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Few things not to do after a 'Break up'

Updated on January 11, 2015

This is for all those guys who are facing the ‘heat’ of a break up. Yes! You have read it right, this one is only for guys. My views listed here may sound chauvinistic. However that is not the case and my justification for writing a one sided article is simple - I do not know the other side of it. But that doesn’t mean that I’m cornering out those girls who have gone/going through a break up. It is just that I know what a guy might be going through and I don’t know what a girl might be going through. Those guys who are emotionally strong and are already out of it – Cheers!. Those guys who need a helping hand - here I’m. This is an honest attempt to help out those guys who are going through the toughest times of their lives. ‘Help’ doesn’t mean that I will walk you out of your pain with my words of wisdom. My intention is to instill some positivity in your thoughts and actions. In short – This article is nothing but ‘What not to do after a break up’ kind of stuff. If you get some positive energy after reading this or if you feel that this has helped you in some way, then my mission is accomplished.

Time and again, I have come across many breakup stories and often it is of the couples whom I thought are inseparable. So what leads them to break their most cherished love story?. Does it happen all of a sudden or is it the aftermath of a series of events? Or, Is it always the 'misunderstandings' that play a vital role in break ups? or is it due to ego? or is it a combination of both?

If it is due to misunderstandings, then no need to search for the ‘number of times’. One misunderstanding is enough to spoil 100 memorable moments. If it is due to ego, then I would say it’s good that you broke up. Ego will never take you far in a relation. No wonder why people always relate ego to a flat tire. If it is a combination of both ego and misunderstanding, its better you stop grieving now. Instead, close your eyes, relax for a moment and ‘Thank’ God. I have seen or rather heard people blaming God/Gods for all the mishaps in their love life. Some even moan about the number of candles burnt and the number of coconuts cracked by them for the runaway success of their love story. Dude, its high time, stop blaming others (including God) and try to learn from the experience. Now here experience is nothing but mistakes. Yes, I do agree that after a break up everyone tends to adorn themselves as a saint and confer all the blames on the other person. No need to worry as the 'other person' is not going to argue with you any more. Also, the other person is never going to do a post mortem of the events as you may expect.

Some guys never learn even after the break up. Its ok to cry over the loss. Its ok to give yourself some healing time. However, what is the point in expecting a patch up when you already know that it’s never gonna work as intended. Dude, it all started when you had your first fight/argument. Also, one should conveniently forget all the promises given by her at least now. Those promises given by her during the courtship days might be haunting you a lot now. However, there is no choice now but to forget those sweet promises given by her.

Now, even if you have a patch up (as you hope/expect) are you sure that it’s gonna be in a ‘happily ever after’ mode? Definitely not. All the issues that both the parties ‘conveniently’ bury for a patch up will definitely pop up at some point of time. I would like to relate the whole patch up funda to ‘fixing of broken glass pieces process’. Even if you use the best ‘solution’ available, the marks will always be visible.

There is another lot who rely heavily on social media apps like FB or watsapp in order to heal their pain. In the process they keep on posting quotes about pain, picture quotes with a broken heart and what not? What do they intend by doing so? Do they want the whole world to know that they had a heart break? Or do they expect their ex to see this post and feel sympathetic and thereby make a comeback? What is the point dude? Bull shit status messages and crap picture quotes will never help you to come out. Instead it will invite unnecessary attention and let more people inquire about your love life. Girls will definitely get lot of help after such posts. However, guys please don’t expect the same. With all due respect to your heartbreaking love story, the best you can do here is not to post such nonsense – seriously it doesn't make any sense.

Dude! If she has dumped you, she might have already decided to chase her dreams and make a bright career. Look at you – You might be still struggling in your career. You might still be looking for the right job. Make the right move and concentrate on your career - at least now. Also, this is the best time to focus on all your hobbies or gym work outs. Trust me - You will definitely achieve fruitful results. However, make sure not to depend on alcohol and smoke during this phase. Why should one spoil his health to grieve the loss?

One might also have lot of pictures, emails, sms’es and chat conversations to cherish about. However, these will definitely backfire your efforts to move on. Therefore, I suggest to delete all those ‘non value adds’. I wonder why guys are always hesitant in deleting these stuffs while girls never leave a trace behind. They don’t care about the memories anymore. Trust me - they just trash your pictures, letters, emails, gifts etc. Why should girls have all the fun – delete all those dude..

Also, some guys get some crazy ideas to torture her with the pictures taken during the courtship period or with the emails exchanged during those good old days. That’s not the way one should think or act. It’s nothing but ‘psychic’. She might have already called you as a ‘psychic’ during your break up events. Why
do you wanna prove her right? Above all, Why do you want to spoil someone’s life? Especially when that ‘someone’ was your ‘soul mate’ once upon a time? Instead wish for her well-being and happiness.

Don’t worry boys, the painful days will soon be over. There is always a better tomorrow. Remember - There is no wound that time cannot heal. All the best!


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    Post Comment

    • Mellyunplugged profile imageAUTHOR

      Melvin Augustine 

      3 years ago from India

      Thank You bigj1969

    • bigj1969 profile image

      John Marshall 

      3 years ago from glasgow

      Fantastic hub,very truthful.loved every word.


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