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PATTERNS OF ABUSE - From Anyone

Updated on January 23, 2012

When is Enough ENOUGH!

We have all been in abusive relationships. This I know for sure. Sometimes it comes from family members, friends or or even co-workers. Sometimes it comes from "out of space" in the strangest ways even when you are not asking for it! You can be standing in a market, stuck in line and some whack job decides to "put their crap on someone" and you happen to be there in that exact moment and time. VOILA!!! Congratulations on your upcoming promotion of "punching bag!" Let us celebrate this great moment of bad timing!!

I will never forget standing in line with my sister at a well known chain store checking out and paying for our goods and a woman behind the counter decided that she wanted to "down something" or someone and made a rude comment but tried to act like she was being "funny." Instead of me standing there and taking it, I decided to give it back to her and make her feel like a fool. It was easy actually because she put her foot in her mouth in the first place! I mean how many people get away with abusing total strangers?!!! A LOT I tell you!!!

JUST THINK ABOUT IT!!!

How easy is it to take out things on a complete and total stranger. Interesting thought isn't it? Some people do it all the time I am sure and when I think about it, I also think about extended family members from the past that were abusive in their little ways at family gatherings. I like to say "passive aggressive" to describe the behavior best. You know the little smirks of jealousy that would rear their ugly heads in a sentence or two...maybe more. I remember it all too well and it was very easy to see how envious people could be when someone else is truly "happy."

The funny thing is that total strangers do not even know you but sometimes they act like they do and then all of a sudden.....BAM! You become "victim" to one of their insane outbursts!!! I can go on and on but I tell you I have experienced some crazy run ins with strangers and have had to duck from the bullets on their tongue!!! HAVE YOU?!

Definition Of Abuse.....

1. to use wrongly or improperly; misuse: to abuse one's authority.

2. to treat in a harmful, injurious, or offensive way: to abuse ahorse; to abuse one's eyesight.

3. to speak insultingly, harshly, and unjustly to or about; revile; malign.

4. to commit sexual assault upon.

5. Obsolete . to deceive or mislead.

Boundaries.....

SO, how does one deal with going out and having a regular day and then getting "side swiped" by a total nutcase?! Boundaries my dear Watson.....BOUNDARIES. The first thing you need to do is be able to recognize when someone has gone past "your comfort zone." As soon as you feel like you have been "abused," do not sit there and take more of it. Try your best to not "engage" the attacker and move on to safer grounds. If someone is out to abuse you or anyone else in their path, they will not stop until they do so! Do not be the one to take it and to give the person more to even feed off of.

This is what abusers do....they feed off of "drama," "discomfort" and "chaos." Most abusers will do as much as they can while they can so if you no longer give them any sort of "in" or "license" to be abusive and continue their pattern with you they will eventually stop. THIS IS NOT EASY. This is something that takes work. I'm not a therapist but it took me a long time to figure this all out. SO, AMEN to that!

If you or someone you love is being abused, please seek professional help immediately. Although we can't always seek help when it comes to every day events with total strangers....we CAN get help for situations that are closer to home.

Protect the one's you love......


GPAGE

COPYRIGHT 2012

Hub Pages Author - GPAGE

All rights reserved. This material may not be republished, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed in any form or way.


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    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR

      GPAGE 

      6 years ago from California

      Hey Ausseye...Thank you so much for your comment! I don't know how I missed this one? Sometimes the emails get "overwhelming" but I'm glad I checked into the account here. I'm so happy you love my work! I appreciate your words and the way you take time to share thoughts and experiences. I think what you said best is "really good people never want to pretend...." I feel that good people never have to pretend.....Thank goodness for good people! G

    • profile image

      Ausseye 

      6 years ago

      Hi Page…love your work. Nope I is good just absent sometimes…….called time out. But this hub is a small moment of truth….just reading about the French Hate Machine…abuse is sometimes deadly. You caught the moment, people are the source of our problem. Thank goodness they are in the minority or what sort of day would we all have. Love when you can give it is a absolute pleasure. We share a ideal!!!

      As some very life weary person said, nasty people want to pretend they are really good while really good people never want to pretend to be nasty……..a real moment the world has got to learn to deal with. As I have already said love your work……

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR

      GPAGE 

      6 years ago from California

      lindsey. I am sorry sorry for what you had to go through. It makes me sad to know that this happens to people. The trust issues alone can make you distant. I'm not sure if you are on hubpages but it may be good for you to write a diary of what you went through here or on a blog. I'm sure it will help a lot of people. That is why I write. To help and inspire people. you have a voice too and a pen or computer. I'm sending positive thoughts your way. GPAGE

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR

      GPAGE 

      6 years ago from California

      Hey Ausseye! Have not seen you here for awhile....Hope you are well! I try to keep good people around me at all times. This is one of my goals for the rest of my life. I keep a distance from "cray causers" and people who do not want to hear "positive criticism" in order for them to move onto a better place. I believe in helping yourself before helping others and the more crazy people around the less good you can do for the world!! Why not save our loving energy up so we can make a difference in something! The glass is always full in my life! Amen! G

    • GPAGE profile imageAUTHOR

      GPAGE 

      6 years ago from California

      tyler! thanx for stopping by and leaving your comment! Best, GPAGE

    • profile image

      Lindsey 

      6 years ago

      Good hub for all people to read! I was abused by my own father when I was 13-15. It was first under the disguise of back rubs, which led to intimate massages when I didn't really need or want them. That boundary that you talked about began being crossed. I would ask him to stop and he would reply, "I am just trying to make you feel good Lindsey, thats all." My legs were next, and within a year, he had slipped his hand down my pants, in his words, "to make me feel good." It stopped when I finally "screamed" for help when I was 15, but not before he had groped me and gave me oral sex. I should have "screamed" once that boundary was crossed, but I didn't. It is so important for us women and girls to know when it is too far.

    • profile image

      Ausseye 

      6 years ago

      Love makes the world go round, hate makes it’s way into our private boundaries. Good people are the source of great peace if only there were more of them. The secret of personal power is if you have good people around you it’s easy to put up with the din of hate as it’s impotent legacy leaves such a small stain. Life is too short to spend it on giving some attention to those obsessed with their own needs to harm, not worth the effort. Am with you in the queue to a cheap checkout on what is worthy of our real attention. Daeye to you GPage

    • profile image

      tyler 

      6 years ago

      Thank you for writing this!

      Your candor and clarity is very helpful!

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