ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Ode to Monster Trucks

Updated on January 4, 2013
Source

Oh to see and hear

With mindless pride and fear

Those big muddy wheels

That could crush a beach full of seals

US and Confederate flags waving

Amidst faces not accustomed to shaving

Drinking weak beer

Not exactly sure when to cheer


In dirty baseball hats

Not worrying about remembering any stats

Oh to suck in poisonous gasoline fumes

Is much better than collecting porcelain heirlooms

Oh Monster Truck

Monster Truck

How you fly through the air

And spray mud into my hair

What I wouldn't give

To have my Ford F10 live

They way monster trucks do

But I shan't be blue

For I know that I can buy

A Grave Digger t-shirt for twenty-nine ninety fi'




Monster Trucks

Let's face it, there are not many things that are more enjoyable than monster truck "events". Sick of thinking too much, brooding, worrying etc? Then you have found your event. The shot of pure testosterone that you will experience will even lead women to grow scruffy beards and beer bellies.

You can basically cheer throughout the whole event. People cheer when the engines rev. People cheer when the truck speeds up. People cheer when the trucks fly through the air. People cheer when the trucks make a landing, or when then flip over, or when they pop wheelies. People cheer when other people cheer. It is amazing. Don't show up without a baseball hat though, or without a t-shirt emblazoned with your favorite truck. Or without a short sleeved button down black shirt with flames on it. You just won't fit in if you show up in a cardigan with combed hair and a clean shave. This will lead to not only your sexuality being questioned, but also your patriotism. You better show up in your own pick-up truck too. Do not even think about coming in a hybrid or compact car, or foreign made car. Those are no nos.

So come on down and have a truckin' good time. The smell of mud and gasoline fumes will make men of you all, whether you like it or not. Also, bring either a US or Confederate flag along, or have one flowing from the top of your own truck. This is no place to brag about your Italian or Irish or German ancestry. This is a place to be a truck fan, nothing more or nothing less.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • brblog profile image

      Bruce 

      5 years ago from Chicago, Illinois

      I’ve often thought about going to a monster truck rally but just never made it. I do love those monster truck commercials on the radio with the two guys yelling out the information in alternating cadences – that stuff is great.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)