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Pathetic and Weak

Updated on July 1, 2014

I’m writing again

so I guess that means

the happy bubble

was popped

and now I’m

falling

back into how

I used to be.

Sad and lonely

with nothing to

show

except a crushing

feeling

of not being able to breathe

and dry eyes

of tears past.

My hands

are trembling

with the thought

of you touching them

and my lips

yearn for yours.

My body feels

used and rejected

hollow and empty.

I’m afraid that

every time I see you

my chest is going to

concave into itself

and I won’t

be able to

breathe.

And I thought

that was the

easiest thing

with you

but I guess

I was wrong

about everything

and I can’t

get my hands

to stop

shaking.

I think they’re

under control

but then I think

of you

and there they go

again.

Every time.

Everyone says I’m so

strong

But I’m not

Because the feeling

of a bowling ball

on your chest

and your brain

tied to a hamster wheel

is not

strong.

It’s pathetic

and weak.

And that’s what I am.

Because of you.

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