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Politically Incorrect Limericks on Politics and Religion

Updated on October 15, 2016
Jodah profile image

John has been writing poetry since his school days. He was awarded "Poet of the Year 2014" Hubby Awards and has had two poems become songs.

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WARNING!

This hub contains religious and political parodies. If you are sensitive to these issues please read no further as it could be dangerous to your health.

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A Vacancy in Heaven

A young Parish Priest Father Mason

Was much loved by his congregation.

He prayed to the Lord

For free room and board,

Now in Heaven he has a reservation.

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Hot Head

Former British Prime Minister Blair

Had a toupee instead if real hair.

His wig caught on fire

At a site in Yorkshire,

Leaving Tony Blair's head red and bare.

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Prayerful Parrot

There was an old lady named Birch

Who took her pet parrot to church.

It prayed and it sang

Til her mobile phone rang,

And her parrot fell off of it's perch.

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Obama the Farmer

President Barack Obama

Once wanted to work as a farmer.

He once drove a tractor

Which wasn't a factor,

In planning to wipe out Osama.

photo by Igor Siwanowicz’s
photo by Igor Siwanowicz’s | Source

Goth Moth

A young girl who dressed as a goth

Was tormented by a giant moth.

She sought exorcism

But copped some derision

By a stuffy old man of the cloth.

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Phony Rabbit

A senator called Tony Abbott

Australia's top job he did grab it.

He became our Prime Minister

Which I find very sinister.

I prefer to call him Phony Rabbit.

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Good God!

The Lord God looked down from above

Hoping to see kindness and love.

What he saw made him sad,

Man was greedy and bad.

He'd messed up, when push came to shove.

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The Queen of Jive

The Head of Great Britain, the Queen

At home she can sometimes be seen,

Dancing the jive

With Elton at five,

For Prince Phillip just isn't so keen.


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Ten Under Pastor

A generous doctor named Lincoln

Tithed 10 percent of his income

To a pastor named Rolf

With whom he played golf.

You could say he was paying to sink 'em.

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Power Tools

Politicians are power hungry ghouls,

Often treating the people like fools.

though when protests are mounted,

And all votes are counted,

It's then we see who are the tools.

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Highest Office

A young politician named Pope

To become President was his hope.

When he was selected,

And finally elected,

The leader was both President and Pope.

Trumped Up

There was a rich man named Trump

Who needed a rather hard thump,

His Presidential rival

Was a Clinton revival,

And also an annoying old grump.

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    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hey, Chitrangada. Thank you for that comment. I have just added a Trump vs Clinton Limerick at the end..I thought it appropriate with the US election looming.

    • ChitrangadaSharan profile image

      Chitrangada Sharan 11 months ago from New Delhi, India

      Interesting and witty Limericks and you did a wonderful job!

      I agree Politics and Religion are the most discussed topics and everyone has an opinion about them.

      Humour is a good way to express our political or religious views in a clever way. You express your views and it doesn't offend anyone as well.

      Thanks for the smile with this well written hub!

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Hi Shanmarie. This had become defeatured so I thought I would update and reshare for anyone who missed it before. Thanks for checking it out. Glad you found these limericks worth a laugh.

    • shanmarie profile image

      shanmarie 11 months ago

      Just saw this in the feed. I guess I missed it when you published it because I don't remember them. Hilarious!

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 11 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks for revisiting, Ruby. I need to add a new one about Trump and Clinton. Glad you got a laugh.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 11 months ago from Southern Illinois

      I'm glad you shared this again. I needed a laugh in this crazy political season. I hope President Obama will retire on a farm and forget the woes he's had to endure these past eight years. I loved this...

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Hi Diana, scansion mansion :) ...yeah a couple may have been on the verge, but hey, it's all for fun. Thanks for reading and your comment.

    • Diana Grant profile image

      Diana Grant 2 years ago from London

      Great ideas - good fun, albeit some of the scansion was a bit iffy. ....but the rest was fine!

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you Sunshine, glad these gave you a laugh.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 2 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Hilarious limericks! Way to go, John! :)

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you Don, glad you like these and I do think there is more truth in them then is immediately evident. The world is indeed a little distorted.

    • dahoglund profile image

      Don A. Hoglund 2 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      I like your limericks. It is an art form that sort of points out that the world we see is maybe just a bit distorted.

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks Kim, glad I could help cheer you up. Take care my friend. Hugs.

      John

    • ocfireflies profile image

      ocfireflies 2 years ago from North Carolina

      How I needed this hub today. Thanks for making me smile. While I loved the all, the last one is my fave. Thanks for being you and voted up/shared as always.

      Blessings,

      Kim

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Another weird comment from guest users today.that doesn't relate..whatever, I do like test cricket and One Day Cricket much better than T20.

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Another of a handful of weird comments from guest users today....totally irrelevant to the hub topic.

