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Opening Up A Cut That Never Seems To Heal

Updated on October 28, 2010

We Try Hard But It Is Never Enough

When we reach to our feelings and find a sadness and loss

We had so much promise and are left with empty hands

Each time we try to forgive and forget and it doesn't happen

The reaccuring pain is a nightmare that we can not shake

It is time to understand that we need to change

We should not have to continue this endless cycle of torment

It is our decision to move on to a better feeling

That may be small but can escalate to wonderful feelings

If we have time to feel the pain we also have time to feel happiness

One emotion will dominate over the other

It is very hard to concentrate

Just relax and understand it took years to become what it is today

You have already started change

You have taken a closer look at the problem and have already found a temporary solution

Start small and think big

Let your pain out and good thoughts in

I like to write my painful thoughts on paper and put a big x on them

It is my way of saying you don't control me anymore

I am in control and I am going to show you

Some people like to write their bad thoughts down and later burn them

So they can see their problems go up in smoke

If the problem comes back again

Feel free to do it again

You will find relief

Just letting your thoughts out

That you have hidden and never mentioned

Maybe you thought you understood your feelings

When you wrote them on paper maybe they were different than you thought

You have taken the time to see them come to light

Now you are ready for the next step

Write about the way you want things to be

Write once again in great detail

This time you put this writing front and center

You can not change the way life is

But the way you feel and the things you love

Can be enjoyed in your mind many times

You don't need someone elses approval

To feel good as often as you wish

Now expand on those thoughts and find other things you like to do

Do a couple of those things and recapture the feeling you love so well

It could be as easy as watching a favorite t.v. program

Taking a walk

Minding a neice you haven't seen

Now once your feeling good

Try to write as many good things as fast as you can

Give yourself a time limit

Fifteen minutes and fill the page

These are moments that are special

Some you have done long long ago

With this list a mile long

Stop and read it often

Add to it from time to time

Try to make another list of good things you love to do

This time write it in less time (ten minutes)

Start fresh without looking at the first list

Now when you have the time

Look at the first list and list emotions you feel when doing the things you love so much

I like to put it right beside my favorite activities

I like to write these emotions larger in size

To remind me of how powerful each feeling is

I get a marker or highlighter and make them stand out

You feel the joy of the words that you speak

You experience the emotion you are meant to appreciate

Now if some day you feel down

Turn to the list that you have created

Of all great choices from beginning to end

This is your support team

This is your own coach that guides you

You are stronger now and don't need acceptance from those who don't care

You have given yourself permission to be who you want to be

No strings attached

No rules to follow

Just love and more love to feel and give

You find more time to do other things that you love to do

Make those things fun and put a little date next to those things that you have done

Only a few minutes here

But a world of difference is clear

You have come out of your shell

You are no longer a crab

You need to know

You are F A B U L O U S !!!!!!

Yes I said you are I N C R E D I B L E!!!!!!

You have listened to others who changed your mind

Now listen to all the good things you are and believe them

You are on with your life

You are leaving the pain and sorrow

You are creating more good than you ever thought possible

Now it is up to you

Like in the past

To follow your lead

You are no longer  traveling alone down that dirt road

You are with different people every day

 Many people who feel good and bad emotions

Your happiness is here to stay

You know how to make your life more enjoyable than ever

You don't need me or anyone else any more

to tell you the way you should feel

You never needed it before but you lost your way

Now you have found yourself

Share your love

With anyone who matters to you

Those who don't want your love

It is their loss and you move on

There is so much to do and you have your life to live

It is time  to accomplish all your dreams

Start now and make yourself proud

For you are what really matters

If anything else do it for you

The world has changed because of your love

It only has become better

Thanks for reading my poem turned into a letter


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    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      8 years ago

      Dim Flaxenwick You knew the answers. You just let me remind you from time to time.I am so glad to have that pleasure and seeing your happiness flow which is no longer a hidden buried treasure.

    • Dim Flaxenwick profile image

      Dim Flaxenwick 

      8 years ago from Great Britain

      Best counsel I´ve heard in a long time. Fabulous. Thank you.

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      8 years ago

      Joy56 I hope you will always come back to chat, to enjoy, to share and dream.

    • Joy56 profile image


      8 years ago

      i so enjoyed reading all of that, will come back to it again, to pick out the best bits.

    • Joy56 profile image


      8 years ago

      i so enjoyed reading all of that, will come back to it again, to pick out the best bits.

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      8 years ago

      Nellieanna All is good and I once again am thrilled with your comments.How fitting for Halloween!!You keep the thoughts rolling and I will keep learning.I hope we can have a deal?Special days to me is one where you get to share with friends everything under the sun.The greatest part of it is when you have differences you talk and sometimes opinions change sometimes they don't.But your friends are still by your side.You can laugh and cry but never hide.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      8 years ago from TEXAS

      Real life IS whatever one's subjective life IS. What else can it be?

