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Prose Poetry- As the Violins Play in the Background

Updated on May 24, 2013

My Life-My Journey-My Ending


I can control what it is I want out of life

As the violins play in the background

I sway into the darkness and try to tell if something is left here

I am not to believe the rumors that my heart once told me would be okay to feel

It is a secret-

I am not dead-

I am alive and I know where I can begin.

I am giving up a mask-

And I will face the world

I am no longer a child

I am no longer a girl

It is okay to be afraid,

Of what I have discovered on my own

As long as I still hold my breath

And take the steps forward into a new world.

Feelings and emotions escape to release me,

In the perfect distance the earth curves beneath the tremble of weak knees

Shutter-Silence- Seep into the earth

Endless moments- they belong to someone other than who I am in her

Sounds lift me up, as reality of thought brings me down,

Take away my breath- give me another way out.

It once felt like home, the places where I still step.

My feet are planted on the ground- as the floor around me begins to collapse

I loved the way you touched me,

I didn’t like the way you felt,

I gave away my heart to you,

And you managed to break it.

Don’t you dare judge me!

I have already judged myself.

I do not need your opinions of how i should feel this regret

I carry my past with me,

I carry the lies you tell,

Don’t bother to make this right anymore

I have stored my sins somewhere else.

Never have I felt worth it,

Never did I ever feel I was any good at life

I have spent many years wasted

Trying to decide if I could be good at anything to make my life worth while

You have assured to me I couldn’t,

You assured to me I was done

You assured to me I needed you to make me into a 'someone'.

I don’t need my mistakes to be shown to me,

I already recognize them.

I don’t need for anyone to tell me,

I should be someone else

Sick and tired with the world collapsing around my trembling heart

Telling me I should be ashamed of how I manage to make something more than anything that you are

You are not so much better,

That I could not be better than you.

I hold the truth within my heart

And I do things because they are the right things to do

Would it have been so bad to hold me up to the light?

To point out to me in the darkness, that you can still see the stars?

Why was it a competition?

Why was I filled in regret?

Why can you not see me?

Why can you not help me figure things out?

Always working harder,

Because I have to fight

A constant struggle to get a chance to make myself worthwhile.

So sick of a reputation, that I didn’t create myself.

So sick and tired of suffering for the payment I didn’t deal to need to regret.

You picked and choose what it is I should be

And I finally got tired of it

Little do you know?

As your words cut through your lies

I have grown into someone strong

And I can control what it is I want out of life

I can fight through the chains and the dungeons you have given me

I can get out of this world so I can start at the beginning of living..

It is a secret- I am not dead



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    • H.C Porter profile image

      Holly 6 years ago from Lone Star State

      thank you deborah- I appreciate the comment and the vote up! I am glad you were able to find and read this one also, and that you liked it.

    • H.C Porter profile image

      Holly 6 years ago from Lone Star State

      Johnny- thank you for allowing epigramman to lead you here to read my poem- I am appreciative of you both taking time to read and to comment, and am very happy you enjoyed what you read and saw the meaning within the prose, Thanks for the vote up! :)

    • H.C Porter profile image

      Holly 6 years ago from Lone Star State

      epigramman- you are so great! I love recviewing your comments and posts! The title to this one literally came out of know where- I was waking up (attempting to wake up) one morning and it came into my mind, so I wrote it down and it followed me for awhile until I built the poem around that title :) Thanks for the comment sir!

      cowboy capitol of the world (Bandera County TX) time 1:16am

    • Deborah Brooks profile image

      Deborah Brooks Langford 6 years ago from Brownsville,TX

      The poem is glad I found this...I voted up..debbie

    • profile image

      Johnny 6 years ago

      Wow, this is amazing. Love the feeling of becoming the strength inside of yourself after the fall. C-spot Epi-man lead me here and I am thankful that he did. Voted up and beautiful.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 6 years ago

      ..ariiving here at your hallowed scene of poetic magnificence leaves me with the cherished feeling that I am not just in the presence of great writing and images of a world class hub presentation but I am being moved and touched by an 'experience' the title by the way - being hypersensitive to music - it caught my eye and my ears

      lake erie time ontario canada 3:04pm

      ....see you somewhere over the rainbow and on my Facebook page as posted and a direct link back here

    • H.C Porter profile image

      Holly 6 years ago from Lone Star State

      mary615 - Thank you ma'am... I am happy you were able to read another one of my hub, and felt inclined to comment :) I am happy you enjoyed the hub!

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 6 years ago from Florida

      Lovely. I enjoyed your photos, too. Good Hub.

    • H.C Porter profile image

      Holly 6 years ago from Lone Star State

      jenubouka-Thank you, Thank you! Love your comment, and your take on the poem. When I think of violins, I also think of somber moments in which you hope to collapse-but force yourself to stand your ground and remain strong.

    • H.C Porter profile image

      Holly 6 years ago from Lone Star State

      kelleyward- thank you for the comment, I appreciate you taking the time to read my work and am thrilled you enjoyed what I came up with.

    • profile image

      jenubouka 6 years ago

      Very beautiful poem H.C. I like the idea to the sound of a violin in the background. To me it was words of admitted defeat yet a defiant stance at the same time. I think it is both powerful in the words and in the first voice.

    • profile image

      kelleyward 6 years ago

      Thanks for sharing your deep feelings and moving prose!!

    • H.C Porter profile image

      Holly 6 years ago from Lone Star State

      writer20, THANKS- I appreciate the comment and the rate up! I am happy that you liked the prose. Thanks for reading!

    • writer20 profile image

      Joyce Haragsim 6 years ago from Southern Nevada

      You have written a great poem with some many feelings in it. Voted up and awesome