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Poem About A Farm (Although Not Old McDonald's...)

Updated on July 3, 2012

This Author

Mad as a hatter in a lead mine, John Crowley writes nonsense poetry for fun. To read another, click this link.

To search for something slightly more serious, you can check his copywriting website out here.

For all other John Crowley related queries, please contact a member of staff.

Or click here.

To enjoy this poem I would recommend you familiarise yourself with the popular children's shanty 'Old McDonald'

Poem About A Farm

Old mad Ronald had a farm...

...Eeee yikes eeee yikes woah!

And on that farm he had some (brace yourself)...

Ducks with trucks
Such trucks held books
And in those books
Were noisy rooks
Who cawed galore
With "nevermore"
To tease the ravens
On the door
The door through which
A rich green witch
Sat in a ditch
To sew and stitch
Day in day out
All stitch, no shout
No "blood of bat"
Escaped her pout
Though bats flew free
(Round just one tree)
Through day and night
Alive with glee
And on their backs
Were stacks of sacks
Within which rode
Four wolven packs
All fear no bite
Both day and night
Sat tight in fright
On bats in flight
And on the ground
Beneath the sound
Of wolves in sacks
On bats, was found
A timid monkey
Fairly chunky
Whisp'ring frets of
"Me kerplunky"
Right beside
A tiger cried
The words "He lied!
He could have tried!"
And right next door
Beneath the straw
A purple cow
Would lay and snore
Asleep? "Why, nay!"
(the cow would say
And hit the donkey
With a tray)
The donkey who
(So sure he knew)
Would chat in chicken
To the gnu
Who'd gently patter
Pass the chatter
To the turkeys
(Ever fatter)
Who'd get stuck
Just tut and cluck
And swallow, wallow
In the muck
Where mousy squeaks
Would prompt the shrieks
Of hens with Greeks
Upon their beaks
While rooster crowed
Then crossed the road
(Was run down, mowed
By speeding toad...)

But through all this
Chaotic bliss
Our old mad Ronald
Went to kiss
His love, his torch
Too hot to scorch...
The hairy camel
On his porch


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    • M K Paul profile image

      M K Paul 5 years ago from India

      Cute poem i must say :)

    • writeyourwrongs profile image

      John Crowley 5 years ago from Sheffield

      Thanks - I must say your comment probably tops one of the best too ;-)

    • Matthew Weese profile image

      Matthew Weese 5 years ago from Auburn

      This is one of the best poems I have had the pleasure to read. Great work.