Oddly enough
Oddly enough,my plight is easier to describe
but I don't know why it takes me more skill
to see my broken ribbon bleeding across the pavement
Oddly enough,my plight is a bliss to rejoice
but I don't know why I am still grieving in a pit
It has been a decade
Since she stabbed my back
And slammed the door
Away to a tribe
Erected walls
Planted guards
on every gate
Alone I was left in the middle of an empty hall
Tears streaming down my face
My hands grasping the letter in my hands:
It's a mistake
The whole thing a mistake
I regret it
I am sorry
Two worlds apart never collide together
There is a hole,
A huge gap
No love nor hope could abridge
or make it go.
I am a Christian
You are a Muslim
My road different from yours
No need to blend
or write me poems in volumes
or even come under balcony
serenading
I am done with you
Fly far,far beyond
My sight
Peace out !!.
I read every line,
Every word and syllable,
I looked between the lines for
any speck of light
A straw of hope to clutch on
Nothing
Strength deserted me
Colors blurred
Photographs ripped
I fell and hit the ground
On a gurney to an ambulance
I was taken
almost dead,bleeding.
I opened my eyes
I smiled at destiny
and then I prayed to die
Tears let loose
Faces twisted
Lights twinkled
Heels clicked
Doors opened
and closed
Mouths prayed for me to live
Emergency room !
A hum approached
Steady steps, asynchronous,
Along the starry road
Came to crack and lose my lid
Your time not nigh
Wake up
Move in rhythm of ocean’s belly
unto the new dawn ride your soul.
I stirred from coma,
kicking cotton sheets,
Slowly I lifted my arms, stretched and glanced at a portrait on a bedside table
That s me at the beach in black coat and Whiteman hat
Smiling at the camera
Sweet days,
Footloose and fancy free..
Now I am trapped in here
like in a cave
One arm glued to tube
An other one supported the body to stand
Confused
So used
Fooled
by a girl .
Is love all about this ?
Breaking hearts?
Tearing souls apart?
and stopping continental drift ?
Is it because I am a Muslim that's why she walked out ?
A terrorist that's why she set collateral damage on my heart ?
A tanned skin that's why she ran away in fear from deformity ?
A weird accent that's why she flew miles away from the drilling sound ?
A penniless?
No car,
No dig,
That's why she left ???
Time passed
The questions remained unanswered
Until I saw her getting off limousine
unexpectedly, without warning,
Without waver,
in a dress of lace
with a guy from the same background and color
probably going to a party I soliloquized.
We met,
The thunder rumbled and roared ,
The ground beneath my feet quaked
but I stood tall
Still,
Impenetrable,
The sparking eyes
I once caught myself lost in.
both run out of color and life.
Face,pretty face
I once mesmerized by
Grimaced and withered like a flower in the fall
She wanted to say something ,
but I cut in like a hollow boned
detached from emotion:
My road different from yours
I am gone from reach
No longer will I place myself second
Nor will I wallow in that pain again
I was your victim,but not slain
As you see if you can still see
My sweet illusion,my sweet predator,my sweet dark betrayer.
My life turned out to a great mess
When you slammed the door
Leaving that damned note
And a white Tshirt
With an eagle in the middle from Alaska
I've learnt how to slip through the cracks
And see the light
How to survive without love
How to punch and push
Lift and glide
Kick and scratch
Swing and step
Forward,backward,
On,over
Everything we had long ago
yet not,
Long at all-
It's left behind.
Fly far,far beyond
my sight
Peace out !!
She fell to her knees
in mercy
Covering her head with hands
Sobs choking her
Body shivered like a bird caught under the rain.
I stood there like an iceberg for a moment
and then walked away relieved.
Oddly enough,my plight is a stage in my life passed
But I don't know why I am still here
Recalling every sweet moment with her
The nights that were ours
And the first morning sun rays,slanting through the window
spotting our faces.
Somehow I can't
Seem to forget when she brushed up my lips to wake me up every morning,
The games we played together:
hangman,doll house,checkers,bowling
The cyber s.. we did every time ,away she is rolling
It doesn't
Matter how hard I try to purge
All what we once shared long ago
yet not,
long at all.
Maybe,it was a mistake standing like an iceberg
Watching her bleeding on the floor
Not giving a hand to help
Or an ear to listen.
