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Post Traumatic

Updated on March 3, 2011
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Post Traumatic

Post traumatic to the hilt,
I hate it when my world does tilt
and I succumb to landslide's earth
to time and place of regretful birth.

To visit, now, my childhood home
to step into that whispering dome...
where echoes of tormenting cries
issue forth through weeping eyes.

Feels just like a gunshot blast,
this unforeseen journey past...
that cripples with its sneering pain
and rears its ugly head again.

The wound it leaves, that bullet true,
perforates the gut, straight through...
No bandage or no pressure will
slow the bleeding poison swill.

Thanks be, to God, and all His Grace
I, no longer, haunt this place...
But every now and then, I'm thrust
Into the memories of rust...

Yes, post traumatic to the hilt.
I hate it when my world does tilt
and I succumb to landsliding earth...
to time and place of stolen worth.

"Copyright 2011, All Rights Reserved."

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    • BeyondMax profile image

      BeyondMax 

      6 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Emotional journey, sorrowful and sad, haunting shadows of the past are always a tough hurdle to overcome. Hugs my friend!

    • No_Clue profile imageAUTHOR

      No_Clue 

      7 years ago

      Thank you, fadedsnow! I appreciate your read and comment!

    • fadedsnow profile image

      fadedsnow 

      7 years ago from Aransas Pass, TX

      Wonderful!

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      7 years ago from TEXAS

      I felt that hug, No-Clue! Those are truths distilled from many years of living - and surviving many cross-currents. :-) Hugs back!

    • No_Clue profile imageAUTHOR

      No_Clue 

      7 years ago

      Nellianna, I wish I could give you a big warm hug for your comment! I shall re-read it often to remind me of the absolute truth! Thank you!!!

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      7 years ago from TEXAS

      It's so that old bad experiences can rear their heads in what IS the real time - the NOW - and when they do, they momentarily can steal the now we might otherwise enjoy.

      But there is no such thing as a superfluous feeling. Even the reeling, debilitating ones which come over us just prove we are fully alive and whole. If those feelings have a place in our trunk of being, so that they sometimes emerge and demand our minds for a bit - they do so simply to supply our fullest understanding of others as well as ourselves - and as writers, give good fodder for the scripts we write. We need not re-entertain them past their curtain calls, though. Their time on the main stage is OVER.

      As the writer, stage manager, producer, director and main star of our own show, we can wave them off, stage left. And they will leave.

    • No_Clue profile imageAUTHOR

      No_Clue 

      7 years ago

      Thank you kindly, Elizabeth99!

    • Elizabeth99 profile image

      Elizabeth99 

      7 years ago from Milwaukee, WI

      Nice emotion! Very well written and very beautiful! :)

    • No_Clue profile imageAUTHOR

      No_Clue 

      7 years ago

      miss_jkim, thank you for that...makes the pain of the journey worth every drop!

    • miss_jkim profile image

      miss_jkim 

      7 years ago

      No_Clue,

      I am stunned and amazed. This has got to be one of the best pieces I have read here in a long time. Your ability to bring the reader into your pain and struggle is powerful!

      I have always found that writing, especially about such strong emotions and memories, is one of the best healing balms to the soul.

      You have obviously touched many with this hub, and I am honored to be one of them. Not many people can open the darkest places within themselves the way you have.

    • No_Clue profile imageAUTHOR

      No_Clue 

      7 years ago

      Doug, I had not heard that but I surely believe it! I tend to think it is any deep emotion, really, but for me, pain sure was a jolt that set my pen on fire! lol...Thank you for reading and for your awesome comment!

    • profile image

      Doug Turner Jr. 

      7 years ago

      Didn't someone say "pain is the midwife of art" or something of that nature? Anyway, that sounds like the situation here; an emotional jolt inspired this haunting poem. "Into the memories of rust." Sounds raw and medieval. Nice work.

    • No_Clue profile imageAUTHOR

      No_Clue 

      7 years ago

      yes, I agree. Confrontation is impossible for me,now, for my parents have both passed, but the shame is lifting an inch at a time..and that is a huge relief, that has been a long time in coming for sure. I am grateful to be where I am and I so appreciate your read and thoughtful comment, nikkij! Peace to you!

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Nikki Wicked 

      7 years ago from Louisiana

      yes by doing that you in away put your ghosts to rest, a recent desperate housewives episodes one of the wives had to do that she went back to her hometown and confronted an old teacher/nun who when she was little she had told the nun that her step dad abused her and the nun called her a liar and did nothing about it, she lived all her life ashamed cuz the nun told her u should be ashamed of yourself, well she told the nun she should be ashamed for not doing anything when she went to her for help. im sure a great weight lifted off of her shoulders, she was no longer ashamed. thats what i mean by burying your ghosts, same as you mean, by going back and confronting them.

