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Plagued

Updated on September 13, 2016

Evoke


Dear Harrison,

I am writing you this letter simply because my mind is plagued with misfigured thoughts. It has been a while since we last spoke and I hope you will listen to me with no judgments just like you always did when I told you about mom and dad years ago. A lot has happened since.

I recently lost the two most important people in my life, and I know that you know that its not Mom and Dad. Their demise is too sudden for comfort. This is why I am writing you... when you lose someone of that gravity you learn a thing or two about life, it shakes you to the core that makes you question everything. The enormity of sadness the ripples in waves. I have always wondered why I think this way, when most people around me get on with their lives easily. How do you do that? Because it seems like I cannot move.. my mind is filled with unanswered questions, memories and bitterness.

As I stare to their graves, I can't help but feel angry to what they have left behind. I can't help but feel anger to those who are failing them now, I can't help but question what is the point of everything they earned all their lives and just have everyone fight about it when they pass? Mostly Harrison, I feel remorse, for not being better for them. They knew Harrison. That I was scarred, and they did everything to help me. I just wish I knew how short really life is, and I could have shown them what they wanted to see... but I know, they accepted me for the damaged goods I was and still am, after all, it was their fruit who did this to me.

Do you feel sad like this? I have too many words for what I am feeling. I want to be normal, Harrison. I want to get over it the same way they do. I want to lie to myself and trick myself to actually believe it. Maybe then, I'll have less words

Love,

Your long lost friend


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