Maybe,it was the right thing to do
But I am sure it was out of my nature.
Comments
AUTHORhaha I know why you ask about my age lol cause I talked about teenagers .I am 34 :)
True, but we are not all like that Thank God. How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
- AUTHOR
Yeah,it is .I agree.Unfortunately ,Chivalry is dead.No one cares about love anymore. They care about hotness and popularity and money. Life is retarded. Guys are retarded. They always say "That chick's s..e..xy" And never "She's a really nice girl with a great personality" and girls are shallow .They like guys with long hair,tattoos,muscles,money,fancy cars,girlfriends,skills in cheating,lying And never like a guy who cares about them,who is nice to them,he is Godly-fearing,who has a good heart.
Besides, Love is rare because most teenagers especially dont really understand what love is..they just want to have S.....EX and seek pleasure for themselves..and they actually think that S..E...X is EQUALS LOVE which is two different things..and when they are done having s.e..x, and tired of it, they think that they fell out of love.. they dont even give people second chances anymore.. Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own... but loving yourself first because you can even love someone.. and people's generation nowadays are wild.. love is something like "if you're there at their worst, then you deserve them at their best" lf its always having fun..then its not LOVE..you have to get hurt..but teenager nowadays..whenever they get hurt..they will break up right away..they will never out grew it.. its like getting married..they divorce after a couple of years...
Awwww.....a love like this is hard to find! :)
- AUTHOR
Blondey,
I could give it to you lol
You have a beautiful heart. I want one like yours ;)
- AUTHOR
Elena,
Thanks for stopping by and commented.I am alright,just wanted to get it out and share it .
HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY
- AUTHOR
blondey,
Thanks once again for the visit and beautiful insight.That was the story of my broken heart.
I love how this poem tells a story, that's what makes it so interesting and it's quite the story. Awesome
Very deep and interesting Poem. You have a lovely talent for writing them. Hope all is well where you are.
Regards, Elena.
- AUTHOR
@dreamseeker2 . Like a frozen knife stuck in my chest,the pain of betrayal was . An awful pain, but the funny thing is I'm thankful for it. It's like that frozen pain and my very existence are one.The pain is an anchor, mooring me here:) I'll find strength in pain And I will change my ways I'll know my name as it's called again.Thanks for the visit.
Very moving piece from the heart, James! Sad, while drenched with pain and that of a lost love. I know of such pain, but in my own life...of course not the same as yours has been, but in suffering the loss of one once loved, feelings of betrayal and haunting memories from the past that surface when you least expect it. Just know this...from our pain comes change and a chance for a new beginning. To start over a bit worn for wear, but stronger for the journey through all that preceeded its outcome.
- AUTHOR
It came to my mind when I wrote it down :) beautiful song and great movie:)
Very inspiring reminds me of My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion..:)
- AUTHOR
@blondey,Thanks so much for popping up here again and commented.I am still standing firm with a heart still going on.
That's awesome James, that you're passionate and open like this I mean, not the story, that's sad, and painful, but your poem was really amazing I loved it. It was really beautiful.
:)
Hugs
Rose
- AUTHOR
@Cyndi10,Thanks for the visit.Surely,it helped a whole lot better to relieve some pain.Thanks so much once again.
Many Blessings to you.
James
- AUTHOR
@ Eiddwen ,My chwaer.Thanks so much for stopping by and commented.I am so lucky to find someone like you here.I appreciate every word you wrote down here.
Many Blessings to you
hugs and love.
James
Wow! You have really constructed a crescendo of emotion here. I had to exhale after all of that. I hope this was a cathartic journey for you, that the writing has helped you purge the hurt that you felt. Excellent.
Take good care.
Oh James I am so glad that our mutual and dear friend Debbie asked you to write a love poem because what we have in front of us here is indeed nothing less than a masterpiece!!!
your emotion paramount;your strength flowing and your mindset is what has led to myself finding my 'brawd' on here.I relate and appreciate your words and here's to so many more wonderful words for us both to share on here for a long time to come.I vote up,across and also share.
Lots of love to you my brawd
Eddy.
