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Off The Hook

Updated on March 21, 2011
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Off The Hook

My sons are all grown,
but, sometimes I hear
of times that I failed,
mistakes made unclear.
My initial response,
is defensive in stance...
which hears not what they say...
giving feelings no chance.
for I am not fond of
their childhood critique...
it most often will sting
and my sensitivities tweak.
But I recall vividly,
doing the very same...
and in the name of self-defense,
my mom would point blame...
Now, all I ever needed was
for her to hear my pain...
and open up validation's door
so healing I could gain.
The bitter truth is that she did
the best that she could do,
and now I wear, unwittingly
my mother's same damned shoe!
And so, if I will shut my mouth
and own my own mistakes,
acknowledging the pain they feel
it up's the healing stakes.
My mom was, sure, not perfect,
in truth, neither was I...
We both gave raising kids our best
with no instruction books to ply.
And what is more, if I ever hope
to be let off the proverbial hook...
I need to absolve my mom and read
compassion's forgiveness book.


"Copyright 2011, All Rights Reserved."

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    • Fiddleman profile image

      Robert Elias Ballard 6 years ago from Zirconia, North Carolina

      Well spoken from a real mothers heart.

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Many thanks, Fiddleman!

    • bbnix profile image

      bbnix 6 years ago from Southern California

      There is nothing I can add my dear Tender, but only assert the strength of your sweet character =)

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      The older we get, the more we realize that our parents did just fine raising us.

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      bbnix, thanks!

      WillStarr...It is true. There is something about walking in my mom's shoes, that made me more understanding and wise toward her...

    • Sharyn's Slant profile image

      Sharon Smith 6 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

      Really like this TH! It's true, doing the best you can, who could ask for more. I especially like

      and now I wear, unwittingly

      my mother's same damned shoe

      :)

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Sharyn's Slant,thank you, kindly...! I so appreciate your read and great comment!

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 6 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Boy, can i ever relate. I get more like my Mama every day. Loved it.

    • Bumpsysmum profile image

      Bumpsysmum 6 years ago from Cambridgeshire

      tnderhrt23, lovely verses, fortunately I didn't take after my Mother, but that's a whole other hub....I do get the theme tho, wish I had had a Mother I could've followed after, I took after my Dad so I suppose I can transpose this theme to him, he certainly did his best and even at 83 he still does, bless him :-)

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Thanks, Ruby! Glad you could relate!

      Bumpsysmum, I never really took after my mom, we had a rough relationship. I held her responsible for alot to the terrible stuff that went on in our home for many years...but it is time to absolve her and give her some peace, specially if I want to be let off the hook by my own kids...Hugs to you!

    • MysteriousOne profile image

      MysteriousOne 6 years ago

      Awesome read,Ms Tnderhrt....I can relate so well with this..we all did the best we could and that's about all we can do...Voted up/awesome!

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Thank you, MysteriousONe...I so appreciate your read and comment!

    • Fossillady profile image

      Kathi 6 years ago from Saugatuck Michigan

      What goes around comes around, but that can be more of a good thing than bad...I'm positive you did way more right mom things than not...there comes a time when family patterns are put to rest when we examine ourselves closely...a life unexamined is not worth living...Albert Einstein...you're brave to admit any mistakes you made! This poem is a useful one and at the same time it's really cute!

    • tumblintumblweed profile image

      tumblintumblweed 6 years ago

      Great read, tnder, really enjoyed it!....I guess I'm wearing my mother's shoes too,so you're not alone.lol.. Voted up ..

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Fossillady, thanks! You are so correct and I surely did some things right along the way...parenting is not as easy as it looks...specially since kids don't come with instructions...lol and each one is different...thanks for your comment! It means alot!

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Thanks, tumblin! I so appreciate your comment! Yeah we end up in mom's same shoes...never expected that! lol Hugs!

    • Bumpsysmum profile image

      Bumpsysmum 6 years ago from Cambridgeshire

      Thanks tnderhrt23, I know what you mean, but I'm on a long, long road to forgiveness, if I ever find the end!

      But....on a positive note I don't let it colour my life, I'm always on the up. Parenting isn't easy but I found treating my kids as human beings was a good start, I see so many treated as toys or even mistreated as nuisances, makes my blood boil

      ><

      ^

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      mum, you are so right! treating them as human beings is the best start! I have little tolerance for folks that don't...Peace to you, Girl!

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 6 years ago

      Everyone knows more than I - especially the young.

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Thank you, Micky! ~Peace~

    • Plarson profile image

      Plarson 6 years ago from Alabama

      Tndr- Well ole friend, ya did it again. Beautiful thoughts from a mom's point of view. Gotta lolve the Tinkerbell pic. lol -Paul

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 6 years ago

      Thanks, Paul...another lesson handed to me through words, this one had particular relevance...I love that Tinkerbell pic! lol...reminds me of me!!! Hugs!

    • BeyondMax profile image

      BeyondMax 4 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      True wisdom, beautifully composed, such an inspiration! Great job!

    • tnderhrt23 profile image
      Author

      tnderhrt23 4 years ago

      BeyondMax, thanks...this is one lesson I still struggle with daily...

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