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Poem: One Day at a Time

Updated on November 14, 2020
Brenda Arledge profile image

I am a writer. My passion is poetry. I feel words connect people together and help us to understand the feelings we share.

They Were Like Newlyweds

My mother and her husband were still like newlyweds when his illness began. They were married in August of 2013.

Fast forward to today November 2020 and he has been in the nursing home since May 2020.

It is heartbreaking enough for this terrible disease to take over his mind but with Covid-19 it puts a whole new spin on everything.

At first there were no visits allowed. Now they offer a fifteen minute visit which has been outside except for two of them.

But the visits leave my mother hurt and upset for he usually doesn't know who she is during that short time.

I have hoped they would make an exception and let her visits on his good days, but they have a set policy for a specific day of the week to allow visitation.

The following poem was written by mother, Joyce Spradlin, on the days before he was admitted to the nursing home.

Poem Summary

One day at a time is about trying to understand Alzheimer's and the effect it is having on his loved one. Wishing to have a conversation where they both understand the meaning. Instead of nodding in agreement with no idea of what he is talking about at the time. Taking one day at a time.

"Blank Stares" by Jay Allen

Written by Joyce Arledge Spradlin, my mother

This is written by Joyce Arledge Spradlin, my mother.

Her husband has Alzheimer's. She is dealing with the pain and effects of this disease every day.

Source

"One Day At A Time"

A conversation that isn’t,
your mind is so confused,
I nod, not knowing
anything you are talking about.

Hold on honey, I am trying
one day at a time,
but what will tomorrow bring?
I’m not sure I want to know.

Stay with me
don’t give in to this mean disease,
I want to talk again,
to have a conversation
we both understand.

We’ve both been trying to hold on
one day at a time,
but it’s winning,
we need more time.


©️Joyce Arledge Spradlin 2020

Permission to use granted to Brenda Arledge.

"Remember Me" by Chris Mann

© 2020 BRENDA ARLEDGE

Comments

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    • Brenda Arledge profile imageAUTHOR

      BRENDA ARLEDGE 

      11 months ago from Washington Court House

      Peachy,

      Thank you.

      I will let her know.

      She is facing a whole new set of feelings now because she had to put him into nursing home care.

      This is especially difficult right now since no visitors are allowed inside.

      Thanks for reading.

      Have a great day.

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 

      11 months ago from Home Sweet Home

      oh such a beautiful poem your mom had created. So touching. My mom has stroke and partial dementia. My dad is facing the same feeling as your mom did.

    • Brenda Arledge profile imageAUTHOR

      BRENDA ARLEDGE 

      12 months ago from Washington Court House

      Ann,

      Thank you.

      Yes. I wish we could visit to make sure, but right now that isn't an option.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 

      12 months ago from SW England

      Yes, I agree, they are all very expensive. I hope that they treat him well and with all the care he deserves

      Ann

    • Brenda Arledge profile imageAUTHOR

      BRENDA ARLEDGE 

      12 months ago from Washington Court House

      Ann,

      Thank you.

      It has been quite a week, as she had to place him in a nursing home this week.

      The paperwork alone is ungodly.

      I cannot believe they basically take everything away from you to live in a place where you probably don't get that great of care.

      I mean....for the cost...one should be treated like Royalty.

      Thanks for reading

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 

      12 months ago from SW England

      This pulls at the heart strings. It's so difficult to watch someone you used to know slowly disappear. I fee for you and for your mother who has written this so well.

      Ann

    • Brenda Arledge profile imageAUTHOR

      BRENDA ARLEDGE 

      12 months ago from Washington Court House

      Ms. Dora,

      Thank you so much.

      I am sending her a link so she can read comments.

      Have a great day.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      12 months ago from The Caribbean

      I cared for my mother, an Alz victim. I can identify with the dread of watching the disease win. Great poem by your mom.

    • Brenda Arledge profile imageAUTHOR

      BRENDA ARLEDGE 

      12 months ago from Washington Court House

      Mitara,

      Thank you for reading.

      Alzheimer's is a rough journey for everyone involved.

      It is definitely one disease that needs to be cured.

    • MitaraN profile image

      Mitara N 

      12 months ago from South Africa

      Powerful piece Brenda, a wish for at least one meaningful conversation. Having to assist someone with Alzheimer's is a difficult journey, lest we strive for maybe it could one day be cured.

      Take care, keep well and be safe

    • Brenda Arledge profile imageAUTHOR

      BRENDA ARLEDGE 

      12 months ago from Washington Court House

      Ruby,

      It is sad.

      I wish there would be a cure for this disease strips one of himself.

      Sometimes I think they are afraid to find a cure for diseases because they would lose funding, but surely not for this one.

      It is just too sad and tragic.

    • Brenda Arledge profile imageAUTHOR

      BRENDA ARLEDGE 

      12 months ago from Washington Court House

      Clive,

      Earth is part of everything in life.

      Thank you.

    • Brenda Arledge profile imageAUTHOR

      BRENDA ARLEDGE 

      12 months ago from Washington Court House

      Lorna,

      Thank you.

      This is truly how she feels and it is heartbreaking each day to hear her voice being overwhelmed with facing this disease.

      This time with coronavirus is not making it easy for her.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 

      12 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Oh, this is so sad. I had a dear friend who had Alzheimer's Disease. Why can't they find a cure?

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 

      12 months ago from Jamaica

      The earth is our healing.

    • Lorna Lamon profile image

      Lorna Lamon 

      12 months ago

      This disease is so cruel, particularly so for those who care for their loved one. I watched my dad disappear a little more each day and it is truly heartbreaking. Your mother's poem perfectly describes these feelings of hopelessness and needing more time. Taking one day at a time and living in those moments is so important. A beautiful and poignant write.

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