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Rumours with a view

Updated on April 12, 2011
The Japanese Prime Minister shows the technique that led to his injuries
The Japanese Prime Minister shows the technique that led to his injuries | Source

Phil's back or is it his front?


Thank goodness I’ve finally been able to get that bloody goat off my computer for once. I can’t begin to tell you the trouble that little scrub cutter has caused me lately.

Perhaps now some sanity can return to the world.

I read this week how a photographer who went missing in Requa, California washed up nearly 500 kilometres away in Oregon (literally). Yep this guy was just going down to the seaside to photograph the incoming Japanese tsunami (as you do) and  ... whallop; the wave from hell grabbed hold of his toes and dragged him off to the hazelnut state.

Kind of appropriate really for a nut who thought it a good idea to try and take macros of an advancing tidal wave. However rumour has it our intrepid flash Harry might be remembered by more than just a Darwin Award. At the time of writing, Guinness Book of World Records compilers are checking and double checking to see if this might be a new world record for continuous surfing without a board, (or a brain).

I also hear a rumour the Japanese Prime Minister has been hospitalised. Apparently he has strained his back from too much bowing. He is also rumoured to be morphing into a small green blob. But Japan’s large Asian neighbour, Indonesia has fronted up to help Mr Kan out of the can so to speak. They are willing to take all the excess nuclear waste that Japan can send their way. Their appropriately named deputy Sri Setiawati, who at one wati isn’t all that bright, says that out of the 10 ASEAN nations they are the most ready to build a nuclear power plant. And why not, I say. Just because you are seated in the Pacific Ring of Fire shouldn’t mean you can’t have your own nuclear accidents as well as anybody else. But exactly what makes them more suitable than the likes of such other free nations as Myanmar, Singapore, Lao PDR et al is unclear, unless it is the fact they have a potentially far larger child labour population they could indenture into the task of trying to recycle the free waste. Mr Kan has a team of oceanographers trying to work out how to divert the Pacific current so they can empty all that irradiated water straight into the drink and let nature take its course, thus saving even more money on freighting the stuff.  

Meanwhile Washington is worrying about all the CIA agents that are bailing from the agency to go and work in the private sector. But perhaps all is not as it seems. Given their track record for infiltrating organisations and countries that don’t want to be infiltrated maybe this is all just another massive CIA operation. Maybe these guys are actually still working for the agency and this is a just a way for them to get inside private corporations and keep a closer eye on normal everyday US citizens (if there are such people). I think this could be the beginning of the end. Expect to see former CIA agents taking up senior posts in the private sectors of allied countries very soon. I’m not sure they haven’t already got to that bloody goat, so I’d better eat this posting as soon as I put it up before he does and then ‘recycles’ it for them later.

I’m outta here. You haven’t seen me, okay?



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