ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing

One Year Ago Today - Death Anniversary Poem of Loss of Child

Updated on September 1, 2013
I bought this brick to honor my nephew's memory, with the money going to a center for children that I used to work for in Northwest Arkansas.
I bought this brick to honor my nephew's memory, with the money going to a center for children that I used to work for in Northwest Arkansas. | Source

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today

it was hot

and I was waiting for an oil change . . .

while you were leaving the world.


For ten months I tried

to get another oil change

but I thought of you

and I couldn't. My new car.


I was okay, I was fine,

but for ten months I couldn't.

How shameful, Why not?

And my poor car went on.


It was hot again, and I did it.

And it meant nothing

but it meant everything.

I did it. A milestone.


What is my family doing today?

Life goes on, they say.

Surreal after surreal day becoming real

but never quite concrete.


We have the memories

and we have the pain

and we have the reminders

and perhaps we need them.


It's sad and almost silly

but I will think of you

every time I will remember--

every hot, stupid oil change of my life.


Nearly 3 years ago

Actually, this was written less than two years ago on a one year anniversary.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Debbie--It's hard to catch everything on HP. So much interesting writing going around.

      Yes, life does go on. Writing helps make it better. I'm glad you liked the poem. Thanks for sharing it!

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 5 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      Victoria.. this is beautiful. I do not know how I missed this beautiful poem.. How hard life is.. Your poem reminds me and life does go on doesn't it?

      sharing on Facebook

      Debbie

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Thanks, vocalcoach. I do appreciate that. You're very sweet. "Courageous and beautiful"--I like that.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      OH, that is sweet, Maria. Thank you for putting a positive spin on the oil change thing. What a thoughtful comment!

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      So sad...and lingering forever in the heart is that empty space. Nothing will ever fill it. I am so very sorry dear Victoria. Sending you a warm hub hug and a thank you for your courageous and beautiful poetry.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Victoria--

      My glasses are off and the tears are pouring... so well expressed and my heart and thoughts are with you... I understand in my own way.

      I can hear my Mom telling me the message would be that oil changes symbolize "the life of our cars"... so keep on thinking of your beautiful nephew to keep his memory alive every time you get your oil changed and, no doubt, in so many other positive ways...

      All my love, Maria

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Thanks, Hubert. I appreciate that.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      True, snowdrops. The memories are always flashing around. That's an accurate way to put it.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      moonlake--I totally agree. That's all we can do.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      unknown spy--It is hard to lose someone, and I dread the next time it happens. Sorry about your gran; you must have been very close. Thanks for reading.

    • profile image

      Hubert Williams 5 years ago

      Thanks Victoria I appreciate that, but don't let it detract from the purpose of your hub. The loss of your nephew was tragic, no matter how long ago it happened. Loss of a young life is a sad thing.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Oh, Hubert. That is so sad. What a tough year for you. And your mom just today? I don't even have the words. Thinking of you. Gosh, take care, huh?

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Annie--I'm sure you can relate. Things like this are definitely surreal. I'm glad you like the candour (candor in U.S.!) and openness. Your comments are very thoughtful and mean a lot to me. Thanks.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Thanks, Vellur. Well said.

    • snowdrops profile image

      snowdrops 5 years ago from The Second Star to the Right

      So sorry to hear this Victoria... its really painful, memories keep flashing back and forth like a broken CD...

    • moonlake profile image

      moonlake 5 years ago from America

      So sorry for your loss. Beautiful poem. I don't think we ever get over our losses we just push them back and learn to go on living. What else can we do?

    • unknown spy profile image

      IAmForbidden 5 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

      I'm sorry for your loss dear Victoria.. the pain really hurts, its like you're asking yourself, is this for real??? .. i rally don't have any courage for any loss. i mean, i loss my gran a long time ago but im still crying every night..

    • profile image

      Hubert Williams 5 years ago

      It is so very sad when a young one loses their life. Every memory, bittersweet. Our family lost two babies this year. My mother died today. Perhaps if they meet, they can look out for each other and watch over the new baby born yesterday.

    • Fennelseed profile image

      Annie Fenn 5 years ago from Australia

      I can relate to this Victoria, those things that were just a normal part of life, but now have associations that make them poignant and difficult seem to pepper our lives after losing a loved one. I feel the surrealness that surrounded you when you wrote this two years ago. I like your candour and openness and I like your poem. Sending my hugs and best wishes to you, from Annie.

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 5 years ago from Dubai

      I feel sorry for your great loss. Losing loved ones can really tear you apart. The pain never goes away but the wonderful memories are there to carry on.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Thanks, anglnwu, for your sweet comments.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Joyce, so sorry about your brother. My nephew's 3rd anniversary will be in August. Thanks for commenting. Take care.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Thanks, Trinity. That means a lot!

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      I know, jon. Something as weird as an oil change....Glad you came by. Thanks.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      AEvans--You had such a hard year. Yeah, I guess it gets easier, but it's always there. So sorry. And thanks for your sweet words and sharing.

    • anglnwu profile image

      anglnwu 5 years ago

      So sorry about your loss. You captured your pain well--how something as mundane as changing oil can become a painful reminder. Peace and hope to you and your brother.

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

      I'm sorry you feeling like this today. But it does take a long time to get over losing a close family person.

      I'll be thinking of you in September it will be my brother's second anniversary.

      Voted up and beautiful, Joyce.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Hyphenbird--We are healing. Thanks for your kind words and blessings.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Thanks, Cloud! What thoughtful comments! I appreciate the time you took to give such insightful feedback. Thanks so much.

