Poem: A Journey to the land of Nod
'Where are you taking me?' slurred I.
The blurry figure swayed and sighed
above me as I daz-ed sat,
upon what was probably my doormat,
The figure mumbled hocus-pocus,
I slipped and head-butted my ford focus.
Mystic forces dragged me standing,
en route I threw up on the landing.
How was I in the bathroom so soon?
Face to the mirror I tried to groom.
I couldn't remember getting there,
and vaguely noticed I was bare...
A hidden hand thrust mightily.
I fell in the tub like a wounded tree.
Then screamed wildly thrashing 'bout
against the tiles like a drowning trout.
I was in the bathtub! Where were my clothes?!
And who was in charge of that damnable hose?
That jet of ice cold horrid water,
I lunged and but for spray I'd've caught her!
Eventually the torrent ceased
and from my drench-ed pris'n released,
I clambered shivering with the cold,
my knee was aching, dear God I felt old!
Twas then as the worst of my drink haze departed
I saw where I was and sighed, down-hearted.
My cognizance returning now,
I turned my eyes upon my wife,
Her eyes said, gazing sternly now,
'Be thankful I didn't use a knife!'
Shaking wearily her head
my wife with finger outstretched said
'Go on with you now, off to bed!
If not I'll bloomin' kill you dead!'
I hung my head, gave thanks to God,
crawled safe into the land of nod...
Links to other silly poems by me...
- A nonsense poem: The love of Orpius was Joysome
A romantic nonsense poem about how two monsters met and fell in love.
- Poem: The Birthday of the Bell Boy's Mum
A silly poem I wrote a while back. I have a number of silly poems... I believe it is time to inflict them upon the world (Grins maniacally).
- Poem: Nine in the Morning Mental ramble on a Christmas theme
A poem inspired by a cold office morning in the lead up to Christmas
- A trio of lymericks on the theme of birthdays
I was wrapping presents for a birthday one year and these three little limericks popped into existence. Enjoy.