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Poem About Being Pee Shy

Updated on July 10, 2012
Trouble at the toilet?
Trouble at the toilet?

Ever get shy when you're urinating in a public area?

I don't mean peeing in the street or taking a leak behind a tree..!

No, what I mean is when using a public toilet. If you've ever suffered from sanitary stage fright, then you might identify fairly well with this comical little poem.

Poem about being pee shy

I need to pee, I know I do

And so I head off for the loo

I stand up straight, unzip my fly...

But to my left is some big guy

I know I need it, know it's there

But can't release it. So not fair

It's not that he is scaring me...

It's just that I can't seem to pee!

I strain, and focus on the wall

But still no pee comes out at all

Another guy comes through the door

I want to sink into the floor

The first guy knows I've made no pool

I can't zip up, I'd look a fool

Every second brings more shame

Sanitary stage fright 'aint no game...


Love toilet humour? Love poetry? Love this!


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    • writeyourwrongs profile imageAUTHOR

      John Crowley 

      6 years ago from Sheffield

      You could be right...

    • cyoung35 profile image

      Chad Young 

      6 years ago from Corona, CA

      I think what would help is a target on the wall for you to focus your eyes on.

    • writeyourwrongs profile imageAUTHOR

      John Crowley 

      6 years ago from Sheffield

      I'm glad a woman is able to empathise!

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I feel your pain, I find it hard to use urinals too.

    • writeyourwrongs profile imageAUTHOR

      John Crowley 

      6 years ago from Sheffield

      It's funny, I kinda expected most comments to be from other men crawling out of their shells and confessing "Yes! I too have this problem!"

      But I seem to have attracted more ladies laughing at our predicament :-p

      Thanks for the comment.

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 

      6 years ago from Clinton CT

      Well I too cannot relate but had a good laugh! :)

    • writeyourwrongs profile imageAUTHOR

      John Crowley 

      6 years ago from Sheffield

      Pleased you enjoyed it!

    • writeyourwrongs profile imageAUTHOR

      John Crowley 

      6 years ago from Sheffield

      Wow... cubicles without doors exist? Yikes! That would make my wee problem (pun intended) a little bit worse!

    • DzyMsLizzy profile image

      Liz Elias 

      6 years ago from Oakley, CA

      Not being a guy, I cannot directly relate, but a related issue is having to use a public restroom where none of the latches on the stall doors work, AND the door is out of reach of holding it shut while using the 'throne.' Ack!

      Worse are restrooms at places like state beaches, where the powers that be have decided that to reduce vandalism, there will be no doors at all on the stalls. ..Nope...can't use those...would feel more privacy crouching behind a bush!

    • barbergirl28 profile image

      Stacy Harris 

      6 years ago from Hemet, Ca

      This is too funny... I can't relate exactly because I don't have to worry about using urinals... however, I do hate public restrooms. I just don't want to have anyone hear me pee! Love it! Super funny! Thanks for the laugh!

    • writeyourwrongs profile imageAUTHOR

      John Crowley 

      6 years ago from Sheffield

      Cheers SkySlave - I think it's something most men try to hide but many men have suffered!

    • SkySlave profile image

      Skyler DeCristoforo 

      6 years ago from Olympia, WA

      That gave me a good laugh. I've suffered from this issue before and i agree that it is no fun. At lest i know im not alone on this one. Voted up for funny!


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