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Piracy for Dummies – a bitter and dark rant
- "Face for the Radio" - The View inspred rant
Finally, you arrive at the venue and the radio booth is in front of you. You slowly make your way towards it, but he/she isn’t there. There is only one extremely fugly person there – extremely oversized; you can smell the bad odor emanating from him/
Don't you hate it when this happens to you?
You finally get the super speed internet connection at home, flat rate (naturally), and can’t wait to start enjoying full benefits of it.
The first weekend rolls around ,and thank God it’s raining outside, so you don’t have to feel guilty about spending it at home, in front of your laptop, doing nothing but fully exploiting your new best friend, Flatty, as you named the connection.
You watch streaming movies all day long, torrent your way into some good music you’ve been dying to own, but never had enough money to actually buy it (or you were just a cheapskate). You love every single minute of it.
And the story continues for months. You become the star of every party with your impressive music collection (superseded only by the ones of professional DJs). Every friend or colleague comes to you for movie advice, because you either have it already, or just saw it on some obscure pirate site.
However, after a year or so, the honeymoon period is over. Your life starts to crumble. One by one, streaming video sites are being shut down; torrent databases being sued by big corporations also start packing up.
Next thing you hear is a big *PAW*
Your doors are being torn down and hordes of special ops guys swarm the apartment. They confiscate all your IT equipment, paralyze even your telephone connection, and take you to jail. You are being charged for copyright violation (something), and are facing 3-10 in jail.
After a gruesome trial you start serving your sentence (5 years in the big house + lifelong ban of all internet connected activities).
In this increasingly high-tech world, you know what this means. After you finally get out, your life will be as good as over. No prospects of a good job, no more of the best pass time there is, and finally, no more of being the go-to-person for everything related to digital pastime.
And for what? - You ask yourself.
Was it worth it?
Countless pondering hours away, you finally give up on that issue, and find yourself starting a brand new “comic book dealership” in the slammer.
Once you come out, you have enough money and rep to transfer your new profession into a full time legit business.
You sign new authors, make your own stuff, copyright it, earn tons of money, and sue everyone how even dares to torrent it.
You never think of the irony of it all until one day, a bitter fan you milked every dime from runs you over with his truck.
I love irony & sarcasm
© 2010 Andrea