- AUTHOR
@blondey.Thanks so much for stopping by and commented.I really appreciate it.I am glad enjoyed reading it.In some poems,some hubbers thought I am a woman.Yes,very true..personally ,I am very passionate and crazy lol
Many Blessings to you.
James.
- AUTHOR
@dghbrh, Thanks so much for your sweet words.Sometimes,I feel that I m free from my nostalgia,free from pain,free from her but other times,I feel I am stuck.I wonder is it because she was my first love that s why I can t let go or is it because who I met after her couldn't fill her place?Maybe something wrong with me.I wasn't like this,cold,nonadhesive ,so quickly I get bored and fed up.I know as you said everything happens for reason but I m still hang in there.Thanks for your prayers.You are so sweet.
Many Blessings to you
James.
Never you shewed time so far dear James. Its just that everything is destined as it is and some times I feel that its better to die than to live ahead. Trust me friend, even death is toughest to live for when you cant die even. Death in not in our hand then nothings in our hand. So chill.....i know its easy to say or type here. But Chill? Ahmmmm...... well rather emotion get chilled and that is so evident in your this poem here. But there is a reason that we have came ahead this far and still moving. If only death had been easier ! Never mind and the out pour of emotion sure helps to give some peace to our soul. Soul has every rite be happy and you are here to make your soul happy. God bless again. Thanks and some times yes ...the ashes also rise. Ashes do mix with earth and gives birth to green new leaves of hope for new days. Never loose heart and my prayers are there always for you ( though from far across) Take care
I like the way you expressed this; I've never read a poem by a man so passionate before, the story really true? So bitter, so amazing, such betrayal. such pain. over the difference of faith/religion....wow.
- AUTHOR
@dghbrh.Thanks so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to read my story of pain and what cripples me inside.Thanks for the stand,sweet and encouraging words.I am standing firm even if I am bleeding.Trees die standing.I was taught that time heals all wounds.It has been a decade since I got the stab from the back,but I couldn t seem to forget or healed.The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone. I was taught from TV ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.’ Even people who invented this saying and those who keep repeating it as a solemn prayer must realize that the exact opposite is true. What doesn’t kill you maims you, cripples you, leaves you weak, makes you whiny and full of yourself at the same time. The more pain, the more pompous you get. Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you incredibly annoying.
What I am sure of is that I am not the same as before.Something inside has broken,a key lost in vast ocean.No matter how I try and what I do,I am doomed to let downs and never entitled to rise up from the ashes.Anyway,Thanks for giving me your ears and sorry for shewing them off for sure lol :)
- AUTHOR
@Deborah Brooks,Thanks so much for asking me to write this poem.If you didn't, maybe I wouldn't.It has been inside me as a vague thought,as jumbled feelings,many things at once.I let it there locked,hidden,intact but it was there,unable to peel it back, layer by layer until you come and push the trigger on lol.
Neither do I get any notifications of you.Maybe,they had technical problems or shut down temporarily for maintenance.
Many Blessings to you .
James.
Oh dear James.....many thanks to our sweet Debbie, that she asked you to write a love poem and we get this moving poem direct from your bleeding heart. Feeling sad sure and the pages seem to be little scarlet tinted. Its heart breaking even the reasons she offered are so hollow. Be strong my friend because may be God has some different plan for you. May be she don deserve you and the love actually you deserve may wait round the corner. Its tough i know but do not loose your heart so much for which is not suitable enough for those tears. And thanks to Debbie that she asked you to write as its better to pour out which hurts us and let it go then to keep inside to make our souls restive. My prayers all your way...take care and sure there will be tomorrow where there are much more sunshine waiting just for you. My best wishes always. Thanks for this one and I am sharing across and pressed many buttons here excluding the funny part. God bless you always
Oh my dear James.. I had to read this three times.. I feel like this poem has caused you pain.. its beautiful but it so sad.. and what a sad journey it has been for you.
bless your heart my dear.
I am going to link it to one of my new poems..
Grey skies, and I still love you
many blessings my friend
my prayers go with you
oh and I would have checked back with you sooner but I am not getting any hubs on my e mail.. no new notifications.. I cannot figure out what is wrong.
sharing this hub blessings
Debbie
- AUTHOR
@ Mhatter99,Thanks so much for taking time to read and commented.
Thank you for sharing this journey with me.
31