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Poem - Even My Shadow Has Left Me

Updated on December 22, 2010
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Without fanfare
It has come to this
I am alone
Even in the light of day
My own shadow has run
Away
From me
Its mate
Its source
Of life
What depth
Can be plumbed
Where despair
Can thrive
Where answers
Go to die
Where doom
Is afraid
To speak
Where gloom
Is cut
On its own blade
Where the only true companion
Nature's signature
Refuses to lay
Even when I beg
The sun to burn through me
And deliver the light
That will color my back
The only shade worthy
Of my plight
It will not be delivered
By day
Or night
What irony of pain
Exerts itself
Where darkness
Is denied
Refusing to join
Refusing to listen
Only willing to abandon
Completely
Because
It knows
I must go alone
Because
It was my mistake
Because
I was wrong
So wrong
I can do nothing right
Not even make a shadow
In the light




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    • The Suburban Poet profile image
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      The Suburban Poet 4 years ago from Austin, Texas

      Thank you Valleypoet. I appreciate your comment very much!

    • profile image

      Valleypoet 4 years ago

      A very powerfully delivered piece, great work my friend:-))

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      Being oneself is what counts, more than being-something! Others perceive us as they will and that becomes our public persona perhaps. But still & always, what matters is simply being, which is a continuum, not a fixed destination anyway.

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 4 years ago from Austin, Texas

      Hi Nellieanna... thank you for all your kind words and it is a nice feeling that anything I could have produced would make you think of a poet such as Stevenson. His depiction of his shadow is very playful while mine is despairing as you correctly described. I don't even remember why I wrote it but I'm glad you reminded me of it. I think most things I write are graphic; it's my style but really it's more just what I know to say. I don't try to be anything... I think and feel and start on a path and it usually never ends where I thought it would. I think I was happy with this one when I finished; ironic given that it was about loss and unhappiness....

      As for being a genius that is definitely not something to which I can relate because most times I feel I'm still missing something in the things that I write. But maybe that reaching for something is the key.

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 4 years ago from TEXAS

      What a vivid picture of despair! The ultimate desertion would be by one's shadow!

      You write it succinctly - so much so, the reader feels the sense of hopelessness. It's a unique inspiration. As a kid, this was my favorite poem:

      MY SHADOW

      BY ROBERT LOUIS STEVENSON

      I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me,

      And what can be the use of him is more than I can see.

      He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;

      And I see him jump before me, when I jump into my bed.

      The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow—

      Not at all like proper children, which is always very slow;

      For he sometimes shoots up taller like an india-rubber ball,

      And he sometimes gets so little that there's none of him at all. (So-o-o- it can be temporary, Mark!)

      He hasn't got a notion of how children ought to play,

      And can only make a fool of me in every sort of way.

      He stays so close beside me, he's a coward you can see;

      I'd think shame to stick to nursie as that shadow sticks to me!

      One morning, very early, before the sun was up,

      I rose and found the shining dew on every buttercup;

      But my lazy little shadow, like an arrant sleepy-head,

      Had stayed at home behind me and was fast asleep in bed.

      I've always felt a comforting connection with my own shadow and other kinds of shadows, which help define the difference of light and darkness. To lose that connection would be like losing part of myself. So your poem is fiercely graphic for me, Mark.

      ps - genius is others' perception, not one's own! :-)

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
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      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Amy - well I laughed when I read you comment... I don't feel like that is what I am... I just know that I hsve discovered a love for writing poems and when you really love it and have time for it then you can do well...

    • AmyTaylor profile image

      AmyTaylor 6 years ago

      did i mention your a genius?

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Marina - thank you for saying that! You make me very happy...

    • profile image

      Marina Lester 6 years ago

      Awesome poem with a dazzling finish! "So wrong

      I can do nothing right

      Not even make a shadow

      In the light"

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @abradfor55 - thank you for the comment... just trying to take life and see it from as many different perspectives as possible because we are all so different yet share the same problems... the variety of commentary is an attempt to empathize...

    • abradford55 profile image

      Adam Bradford 6 years ago from Howell,MI

      Love your poems, very interesting and thoughtful.

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @imatellmuva - you should post them regardless of length or tone... they are what they are....if you want you should look at nellieanna's hubs... she posts several at a time...

    • imatellmuva profile image

      imatellmuva 6 years ago from Somewhere in Baltimore

      I haven't. The poem is really short, I have others that are all short too. I was thinking of posting my short poems, but haven't decided. Once I read them all, and I think I was sad, but I didn't feel sad. All of my poetic writing is dark.

      Some of my writing is only a few lines, so I have to consider how I would display them all in one hub.

      *...I'm glad you liked the excerpt!!*

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @imatellmuva - thank you very much for being so nice. I like that excerpt... have you posted it? If not I think you should... those two lines stand on their own and show how down a person can be...

    • imatellmuva profile image

      imatellmuva 6 years ago from Somewhere in Baltimore

      This poem reminds me of a poem I once wrote, here's an excerpt, "...I reached out, and there's nothing there, only space. I reached again, and the space has moved."

      The Suburban Poet= Pure AWESOMENESS!!!!!