    • No_Clue profile imageAUTHOR

      No_Clue 

      7 years ago

      thebluestar, thank you for your sweet comment and comfort...I am thinking yesterday's journey into the painful past is part of the healing process, and I am feeling much better today. Hugs!

      Nikki, what you say is true, but some of us are haunted little souls...part of moving on is facing those ghosts down, which is what this was about for me. I so appreciate your read and comment!

    • Nikkij504gurl profile image

      Nikki Wicked 

      7 years ago from Louisiana

      until we can bury the ghosts of our past we can never truly move on

    • thebluestar profile image

      Annette Donaldson 

      7 years ago from Northern Ireland

      OMG No Clue, another beautiful poem. Strong, vibrant full of emotion. Your hurting and I wish I could make it stop. Sending you hugs x

    • No_Clue profile imageAUTHOR

      No_Clue 

      7 years ago

      Amy, your comment brought tears to my eyes and gave me goose bumps...This piece was written yesterday following a flashback, that packed its own power punch...God's timing is at work, here, I think...I thank you for your read and sensitive comment. It means alot to me!

    • Amy Becherer profile image

      Amy Becherer 

      7 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Ashamed to say, yes, I watched Oprah yesterday and saw a piece on a young woman that was rescued at 7 years old from life in a dogcage in the basement. Her biological parents served one year for their crimes. This young woman is 24 years old now with a little baby boy of her own, who she treats like gold. The only time I saw tears from this courageous young woman was when she revisited that basement of her young years. This powerful piece of yours is not only poetically perfect, it delivers a powerful punch. Bravo, No_Clue. Why you go by that name, I'll never know!

    • No_Clue profile imageAUTHOR

      No_Clue 

      7 years ago

      Thank you, Moment..I can well describe that which I live...

    • No_Clue profile imageAUTHOR

      No_Clue 

      7 years ago

      Spirit Whisperer, I read a book once given me by a pastor, that made reference to "a compassionate and wise physician of souls" which is somehow how I envision you. Thank you for your read and comment. There is great need for the likes of you in this old world!

    • Moment in Time profile image

      Moment in Time 

      7 years ago

      PTSD is something many people have to live with. You described it very well

    • Spirit Whisperer profile image

      Xavier Nathan 

      7 years ago from Isle of Man

      I have successfully treated quite a number of people for Post Traumatic Stress and your poem describes accurately how people feel.Thank you.

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 

      7 years ago

      The past can be a cruel task master, I pray that you find peace and shut the door in it's face, I often have had to slam that door shut to keep my sanity. This to in time shall pass. God continue to send you blessings, be strong my friend. Hugs from me to you.

    • No_Clue profile imageAUTHOR

      No_Clue 

      7 years ago

      saddlerider,thank you for your thoughtful comment. Fortunately, I have found a place of peace, both within and without, but the past kicked in my door today and sent me reeling back...if but for a moment, it was traumatic in a way I have not experienced in a long time. Left me in emotional hangover, but inspired some purging, I think. It is all for a reason, I am sure. Just know that I am grateful for your encouragement and support!

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 

      7 years ago

      You know I share your pain, the past haunts me still and my soul cries out with a loud cry and brings forth what I pen. This was so traumatic I agree with every word and every feeling you wrote here.

      Fortunately my soul finds rest from time to time and is at peace, yet it can be stirred as the past kicks down my door from time to time. Thank you for sharing this very poignant work.

    • No_Clue profile imageAUTHOR

      No_Clue 

      7 years ago

      janbee, thank God I don't make that trip often any more! Thanks for the read and comment! Hugs to you, too!

    • profile image

      janbee 

      7 years ago

      Great piece of work,my friend !Sometimes we need to go back there so God can work on healing us! Hugs to you!

    • justom profile image

      justom 

      7 years ago from 41042

      Damn those memories, Peace!! Tom

    • bbnix profile image

      bbnix 

      7 years ago from Southern California

      My pleasure, my beautiful friend...

      (and I cherish tearful big hugs!)

    • No_Clue profile imageAUTHOR

      No_Clue 

      7 years ago

      Huge, tearful hugs to you!

    • bbnix profile image

      bbnix 

      7 years ago from Southern California

      A beautiful piece No-clue.

      It's kind of a purge when we visit our long since past pain. These are the toughest, the ones from our childhoods. I know it hurts as it does for myself when I do likewise, but we do find strength from it - I'm sure you will too.

      Obviously, it prompts beautiful writing from you that I enjoy very much. But it's very much tempered when we care about you so much.

      Thank you for sharing something so personal...

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