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Post-Birthday Blues

Updated on January 7, 2016
My mind keeps plunging on unwanted thoughts.
My mind keeps plunging on unwanted thoughts. | Source

How to not despair?
Alone in this unlit room upstairs
Windows closed on a bright sunny day
Emotions coming as memories play

How to feel okay?
If my mind keeps plunging on unwanted thoughts
Remembering scenes from not long ago
Every single rejection in replay

Your old teacher once asked the class if that day was anyone's
It was yours.
But you were too shy to tell everyone
Thinking you weren't special enough to be recognized
Your old friends proved you right
They didn't remember either.

You didn't know it then but you would be spending a lot more birthdays like that
The 16th, the 17th, the 18th - they all went by unnoticed
On your 19th you saw an old friend
She didn't remember either.
Your companions even asked you about her - not you -
She was the only one who caught people's attention

One of your closer friends greeted an acquaintance with a photo edited especially for him
An effort you didn't experience on your own day

And it hurts.

It hurts as hell.

How do you not feel sad?
This is everyday of my life
I'm not sure I even want it anymore.

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    • Jonas Rodrigo profile imageAUTHOR

      Jonas Rodrigo 

      3 years ago

      It is sad, peachy. But thanks for stopping by.

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 

      3 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      sad but true, that is the way life goes

    • Jonas Rodrigo profile imageAUTHOR

      Jonas Rodrigo 

      3 years ago

      Missy, your words are very kind. I've thought about this and yes, I partly agree with your ideas about shy people. However, I think there is something wrong when everyone is like that. I'm not really blaming anyone, it's just sad because that's the way it is.

    • Missy Smith profile image

      Missy Smith 

      3 years ago from Florida

      I agree with Jodah, the pain was very evident in your words. I think a lot of shy and introverted people feel left out a lot. I know I do. Sadly, I don't even believe it's the ones who forget our special days fault. We never speak up, and it's hard to assume with so many birthdays and holidays that we would remember everybody and everyone's. I just think it is a matter of you speaking more loudly and open. I've learned being shy, you just got to dig in and become brave. Guess what...you are doing just that by being right here on HP sharing your thoughts, and I know everyone is thrilled to have you. You have found your place and voice here. :)

    • Jonas Rodrigo profile imageAUTHOR

      Jonas Rodrigo 

      3 years ago

      Thank you, Jodah. Your comment is well appreciated.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Hi Jonas, though birthdays and Christmas can be happy times for many people, they can also be devastatingly sad and lonely for others. I could feel the pain in this poem. Well done.

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