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Micky - thanks for reading my stuff man... i think we've all had those days when we can't tie our shoes or make a shadow...

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 6 years ago

      What a dark day!

      Even my shadow ran away.

      And as I walk my last steps into the night,

      I can't make a shadow in that bright light!

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Cheyenne - yeah at least the protagonist can admit fault but it took a disapproving part of his own life to figure that out...

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @always - yeah hopefully your shadow is forgiving... thank you.

    • CheyenneAutumn profile image

      CheyenneAutumn 6 years ago

      The harsh light of our own eye. The knowing of just how alone we really are. Indeed only the shadow knows. I like this one Poet. Who has not been where the shadow will not go - that level so low....

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 6 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I like this!!

      When your shadow leaves and you're left all alone

      The thought chills me right down to the bone

      The sun will shine again,another day

      Your shadow will return,

      And send you a beautiful ray

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @goody - thank you and I read your poem and commented... good funny stuff...

    • goody7 profile image

      goody7 6 years ago from over there under the sycamore tree

      You really do have a lot of poems, and they are all good. I voted this poem up for you. When you get a chance check out my beer poem. It should really brighten up your day.

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Laurie - thank you. Yeah this is a self-loathing piece and it can be about something only you and your shadow know about...

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
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      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @mythbuster - thank you for your comment; titles seem to be their own challenge... almost more difficult than the piece itself...

    • LaurieDawn profile image

      LaurieDawn 6 years ago

      And sometimes no one knows but the shadows of our own dark recesses.

      Splendid!

      Blessings,

      Laurie

    • mythbuster profile image

      mythbuster 6 years ago from Utopia, Oz, You Decide

      I'm sure I like the title of this poem as much as the poem itself! Awesome. Thanks for sharing!

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Rhonda - thank you for the Christmas wishes... yeah that's a good one; "me and my shadow" but I went the other way... I'm happy... thanks for caring....

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @puresilence - Nah... I guess I just think about it constantly... maybe obsessed is a better word but at this time in my life I am going with the flow... this poem was somewhat inspired by personal events and by a painting I was viewing by Salvadore Dali... I was looking at his use of shadows and comparing the shadow to the object and noticed how technical he was even in a wildly creative piece. Then I thought "what if the shadow refused to obey?"

    • Rhonda Waits profile image

      Rhonda Musch 6 years ago from The Emerald Coast

      Wow. This was pretty deep. Kinda sad I hope that your shadow returns to you. Sometimes all we have is our shadow. Be happy. Have a very Merry Christmas. Keep writing I enjoy your poems.

    • puresilence profile image

      puresilence 6 years ago from New Delhi

      The Suburban Poet - Are you a poem machine? And despite you write so much all your poems are equally amazingly beautiful. Keep penning.

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Erin - thank you for the heartfelt comments and your understanding of what I say... and happy holidays to you too... it is funny on this hub... there will be a happy one soon I'm sure...

    • Erin LeFey profile image

      Erin LeFey 6 years ago from Maryland

      I really liked this one. At first I was thinking of a passing "aloneness", like flirting with depression. But then something in the middle struck me deeper, as usually happens with your poetry, by the way. For some reason your words create an image that just grows and grows the more it flows. And by the end of the piece, you had me thinking that what occurred here was something so shameful and a deed that held such remorse (as you mentioned in comments) that it had me thinking of a prisoner in solitary confinement. So I went from a passing depression to the solitude of a confinement inflicted by guilt or shame. Very powerful stuff SP. Rated you up and beautiful. Happy Holidays! (Seems weird to say that on this hub :) )

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Vern - thank you for that remark.... it's like your shadow drops an F-bomb on you and says I'm out of here...

    • vrbmft profile image

      Vernon Bradley 6 years ago from Yucaipa, California

      Hi Suburban Poet. I really like the image of being so alone that even your shadow abandons you, but it was initially disconcerting, like, no one can be that alone!!! But then I read your comment and I really like that image of doing something so shameful that your shadow even bows out. Wow, I like that. I like the rhythm and the flow, Sub. Thanks for continueing to give us poetry to savor.

      Vern

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
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      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Azure_sky - thank you... yeah... woe and sorrow... a down moment where there is nobody to comfort you because you don't deserve it... sometimes you have to own it....

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
      Author

      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      @Amy - thank you for the support... I'm ok but sometimes you hurt someone or do something that causes shame and maybe even your shadow says "you're on your own on this one..."

    • azure_sky profile image

      azure_sky 6 years ago from Somewhere on the Beach, if I am lucky :)

      Pretty deep...full of woe and sorrow. Beautifully worded, this will hit to the very core of many people.

    • AmyTaylor profile image

      AmyTaylor 6 years ago

      a poem after my own heart. I must say I do relate to poetry about depression more so than that of happiness and love...so sorry you must feel this my friend but you wont ever know the poeple you help when they read such work...knowing deep down, no one is ever really alone in their feelings

    • The Suburban Poet profile image
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      The Suburban Poet 6 years ago from Austin, Texas

      Thanks Will - there's no need for envy... people envy your abilities... we should all just enjoy what we do...

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      True solitude.

      Well done.

      I envy poets.