    • Trinity M profile image

      Trinity M 5 years ago

      How sad; losing someone we love is the worst pain of all. So sorry for your loss Victoria. Beautiful poem and a fitting tribute.

    • jonmcclusk profile image

      Jonathan McCloskey 5 years ago from Cinnaminson, New Jersey

      Apologies for your loss, but this is a great tribute. It's amazing how many things will actually trigger a memory of the ones we've lost. Unfortunately, sometimes it's not the best feeling when we remember.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      weavesandbraids--He was three. Thanks for your kind words.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Thanks, Charu. Much appreciated.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Kyricus, I'm sorry about the loss of your mother. I hope you find comfort. Thanks for reading this.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Paul Kuehn--Thanks for your kind words and for sharing the poem.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Thanks, Ghaelach. I think that, too, but then I think that maybe they are the lucky ones because they get to miss out on all the heartache. Thanks for the thoughts.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Thanks, Koshaugh. I appreciate that.

    • profile image

      AEvans 5 years ago

      Beautiful Vickie and so touching. I am not the only one struggling with the loss of someone who is loved. People say the pain never goes away; but it gets easier. I don't know about that because I am still feeling the loss and its been almost two years since mom, one of our dogs and my favorite Uncle in 2011. I know there are days when we can laugh and smile; but there are also days when we can cry.

      What thoughtful and meaningful words to someone you love so much. up and shared.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Curiad--Yes, it's good to write about it, I think. I appreciate your comments...and blessings, too.

    • Hyphenbird profile image

      Brenda Barnes 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

      The loss of a child stops us in our tracks. I hope your family is healing and able to smile again. It does take years. Bless you all.

    • CloudExplorer profile image

      Mike Pugh 5 years ago from New York City

      Wow this is a very different kind of poem, I never though of writing something quite like this, it is definitely original in its true nature, and has loads of real life thoughts as opposed to abstract ones, like many poems tend to have.

      I think your on to something with this real life sort of car connected poem here with that of your loved one, nice technique Victoria, I never really felt that bad about an oil change before or the associated memory of one, but you managed to take such feeling to a whole new level indeed. "Sorry for your loss."

      Voted up and out for super originality and authentic creative value.

    • weavesandbraids profile image

      weavesandbraids 5 years ago from Africa

      This is soo touching. You will always remember. I hope the good memories make up for the loss as time goes on.

      He must have been very young.

    • Charu Bhatnagar profile image

      Charu Bhatnagar 5 years ago from India

      It is very-2 touching, and beautiful. thanks for sharing.

    • Kyricus profile image

      Tony 5 years ago from Ohio

      Very well done.

      I'm coming up on the one year anniversary in July of the loss of my mother, and though it won't be an oil change that triggers the flood of memories, I'm sure something will.

    • Paul Kuehn profile image

      Paul Richard Kuehn 5 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

      Victoria,

      This is a beautiful poem. It is tragic that your nephew left this world at such an early age. I'm very sorry for your loss. Voted up and sharing.

    • profile image

      Ghaelach 5 years ago

      Morning Victoria.

      A beautiful written poem to a very sad memory. It always seems so unfair when it's our babies and very young that are taken away. They never had a chance to see and feel the good things we have in our lives.

      Take cae Victoria.

      LOL Ghaelach

    • Koshaugh profile image

      Kara Monterey 5 years ago from Indianapolis

      Sad but beautiful! Thanks for sharing.

    • Curiad profile image

      Mark G Weller 5 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

      Well Victoria, I can Imagine how hard it was to go through this. It is good you have the tribute for him and I would think now, it is good for you to say this.

      Blessings for you all.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      No, tammy,you're right in that it's not fair, and it changes everything. Nothing is ever the same. Thanks for reading. I appreciate it so much.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Oh, gosh, Angela, I can't imagine how it was losing your only child. I don't think those losses ever fully heal. They do change us; i just hope it's for the better. I'm glad you came by. It's good to stick together in our losses. At least I think so.

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 5 years ago from North Carolina

      Vicky,

      This is a powerful poem that really sends your loss home. I am so sorry for your loss. It isn't fair that children leave us. This is a loving and touching tribute.

    • Angela Blair profile image

      Angela Blair 5 years ago from Central Texas

      My condolences, dear. I totally understand -- I lost my only child, a son, not long ago and one expects to get better every day and then every day comes and it doesn't happen. Faith tells me our losses may be a wound that will never fully heal -- but in time it won't bleed as badly. Lovely poetry and touched my heart. Best/Sis

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Thanks, Effer. I know. It's not supposed to happen that way. Our family felt lucky, protected, no great tragedy until then. When it happens, it changes the feeling of everything. I know you know that. You've experienced so much loss. Thanks for your hugs and tears. It means a lot to hear from you, my truly sweet online friend.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Thanks, Peggy. It was something I felt I needed to do--purchasing the brick. I appreciate your comment.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      My heart is so heavy and aching with sadness for you and your family, Vee. You know that I can truly feel this pain of senseless loss. Babies aren't supposed to leave us....they must not be taken away.

      My tears are stinging my eyes.........I'm sending you hugs. Awesome & beautiful.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 5 years ago from Houston, Texas

      And let me add my condolences as well. It is funny sometimes what trigger memories...both happy as well as sad ones. Purchasing that brick was a positive thing to do. It is a nice memorial and also a way to help other children.

    • Victoria Lynn profile image
      Author

      Victoria Lynn 5 years ago from Arkansas, USA

      Thanks, Bill. I am sure that is true. I needed to write this, but it took me a long time to publish it. Thanks for being the first to comment.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I can tell you for a fact that you will always remember and it will always be associated with the oil change. I'm sorry for your loss, Vicki! Beautifully written.