Not All Love Stories Have Happy Endings...
Have you ever felt so depressed that sometimes you find yourself asking the question, "why do I even bother trying?" In the past few years, I have been found on a bumpy, rocky road that left me to tears from such a simple, yet powerful feeling. Love. It is the inevitable heartbreak that could easily possess somebody such as myself, to act disoriented around the person that revolves around your world. It was the only thing that stood between me and my destiny. Looking from a distant perspective, it seems as if Love and I could be metaphorically symbolized as a middle-aged couple that have been through multiple break-ups because every time I seem to find someone who might be the one, love is always there to deny my request for happiness.
It all started at the beginning of my freshman year, when I had just met the girl of my dreams. I met her from receiving a fake phone number, and at the time I was bummed that my friend secretly disliked me, but I would not realized until a few years later, that it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Back at the first time I met her, I saw her only as another regular acquaintance, but now after 3 years of close communication, I see her as the only person I would ever want. Now as I view her, I stare into her dark brown eyes because when I look, I see a future where the ending result is always happiness. Her eyes are a gateway to her beautiful soul, which is the only soul that has the key to my heart. Based on future actions, she has the potential to either fill it with love, or burn it with flames, and probably calories. Everyday I see her, I always envision the one day where she might actually say yes to somebody who is of lower class compared to her status. She is the only person that can make me feel happy and sad at the same time. Every time she enters the room, my eyes bloom with hope, while my heart fills with love.
Unfortunately for me, she found a possible soulmate that is probably more compatible with her than me. Seeing them together is like watching a wedding occur after the couple saids "I do." because there is nothing to change the outcome after those two words slowly leave the end of their lips. It kills me to hear how much fun they have together because I have to pretend to be happy for her due to the respect I have for her friendship. I would rather have her somewhat, then to never have her at all. Knowing facts about his past sexuality, and lack of faithfulness, worries me that he will commit the same crimes against the woman I like very much. From out of respect, I chose to keep my opinions to myself because I do not want to be known as the guy who stole the girl from what could have been a successful relationship.
A month later, and it is already homecoming. The spirit of the school filled within me, and the only thing that could complete my day would have been me being able to attend the homecoming dance with the girl of my dreams. Luckily for me, her boyfriend had to work, and her friends decided not to attend. As I approached to ask her to the dance, my palms grew very sweaty, and my heartbeat increased with every step I took in her direction. As the words left my mouth and into the open air, I asked her, "Would you like to attend homecoming with me?" My hands trembled with great speed. I viewed her lips separate, as time slowed down immensely. Her lips moved in a familiar motion, and it was a yes! I felt on top of the world, as if nothing else could ruin my day, and then the night of the homecoming dance came. I arrived fashionably late, and walked in through the entrance to see her with another date. My heart was broken. It was as if she had felt nothing for me. The worst part was that it was not even someone who was remotely relative to her as much as I was at the time. Even though I was dying on the inside, I was still in awe from how beautiful she looked. Her long brown hair that probably took an hour to curl, her red nails that were distinct from her one black nail, and the dark blue dress that made her eyes glow. I wish I could have rushed to her with a great hug and a kiss just like in any romantic movie or novel, but unfortunately, this was reality, and in reality, I was nothing but a friend or brother to her. As the night progressed, I was unable to dance with her due to the amount of time she spent dancing with her another male friend. I found myself left with nothing, but at least I had friends there to lift me up off the ground so I could at least enjoy the rest of my night. As the dance came to a close, and we were down to our last song of the night, I chose to dance with a friend, attempting to at least make her night amazing, even though mine was heartbreaking. Unfortunately, I saw she was sitting alone at the table where she was getting ready to leave. My heart wanted me to grab her by the hand, and ask her to dance. But I already had a friend, and I was not about to commit an action that would have been received as hypocritical on my part due to my lack of poor friendship. So I decided to stay, as I tried to enjoy my last dance with a true friend. After that, the night was over between us, until I tried to persuade her for one last dance at 3 in the morning. I tried to pull it off as a way of making it look as if it was for her, but deep down it was a selfish move for me. I felt the need to complete the night with a dance that I always wanted. I was willingly to due anything to get her to dance with me. Even she asked, "So you are going to drive all the way to my house, just to give me my last dance?" In a heartbeat I responded with, "If it means you accept, HELL YEAH!" Unfortunately, after numerous requests, she denied it.
Now it is the week after homecoming, and still to this day, I vowed to give her the dance "she" wanted. I still ask whether I want to continue my pursuit of happiness, chasing after the girl I have always dreamed of dating, or will I choose to accept defeat? Even though I have endured so much pain chasing her, I have never looked back because it was worth all the time in the world. The truth is that I love her, and I always will, even if I get turned down multiple times, because I know never to give up on your dreams.