I am not wearing any pants,...I AM NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!
I have made a decision just today.
That certain parts of me should be free. And free they should stay.
So it is now, with the greatest resolve I say.
I will no longer wear pants, going forward from today.
I know this is bound to cause concertation.
Among the more conservative of the nation.
But I really feel as though I can not be truly happy.
Unless certain parts of me are hanging loose and free.
I know, it is thought to be quite crude.
To go about with the parts visible ,to which I elude.
But I mean to do it and do it I will.
Whether the results be good or ill.
So tomorrow I will go out no pants and much pride.
My free parts swinging from side to side.
Down the way I go swinging right to left, and left to right.
They will even swing forward if I stop just right.
About a few things I will have to be cautious.
Attention from overly friendly dogs could make me nauseous.
I will have to take care how and wear I sit.
The wrong move here could hurt quite a bit.
I will also have to be careful not to squirm.
Lest some hungry bird mistake my parts for a worm.
I have to go now, I must be on my way.
Down the street I go while parts of me do sway.
So if you see me walking free and I do not your sensibilities offend, send a wave my way.
Certain parts of me will be waving to you ,either way!