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Pirate Perdita and the Time Travelling Zombie Dinosaurs...from Space!
Pirate Perdita: Summary
Pirate Perdita: she's no one's damsel in distress.
Pirate Perdita and the Time Travelling Zombie Dinosaurs...from Space! is a juvenile fiction novel. It is written at a fourth grade reading level. It appropriate is for children, teens, and adults. There is no eating of any brains in this book. They aren't that type of zombies. Someone, however, may or may not get eaten in the story. Or stepped on. A dinosaur may or may not devour an unattended dinner. Sherlock Holmes himself may or may not show up within these pages. I refuse to give anything away. You'll just have to read to find out. Enter if you dare. Here there be dinosaurs.
Chapter 1: Run
Pirate Perdita and the Time Travelling Zombie Dinosaurs...from Space!
by Mir Foote
The zombie apocalypse arrived on a Tuesday. Nobody noticed. Nobody important anyway. There were no news stories, no fleeing humans, no armies marching down the streets. There was just a man standing on a street corner and holding up a sign.
The man was not remarkable. He was neither tall nor short. His hair was dark and neatly cut. His clothes were clean and fit him well; a white button up shirt and black pants. He wore a pair of dark sunglasses. He did not look like the sort of person who stood at street corners and held up signs. People stared at him. This wasn’t a large city. They weren’t used to strange men. They would read his sign and be confused. Sometimes they would turn their heads to look around. Mostly they decided to ignore him and go on their way.
Two blocks away, a boy was walking to school. This was not an unusual sight. Many eleven year old boys walked to school. A rather smaller number of those boys had coils of springy white hair that haloed their heads in wild abandon. And even fewer were five foot eight, as skinny as a rail, and struggling to carry both a violin case and a backpack weighing a bit more than he did. In fact, in the tiny town of Sanger there was only one such boy, and his name was Leander Jack.
Leander Jack, on this particular Tuesday, was walking very slowly. He did not want to go to school. He had a history test. If there was one thing that Leander Jack was bad at, it was history. Mr. Mason, the history teacher, just didn’t make sense. Mr. Mason did not like Leander Jack’s questions. When he taught them about Christopher Columbus discovering America, he taught them all a rhyme.
“In 1492, Columbus discovered a land that’s new. The pilgrims wanted a land of plenty, and the Mayflower came in 1620.”
“If it’s a new land, then how come there are people there?” Leander Jack asked, “How can you discover something new if someone else is there first?”
Leander Jack’s classmates all laughed. Mr. Mason told him not to be smart. When Mr. Mason taught them about kings and queens, Leander Jack had another question.
“Why are the women in history always burned or beheaded? Don’t they do anything besides die in interesting ways?” Mr. Mason gave him detention and made him write ‘I respect all girls and their place in history’ five hundred times.
On that Tuesday, the test was not over the Mayflower or kings. It was on the Civil War. Mr. Mason was very fond of dates and numbers, and Leander Jack was struggling to remember them all.
“In 1861, the confederate army shot a gun…in 1865 the union won for all alive.” Leander Jack mumbled to himself as he walked towards the school. The numbers swirled around in his head. He tried not to think about his questions. He wished that Mr. Mason explained more. Dates and numbers didn’t give Leander Jack a proper picture of the war. They didn’t have a soul to them, the way a story does.
Then Leander Jack walked around a corner and he saw the man standing on the street across from him. The man looked back. Leander Jack looked at his sign. And he forgot all about his history test and dates and numbers. The sign was addressed to him.
The zombies are among us. Look to your left.
Leander Jack stared at the sign. The sign holder stared back. Then Leander Jack looked to his left.
For a moment it was just a street. It looked like it always did; a row of neatly kept houses with mowed lawns and sometimes cars or bikes in the driveways. Then a red and purple car moved. It didn’t move like a car. It lurched, stepping away from the curb on four feet, with a frill where the windshield should be and two great long horns in the place of headlights. In fact, this was not a car at all. It was a dinosaur. A dinosaur walking down Oak Street on a perfectly ordinary Tuesday. A triceratops with great big horns and eyes that glowed green.
