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The Highway to Hell County Scrapbook

Updated on October 25, 2011

"So Keep Your eyes on the Road, Your hands upon the wheel...Said I woke Up this morning and I got myself a Beer..."

"...The Future's Uncertain and the End Is Always Near..Yeah."

Off the Record, Hell County DMV / Highway Patrol

Off the Record...the Following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an acccident in the fewest words possible. In each of the instances actual faulty writing served to confirm that even incompetent writing may be highly entertaining. And for the Record, it is Just Plain more Fun to try fighting things legally. Until you discover, the time to fight has run out, as each of these cases demonstrates all too well. Apparently in Hell County - Justice is so Funny to hear after every single one Liied to multiple officers, and legally on their insurance claim paperwork. Committing, Fraud, Forgery and or more crimes, before each eventually came clean with the absolute Truth.And on the Record: Justice in Hell County is Funnier than Hell, and is so True, So True.

"...Let It Roll Baby Roll..."

"...My only excuse officer, is that I am a natural expert at swervedriiving...and I have probably logged more hours drunk while driving than anyone I know..."

"...Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn't know I had..."

"...The other vehicle collided with mine and didn't give me any warning of its intentions..."

"...I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it...."

"... I collided with a stationary truck coming from the other way..."

"...a Truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face..."

"...a pedestrian hit me and went under my car..."

"...the guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him..."

"...I pulled away fron the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed for the enbankment..."

"...I was paying very close attention to the road, especially with that hitchiker's hand down my pants..."

"...I can only speak for myself, but I think maybe the radio was too loud for me to steer properly out of anyone's way..."

"...Let It Roll Baby Roll..."

"...Now noone else saw anything blocking me from driving thru the backyard...But who really looks underneath their car to check for a swimming pool???"

"...In my attempt to kill a fly. I drove us into a telephone pole..."

" I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see that oncoming car..."

"...I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident..."

"...I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble, when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident..."

"...As II approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident...."

"...My car was legall parked as itbacked into the other vehicle..."

"...an invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and then vanished..."

"......Let It Roll Baby Roll...Let It Roll.......All Night Long......."

"...Looking both directions when I am turning left or right, nobody seems to know that I am truly in painful agony but am encouraging but not just follow U dail

"...I told the police that I was not injured, but upon removing my hat, I found that I had fractured my skull and dislocated my shoulder as well..."

"... I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him..."

"...the pedestrian had no idea which direction to run, so I ran him over..."

"...I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car..."

"...the indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth..."

"...I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows..."

"...tthe telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end of my car..."

"...It is my opinion, that what I actually ran into last night was an illegally parked building..."

 

"...I woke up this morning and I got myself a Beer...I woke up this morning and I got myslef a Beer...the future's uncertain and the end is always near..."

Song Lyrics borrowed in part from "Roadhouse Blues' by Jim Morrison and the Doors

DARK WITH LIGHT / TRUTH THRU WISDOM / POWER AND SOURCE / LOVE UNDER LAW / THUNDER PERFECT MIND / BLESSED BE / KNOW THYSELF

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    • blake4d profile image
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      Blake Ford Hall 5 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      Thanx DR and DDC. Keep on Hubbing. Blake4d

    • Ddraigcoch profile image

      Emma 5 years ago from UK

      Love this hub. It has had me laughing quite hard. Great collection here Blake. x

    • profile image

      dreamreachout 6 years ago

      Blake, this is really funny yet with a message!! Depiction makes one laugh yet the irony is well reminded!! Cheers!!

    • blake4d profile image
      Author

      Blake Ford Hall 7 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      Lol, that is priceless. Glad you enjoyed it. Keep on Hubbing. Blake4d

    • Ivorwen profile image

      Ivorwen 7 years ago from Hither and Yonder

      It's sad, but I never get tired of reading this type of thing. I can really sympathize with the person who looked at their Mother in Law and drove off the embankment.

    • magnoliazz profile image

      magnoliazz 7 years ago from Wisconsin

      LOL...I like your sense of humor!

    • blake4d profile image
      Author

      Blake Ford Hall 7 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      Thanx to all of you, Keep on Hubbing. Blake4d

    • Missi Darnell profile image

      Missi Darnell 7 years ago from Southern California

      what a hilarious hub!!! I'd love one of those tshirts at the top. hee hee

    • blake4d profile image
      Author

      Blake Ford Hall 7 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      Thanx

    • lalesu profile image

      lalesu 7 years ago from south of the Mason-Dixon

      Bah! Hahahaha! Reminds me of Wayne Brown, a fellow hubber, whose brother claims a drunk keeps running him off the road.

      Thanks for the LOLs.

    • blake4d profile image
      Author

      Blake Ford Hall 7 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      So glad you found it informative. Keep on Hubbing...

    • BkCreative profile image

      BkCreative 7 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

      It is so interesting how stationery objects like buildings, telephone poles, etc, hit these dangerous drivers. And good grief - even us poor old folks out for a walk like to dash out in front of 2,000 pound objects. When will we learn?

      Thanks for a most interesting hub!

    • blake4d profile image
      Author

      Blake Ford Hall 7 years ago from Now Rising Out of Phoenix Arizona Earthlings

      Thanx for the praises saddlerider. And you must be vibing off espmail today, because I had just barely hit publish when no sooner you were already commenting and making my morning smile wide eyed and bushy tailed that someone saw it so quickly...its a little odd, but i was really getting a good groove as I wrote it all out. Enjoy, and don't forget to burn one for Mr. Mojo Rising on your private time...RIP

      Keep on Hubbing...Blake4d

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 7 years ago

      Wow Dude, these are the best, picked myself off the floor a couple of times and that was while I was driving, sorry officer I've been driving for 40 years..could be why I finally passed out. I have to pass these around for sure tweeters here we come....Jim Morrison is a knocking at your door, no pun Jimmy, RIP....bro.