The best Chuck Norris Jokes EVER
Okay, I love Chuck Norris. I am pretty sure we all do! His jokes are timeless just like his roundhouse kick. I know most of us know pretty much all of his jokes, I think there may be at least one or two that are slightly new. Even if you know every Chuck Norris joke ever created please let me bring back that smile and chuckle (No pun intended!) that happens every time we hear a Chuck Norris Joke!
Now for the JOKES!
- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
- Paul Bunyan may be able to knock down a whole forrest with one swing of his ax but Chuck Norris can take out a whole forrest with one roundhouse kick.
- Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
- In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
- Chuck Norris once roundhoused a horse in the chin and from then on, its decendents were known as giraffes!
- Chuck Norris knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
- Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about
- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
- Although it is not common knowledge, there are actually three sides to the Force: the light side, the dark side, and Chuck Norris
- Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
- Chuck Norris has a stunt double to do crying scenes.
- Chuck Norris got a perfect score on his ACT by answering "Chuck Norris" on every question.
- Chuck Norris does not go fishing the fish go to Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird
- When Chuck Norris crosses the street the cars have to look both ways.
- Chuck Norris CAN eat just one Lays potato chip.
- If you spell Chuck Norris in scrabble. you win. forever.
- Chuck Norris can rhyme orange and purple with each other.
- A duck's quack does not echo. Chuck Norris is responsible for this phenomenon. When asked about it Chuck Norris will stare at you...grimly.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- There is no "CTRL" button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
- How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?... All of it.
- You are what you eat. Chuck Norris eats steel.
- Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
- The imaginary numbers in math are imaginary because they are hiding from Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris CAN believe its not butter.
- Chuck Norris let the dogs out.
- Chuck Norris let the cat out of the bag
- Chuck Norris got the cats tongue.
If you have any funny Chuck Norris Jokes you want to share please feel free to share. Just keep them clean if you please. Thank you! :)