Leander Jack looked at the triceratops. Then he looked at the man holding the sign. The man smiled at him, and then flipped his sign around. Now it just said one word.
And then the smiling man gave him a friendly nod and vanished. Now there was no one standing on the street corner. And Leander Jack felt the ground shudder as the weight of something enormous approached.
Leander Jack dropped his violin. The dinosaur charged.
Roughly one block and seventy thousand millennia away, a shadowed figure watched from its perch atop a viciously toothed monstrosity. The vision of the boy running from the dinosaur was held in a glowing pool cast upon a cave wall. At the shadow’s side, a girl also watched. It was hard to say how old the girl was. She was short, but her eyes did not look like those of a very young child. She looked fearless, fierce and scowling. Her hair was long and black and tied up in a dozen tight braids. She was also wearing rather a lot of chains.
“And there goes your knight in shining armor!” the shadowed figure exclaimed with cruel mirth. “And who will there be to rescue you after I crush him?”
“Ha!” replied the girl, “I’m no one’s damsel in distress. I will rescue myself, thank you very much.” She did not look worried about Leander Jack.
“He’s just the first, Thief!” hissed the shadow, “Your father will be next.”
“I’m not a thief, I’m a pirate,” the girl answered, “And he isn’t my father. He’s my prisoner. I stole his ship.”
“Father or prisoner, boyfriend or knight, soon every pest will be gone!”
In the vision before them, the triceratops was gaining. The girl wasn’t scared. Not really. But maybe she was growing concerned. She didn’t need a knight in shining armor. But she didn’t like other people breaking things that were hers. And Leander Jack was hers. She had stolen him fair and square. Leander Jack just didn’t know it yet. Time travel was funny that way.
“I could stop it, you know,” the shadow said. They watched Leander Jack stumble, his heavy backpack throwing him off. “You know what she wants to know.”
“Steal your own Jewels,” the girl answered, still scowling fiercely. The dinosaur had trouble when Leander Jack changed streets, but in the end four legs will always run down two. Any second now, they would see the boy being speared, or trampled. The second came, the great horn piercing the backpack.
The girl did not close her eyes or look away. Her hands clinched.
There was a noise like ‘blip’.
And the dinosaur was alone, a backpack hanging off one horn and bits of a fence still clinging to one foot. Leander Jack was not dead. He was nowhere to be seen.
“What?!” cried the shadowed figure, a sound of pure fury. Lesser beings might have quaked at that roar. The many toothed monstrosity it sat upon shuddered beneath the shadow’s anger.
Perdita the pirate girl only smiled.
Chapter 2: Out of Time
Out of Time
Rewind five minutes.
Leander Jack ran.
The dinosaur followed. The ground quaked beneath its weight. It was gaining fast; Leander Jack did not have to look behind him to know that. Leander Jack was going to die on a perfectly ordinary Tuesday. He wished this was not true. He really wished he hadn’t spent all of the night before studying for his history test.
Then right in front of him, the man from the street corner flickered into existence. He had another sign.
The man flickered out of existence again. Leander Jack dodged right, dashed through an open gate, and ran across someone’s yard.
The dinosaur tried to follow. It didn’t fit through the gate. It pushed. The fence shattered around it. It ran on.
Leander Jack made it across the yard and climbed the chain-link fence on the other side. He jumped down just as he heard the wooden fence breaking behind him. He ran.
The dinosaur ran straight through the chain link fence. A bit of it got caught around its ankle and it paused, trying to shake it off. Then it ran again.
The man appeared before Leander Jack, this time with a sign saying ‘LEFT’. Leander Jack ran left. The dinosaur followed. Left was a dead end. Leander Jack thought he hated the man with the signs.
At the end of the alley, Leander Jack ran up to a brick wall and stopped. There was nowhere else to go. He was dead. He turned, holding up his backpack, as though it might work as a shield. The ground shuddered as the great beast charged.
The horn tore his backpack from his hand, and he stared right into its shining green eyes. Into his death. And from behind him, a hand reached through the solid brick wall, grabbed his shoulder, and pulled.
There was a sound like ‘blip’.
Leander Jack stumbled into a place that should not exist.
End of Excerpt.
Read the entire book!
Pirate Perdita: No one's damsel in distress.