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      Jimmy 2 years ago

      I suppose bseuace it’s the longest, more established form of the game and has been around longer than ODI and T20 cricket. So Test cricket is prevalent in the consciousness of the wider, general, audience as the form that has more of a classical sensibility about it, what with the insistence on the white uniforms, the rules, the tea break (the only sport to have such a thing) and the long standing competition between certain nations etc. There are customs to it that just don't exist with the other forms.And it hasn’t changed all that much over the years in terms of revisions and innovations to the rules either (well not as much as other forms of the game anyway I don’t think). Well until relatively recently that is.Therefore people think of it as the traditional form.I'm sure there are better reasons out there than that though, I'm just guessing.

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks Kim, I love using humour an I feel it is often a more effective though more subtle way of getting a message across. Glad you found these funny.

    • klidstone1970 profile image

      இڿڰۣ-- кιмвєяℓєу 2 years ago from Niagara Region, Canada

      Humour is a powerful tool. It should be used more often. This was quite enjoyable, John. Funny stuff!

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks for reading Petenali. Yes, limericks do have a little flexibility in their format but some people stretch that to the limit. I try not to deviate too far but the humour has to be there for it to work.

    • petenali profile image

      Pete 2 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Some good limericks here for sure with clever satire included. Nice to see someone mostly employing the correct format for limericks. Enjoyed the read and chuckle.

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks for reading Jamie, glad you enjoyed, especially the last one about politicians.

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you Jo. Glad these gave you a laugh, pity it was in the library...and what's up with that librarian, doesn't she have a sense of humour.. :) ?

      Thanks for voting up and sharing too.

    • jhamann profile image

      Jamie Lee Hamann 2 years ago from Reno NV

      I love the last one! It is always a pleasure to read your limericks. Jamie

    • Jo_Goldsmith11 profile image

      Jo_Goldsmith11 2 years ago

      Jodah!

      You have done it again my friend! Your originality is awesome! I absolutely loved this and was laughing the whole time, I was hushed by the librarian! Great job! Had to share this and fb + tweet.

      Up she goes....voted across the board. Blessings my funny friend! :-)

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you Nell. Glad these gave you a laugh. I don't think Tony Blair really wears a toupee but the Queen has jived with Elton John. :)

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      lol! very funny stuff! thanks for making me laugh, and I loved the photos to go with the limericks too! nell

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you Gypsy. I wasn't sure about taking on religion and politics but glad it worked.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 2 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      voted up and awesome Religion can be a touchy subject but your amusing hub has passed with flying colors. passing this on.

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Hey love that one gloriousconfusion never even thought of the Daai Lhama. Thank you for that and the follow.much appreciated.

    • Gloriousconfusion profile image

      Diana Grant 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      I liked best your one on Obama

      How about one on the Dalai Lhama?

      Mention China/Tibet

      And the pact they could get,

      And see if it brings on some Kharma

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thank you DDE, yes I try to find appropriate photos to enhance the text in a hub. Glad you enjoyed.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Wow! The photos are so beautifully placed and resembles each word you mentioned. Voted up, beautiful, interesting and useful.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      I enjoy it too Frank, and writing these limericks is fun.

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks Jackie, glad you enjoyed the limericks and Abba's Dancing Queen.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      I enjoy the lighter side of life.. and your limericks brings it to the forefront :)

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Great fun read and enjoying being the Dancing Queen again for just a few minutes! ^+

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks so much MsDora...glad you enjoyed.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      The Queen of Jive is my favorite, but you did a god job all round. Thanks for sharing more of your limerick side.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      The Queen of Jive is my favorite, but you did a god job all round. Thanks for sharing more of your limerick side.

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Always glad to give a laugh Ruby. I need to break up,the darker writing I've been doing lately with some light-hearted stuff. I think I have a few more limericks in me yet.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks Kathy, I appreciate you visit and so glad you found these limericks funny.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks Eric, I wasn't sure how these would be taken. Thanks for putting my mind to rest. We certainly do need to be able to laugh at ourselves.

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Yes I am Shauna, don't think I've done that before. I had the limericks ready to go bar images, then wrote the love poem hub...and well it all came together. Thanks for giggling at these.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      OMG, I can't stop laughing. You are so good at this. Obama the farmer.Hee. More PLEASE!

    • KathyMcGraw2 profile image

      Kathy McGraw 2 years ago from California

      This was a good distraction and pretty funny. My favorite was the Prayerful Parrot, but then again I liked the Vacancy in Heaven :)

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Politics and Religion -- what better fodder for a great limerick writing comedian. If I cannot laugh at my own politics and religion then I have no business having them. And you can quote that.

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 2 years ago from Central Florida

      Wow, two in one day! You're on a roll, John. Thanx for the giggles!

    • Jodah profile image
      Author

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks Jaye, glad you found these both funny and true. Appreciate the vote up too.

    • JayeWisdom profile image

      Jaye Denman 2 years ago from Deep South, USA

      Funny and laced with more than a little truth! Power Tools, for example, really tells it like it is. Voted Up++

      Jaye

    • Jodah profile image
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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Thanks for being the first to read and comment on these questionable limericks Bill. Glad you found them funny. You have a great weekend too.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      You are a brave man, writing limericks about religion...you are also a funny man. :) Have a great weekend my friend.