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Polish Jokes 2

Updated on February 18, 2015

My favourite jokes about polish people.:D:D:D::D

@@@ What is the famous slogan of tourism sector in Poland?

"Come to Poland - Your car is already there."

@@@ Stolen today - tomorrow is in Poland!

@@@ What is a pole with no hands?

A person who you can trust.

@@@ What's in Poland "triathlon"?

Walk to the lake, swim and ride my bike home

@@@ - What is written on the bottom of a coke can in Poland?:- Open from the other side.

@@@ Does anyone know a short sentence with 4 lies?

"Honest and sober Pole with own car is looking for a job."

@@@ Never laugh, when a Pole moves with the car into a tree!

It could be your own car...

@@@ What happens when you connect a Russian and a Pole?

the child too drunk to steal

@@@ Why are the Russians in Germany stealing everything twice?

They need to go back through Poland.

@@@ Two cannibals have a Pole on a barbecue spit.

Says one: "Turn a little slower, otherwise he is not crispy at all!"

"Impossible," replies the other, "when I ask him to slowly turn around, he steals my coals!"

@@@ What do you call a Polish man with only one arm?

one-hand bandit.

@@@In a large car ride 3 Poles. Who drives?

- Policeman!

@@@What is good in cold weather?

- Poles hold their hands in their pockets?

@@@ David Copperfield had to cancel his tour in Poland, because he could not even sell half of the tickets.

The poles are just used to having things disappear ...

@@@ When is Christmas in Poland?

2 days after a day when Germans will get a gifts.

@@@ @@@-What is the first lesson in polish driving school?

- How to open a car with a handle.

@@@Today, 7 out of 10 Poles living in stress, and the remaining 3 in Chicago.

@@@What does the Japanese when it wants to get a raise?

- Works even better than before.

And what does the Pole, when he wants to get a raise?

- strike

@@@How do I know that in Germany is to many Poles?

- Gypsies insure their homes ...

@@@ - Two Poles are talking about their friend who immigrated to America. "Did you hear about Bartek? He opened up a jewellery store after just one year in America!" "How did he do that?" "With a crowbar."

@@@ Why Polish people do not use ice cubes?

They do not know the recipe

@@@When Pole throws a grenade at you - do not panic! Grab the grenade, pull the pin and throw it back.


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      Giorgio 3 years ago

      What is the famous German slogan of tourism in Poland?

      "Come for holidays to Germany - your grandparents gold teeth, jewellery and paintings are already there!"

    • profile image

      Alek 4 years ago

      Hi I am Polish and those jokes make me laugh a lot :)

      However some of these we use when talking about other nations ;)

      Take care!

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      TerriTerri 4 years ago

      I'm in my early 50s and grew up hearing these insults. They aren't 'jokes', they're insults told my ignorant Americans who can only speak one language, know nothing of culture and parrot whatever they hear on their idiot boxes- the TV. I'm glad that era is over, but it made me hate a lot of Americans.

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      Ania22 4 years ago

      I am Polish and I find these stupid jokes very offensive.

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      gosh 5 years ago

      if u are polish and u laught at those jokes than u stupid!

    • profile image

      charlie 5 years ago

      well actually , polish people are laughing at everybody else and they can't see how stupid they are. I hope some of them will realize what other nations think about us reading these jokes. I am Polish, and I quite enjoyed reading some of them.

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      Jessica M. 5 years ago

      Im not polish but I don't find it funny rather offensive... it is completely stupid that you repeat jokes after germans like a parrot I think without understanding actually what are you talking about...

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      MyBetterLife 6 years ago from Rotterdam

      I am also Polak and I do like to make laugh at my brothers like Ignacy Krasicki did more than 200 years ago ;D;D

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      Tiecie 6 years ago

      I don't think that types of jokes that are offending people are funny, it's like a Polak (which is a proper name for polish man, not Pole) stood in front of you and made jokes about your country, "Duh, these english dudes are so dumb, they can't even drive a car" or "Jesus these americans are just fat pigs". Wouldn't be nice, wouldn't it? The same with blonde jokes, they are not all stupid! And again, I'm offended by this STEREOTYPE, cause I'm polish, and I know most of us don't steal!