      And so long as we make allowances for each other's different "real lives" going on, there is no problem and we can live in harmony. I suppose it was what almost sounded like a scream for help in another of your hubs which prompted me to mention little things that might ease the sense of strain or tension. I'm delighted to see that it was obviously just a single moment in time and whatever tension there was has been put into perspective and a happy view of it is the present view.

      No two folks ever see everything from the exact same perspective and what it bugging one may spill over at times. But folks who love each other - and themselves, which is essential too - will find the shared thread again and be content. Your viewpoint is excellent in my opinion. It's almost exactly how I feel - and how my George felt up till almost his death. He always had projects going and inventions in the works, dreams and hopes in progress. It's a good way to be!!

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      8 years ago

      Nellieanna Once again you give me food for thought.This time you gave me a 5 course meal.I appreciate your insight and knowledge.I try to see life through a kaleidoscope.I failed to understand the same shapes and colors that I see are not the same reponses and feelings that others see when they see the exact same thing as me.I only know my perspective and I share my views.I will be more compassionate and understanding of other peoples views.I only know that when I have a busy schedule and time is limited I try to fill in each hour the best I can to bring about the most positive changes for me and others I offer to help.Some people love their life just the way it is and wouldn't change a thing.Even if they are in prison for stealing or doing or dealing drugs.They feel the only mistake they made was not being smart enough to not get caught.Nothing is wrong!I have an issue with that.I try every day to do what good I can to make my world better for myself and others so we can all enjoy and persue our own interests and joys with no harm to others.I draw the line.Then there is a fine line when people just want to be happy with what they do and nothing more.They just think every day is about watching t.v. and the next show thats on.What they want to eat and how much money they have to make themselves happy.They are not concerned with life around them or other people and other causes.Thats fine they live their lives and have every right to enjoy it the way they see fit.It is just not the life I choose for me.I am busy with dreams and ideas that don't exsist yet.How to prevent someone from getting hurt and knowing that I was able to think and have the ability to create that.The passion that I feel is real.The emotions I feel is real.I know things take time.So the time I spend trying to make something better is a long slow process of trial and error.Many more errors and very few successes.I honestly feel the excitement in the challange and the drive to continue.I find no instant success.I may be practicing things that are years away from completion but that doesn't stop me.I know in the end things will be better than when I started.I also know if I stop now I will be half complete and have not done what I started to do and nothing to show for my years of efforts.The dream can easily die there.The time will have been wasted only when I stop to see my dream to fruition.I also realize that one day I will die and unknown to me when.So I must push on to a fast and vigorous pace.Not that I don't like to go to the movies or go on vacation.I love them so much.Even cleaning the house up to look nice and neat and orderly.There is so much to be said for a beautiful home on the inside and then the outside is easy to match the perfect color or shade.I do understand we all have our own agendas to follow.My wife has things she wants to get done.I stopped to help her and we did clean out some old and no longer needed stuff.The kitchen looks better than it did 9 years ago.I am so proud of my wife and I.We are a great team.We do balance each other out.I sometimes have to be reeled back to earth and reminded this is not real life.People are not always trusting and honest.There are people that are bad people and they will stay bad people no matter how hard you try.You just make it your job to stay far far away and live your positive imaginary life.I do believe that what we think is what it is!I will always believe that way and have to follow my distant and sometimes hollow dreams.When the day comes and I can fill them with heilium and watch them float.So they can rise to a new horizon I have never seen before.I have done it.By pushing all the right buttons and doing what I do best.Seeing the bright side of everything not an empty basket that sinks instead of floats.I am very happy to have a wife that is supportive and helpful.She does more for me than I do for her.I always find a way to tell or show her.She always gives me her views and she couldn't thank you enough for what you have said.I have many faults and hopefully they won't bring me down.I battle with them often.I guess sometimes I am just a floating clown.But when you see me I hope you will leave with a smile and a laugh.I will be happy to now I finished what I did start.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      8 years ago from TEXAS

      This is more positive and likely to help, not hurt the floundering relationship, Just make sure you really feel she is FABULOUS. Saying it if it contradicts true feelings won't hold up to the real test. How to change feelings, you may ask? Mostly it's clearing out the garbage and debris blocking the good ones. Self-talk is mighty and powerful. If your mind is usually saying she's unreasonable or obsessive and tiresome, -that is what your body language and non-verbals will communicate. She'll KNOW you resent her even if you tell her she's great. Stop and think. Are the things you find to criticize merely things that inconvenience you and displease you? Have you considered that maybe it's important to her to clean the cabinets. If she does the cooking, she needs to have it handier, perhaps? She may have needed some stuff at one time which no longer serves a purpose. She may have even acquired some stuff thinking it would be useful and found it wasn't. Gifts come into a household which one hates to discard because they were gifts but they can begin to be burdensome. Why she gets it all out at once may be because that's the only way to truly organize an get things placed in more handy places. Just cleaning one cabinet at a time can't do that. Give her a little benefit of the doubt. Look at it from her perspective a bit more. And TELL her yours, don't just let it fester into resentment!

