ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Books, Literature, and Writing»
  • Commercial & Creative Writing»
  • Creative Writing»
  • Humor Writing

Passionate Wrestling Fan Only Does the Mega Powers Handshake

Updated on June 9, 2016

The Mega Powers Handshake

A 43 year old father of three is making headlines in his small hometown of Sandersville, Ohio. Dan Fitzgerald, an office manager at a medical billing company, refuses to greet anybody in town with anything but a very firm but nervous Mega Powers handshake.

Despite having worked at the company for over a decade, Fitzgerald still looks toward an imaginary crowd anytime a co-workers goes in for a handshake.

"I've known Dan since the first day he started. We were in the same orientation. Despite this, he always seems very nervous when I shake his hand. As if he thinks I am going to double-cross him. It's all so bizarre," said co-worker Benjamin Silva.

Dan, who encourages his co-workers to call him "Dan The Man," says the handshake is pure instinct. It commences when somebody, stranger or acquaintance, extends their hand for a greeting. Instead of going right for the shake, as one would normally expect, Dan just stares at the hand in a suspicious manner. He then slowly cocks his head to one side, and then the other, looking towards an imaginary crowd. Then, as if he finally talked himself out of his own paranoia and accepted he has found a friend, Dan will slowly bring his left hand to his right wrist, and then powerfully grab the palm of his victim. With a solid yet incredulously creepy smile, Dan finishes the handshake by shaking his head up and down in approval of the greeting.

The whole process takes at least two minutes, depending on how much Dan will milk the imaginary fans, and his co-workers lovingly refer to it as "exhausting" and "a severe waste of time."

The former high school football spectator said he started doing this in 1989, after watching the build up for the feud between Hulk Hogan and Macho Man Randy Savage. Since then, he has always done the Mega Powers handshake. He continues to be firm in his desire to shake hands like the Mega Powers, and does not see it changing any time soon.

"I've been doing it for 27 years! The only time if ever gets awkward is at funerals. The grieving family doesn't always find it as cute as I do, " Dan said.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.