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Pluck of the Dead
Are you listening?
So I have a slight problem. See, I found this spell book, and well… see this is rather embarrassing, but I was desperate.
I had been working on a paper on historical figures in literature, and thought, why not just ask the source. Bad idea, just so you know, it was a real bad idea. I used a spell book I found and there was a spell to bring anyone from the dead. Yeah, literally.
So, since this was my first attempt at using magic, or spell casting. I thought about someone that was known for their calm and reserve nature. So somehow my spell casting was, uh, bad. I really don't think my tongue was meant to speak Latin, which might be the reason why things went horribly wrong. Do you think Vlad Ţepeş sounds anything like William Shakespeare?
Yeah tell me about it, but the bad part is I don’t know what he was supposed to look like, because the spell never said. I will tell you he looked like something out of a horror flick. Yeah kind of like a zombie, but without the hunger for brains.
I really don’t feel like talking about the details of why I did it, okay? I just want to send Vlad back to being dead. Unfortunately after the initial shock, okay so I passed out, sue me! Like you wouldn’t.
Well, when I woke up, he was gone. Hey, at least before I passed out, I got his name. that might be the reason I passed out. He didn’t seem too pleased with me, but being dead since the late 1400’s I think can make anyone grumpy.
So, yeah, I am a bit worried what’s going to happen when he realizes that he is far from his time, and far from Romania. He was one of the most notorious rulers in history. Oh his real name is Vlad Dracul. I don’t think anyone, but you, would believe that I brought Dracula from the dead.
That’s why I called, you were always way better at Latin in school. Here’s the book.
What? NO! Bram Stoker was not a historian. Well, I guess you can get a little history from ‘Underworld’, but Corvinus, was the King of Hungry not the link… Oh, why am I telling you this? Just Wikipedia Vlad Ţepeş, or Vlad Dracul, but not now! Good grief! Put your phone away unless you think you can find him with it.
What? I don’t know where it came from. I didn’t think about it until after the zombie Vlad appeared grunting in Romanian. Yes, Transylvania is in Romania,…. Will you stop doing that!
You really need to brush up on your history, but you can do that later! Geez! Will you put that away! You are such a tech geek!
Wait! No, come back.
Oh! You just went to change, okay. So are you ready? Uh, why are you wearing that? You might scare him. Well, don’t take the hockey stick, okay? Don’t argue with me! People are going to stare—oh, I guess that is true, well that is if we find him, and are able to talk him into coming back here.
Hey, you don’t happen to speak Romanian do you?
Yeah I didn’t think so.
Do you think you will be able to read what it says?
Don’t! Don’t do it right now! At least wait until we are closer.
So who do you want to be?
Oh. I guess that means I will be Ted. You know it would be nice if we had a Rufus.