      You know what? There is real love there, I think. But it can't survive friction and lack of communication and lack of mutual tolerance forever. Do you want to give up after the years of living in quiet desperation trying to hang onto it? Fix it! The part YOU can fix is YOUR part. She needs you to like her again and to do that, you have to pause to see things from her perspective. She's desperately trying to fill a void created by being resented, perhaps. You don't mean to be mean, I am certain. You want to be loving. For that to happen, you must truly SEE her as a lovable person AS she IS, faults & all - just as you want to be accepted and loved for who you are, not as you "should be" but as your are. Just present her with your lovable qualities, among which is TOLERANCE and TRULY accepting and even appreciating those little eccentricities of hers which you've allowed to bug you and drive distance in your relationship.

      Which is more important, whether she saved a lot of useless Tupperware or that she loves you and wants to provide you with home-cooked food? If she's become aware that the tupperware is cluttering up her life, she'll have to try to get rid of it, but she may also need to keep some of it, so it requres a little attention and it won't clear itself up.

      If she seems to be doing it in haphazard or even unreasonable ways, perhaps she's become half-frantic about her life and how it's going, including your relationship. If you can understand these possibilities and think of it from her standpoint as well as your own, you may be amazed at how much more easily you're on the same wave length about the things that really matter to you both. She's terribly uptight and tense. Why? Well, very likely it's the sad state of the relationship, just as it's making your uptight and tense and possibly behaving contrary to your true nature and feelings.

      She may have gotten snared in the means to that end, but you can look to the underlying reasons, believing in her better motivations. If I were a betting person I'd bet a LOT that she is not trying to bug you or turn you off. She just needs your help in settling her fears and helping her past the evident mountain of efforts to make up for the distance and find meaning in her own life, since it may seem she can't reach you any longer.

      Why on earth else would a woman want to keep struggling with a bunch of pots and pans and dealing with days of stress and resentment but in hopes of finding ways to reach her guy and to provide her man with good meals and to be a helpmeet in the best ways she knows how. Maybe she doesn't know your true feelings or only in ways that don't provide give and take for hers? Does it all have to be perfect in order to suit you? Could it be that your outward attitude of indifference to her needs and issues and resentment of how she tries to resolve them has only intensified her problems with satisfying you and hanging on to her own personhood? Can you look at it from her side? You are an expert at looking at it from yours & you're even good at recognizing your own individual quirks, which is good. Try giving her the same quality of benefit of the doubt! What a miracle that could reap!! And she must give your needs equal attention too, of course. But maybe it is up to you to offer that kind of understanding of HER, not just presenting what YOU think important while resenting and undermining her needs.

      When she does something you think is obsessive, think of it as being part of who she is, rather than an inconvenience or a frustration for you. Smile about it, tease her about it, PLAY more.

      You are half the formula - half the solution or half the problem. DO what you can and I'll bet you'll see her WANTING to do her part.

      You really deserve to be happier. So - BE happier and make her life happier.

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      8 years ago

      Brandonfan You will find your way in due time.We are one of the same.Happy a better day than yesterday and its a great start.

    • brandonfan profile image


      8 years ago from Mid West

      Very inspiring Dream On, I want, and NEED to take this advice so badly!

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      8 years ago

      Acaetnna We all have are highs and lows in life.I just want to go up and up and up.Maybe we can find a way.Thanks so much.

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      8 years ago

      Darlene Sabella I am so happy to see you home again.Thanks for enjoying and making life so much fun.

    • acaetnna profile image


      8 years ago from Guildford

      Loved it Dream On - thank you.

    • Darlene Sabella profile image

      Darlene Sabella 

      8 years ago from Hello, my name is Toast and Jam, I live in the forest with my dog named Sam ...

      Dream on, eveyone of your hubs I read just get better and better then the last...I missed you while I was away, now I am back to bask in you love of life...your fan darski

    • DREAM ON profile imageAUTHOR

      DREAM ON 

      8 years ago

      Poet625 I hope my tips might help those who are also looking to feel better.Not just for the moment but each day no matter what people think or say.Have a day filled with new memories and wonderful times treasured always.Thank you for reading when we have so may other things to do.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      tanx 4 sharing

    • profile image


      8 years ago



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