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Personal Monologue

Updated on July 22, 2010


Personal Monologue

So we’re all at the lake house, right? And it’s me and Grandma, and my two cousins Koti and Jazz (both girls). We’re sitting there having our every day crazy conversations when we get into the topic of how boys usually come out of the closet in college, instead of in high school because they are more likely to be widely accepted there. And then I decide to throw in that in MY high school in particular has probably around 15 guys who are out of the closet, and maybe two lesbians! So we all come to the conclusion that there happen to be more gay boys in school then there are lesbian girls. When all of a sudden grandma decides to chime in and say, “Actually lesbianism is becoming a lot more popular in high schools these days.” And we’re sitting there like, how would you out of everyone here know that? And she’s going on about her television programs and how they tell her everything she needs to know. How “that Dr. Phil is the most amazing man and he is a genius, he helps so many people”. So we’re looking around at each other and burst out laughing because we are all in high school, and we’re pretty sure we would know better than her 69 year old self. But oh no, she can’t let it go. As she sits there with a smug look on her face, chewing ice out of a glass, my cousin Koti decides to be inappropriate and says, “You know Grandma, when you chew ice it means your horny”. I chuckle, and think she’ll just give a disgusted look or something along those lines. But no, she’s not your every day average grandmother. Instead she chimes back with, “Big fucking deal”. With that my cousin Koti decides to also let her know that if you’re eating red M&M’s, it also means you’re horny. So my grandma goes on to say, “Red M&M’s are MY favorite…and Dr. Phil says M&M’s are okay for you every once in a while”.


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      amy 5 years ago

      good monologue