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Blood crusted fingernails chase this itch unsatisfied
Replacing sensation with desperation
Overcome with burning hunger as I try
With contemplative action do I lose life or gain vision
Do I sacrifice self
or risk perceived content?
Is it honesty?
What is honesty?
Has this honesty been eclipsed by fear?
Or in truth is it fear of cowardice that fuels indecision.
Exhausted and tired of rumination
This voice unreasoned will seemingly not cease,
Confused and tormented I look upward
Trying desperately to surrender my voice
For Your guidance
Still struggling to hold arms open
Living still in this deep dark place
Determined not to surrender
not to give up
not to remain in hell
but to move forward
Onward with His power