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Published With Strength!

Updated on September 28, 2015


I wish cried happy tears when I think of you

But I am very lonely without either of you

I cry, yes this is true

I can only hope you are happy

Smiling everyday

Enjoying school

And missing me too

I can only hope that you know the truth

The truth of how much I love you

Deeper than anything can ever be

I can't put into words how much you both amaze me

I know I am not there to see it

But, all I can do is hope you believe it is so

Some may say I care for a man whom I barely know

More than I care about either of you

But, please know that just ain't so

I am equal in my love for all of you

Some in different ways

I am eternally grateful for all of you

I desire to protect you all and keep you safe from harm

And give all of you true love that's unconditional

Now I will tell you kids how I love

With a fire that burns in my heart forever

I made mistakes with all of you

But, I don't regret one day of it

It made us all grow

Someday though, we'll all meet

And fall in love all over again

Laying It On The Line

I recently published my first book. I have been trying to get published since I graduated high school. But, I have been an author all my life. I started off writing about being bullied in school. That was not easy. As an adult though, I never thought I'd have to go through it again. I thought people grew up after high school and didn't whine about who people liked anymore. What the heck? The one star book rating was very funny to me though. Not because I am being arrogant about it by saying that I should have received more stars. I just find it funny that a person who tries to come off as smarter than I am lacked in originality by saying lol. But, I guess I expected too much. To me, it just means that they don't have the courage or patience to put out their own book.

It wasn't easy to write again after losing my kids, going through a divorce, moving to a completely different state and going through social media issues. None of the social media issues were Dominic Monaghan's fault at all. I don't blame him at all for any of it. It wasn't my fault either. I have learned by experience that if situations arise that have nothing to do with you, that you should mind your own business. It was the outside sources that caused the issues in the first place. I told Dominic that I cared for him. It doesn't matter how it was said. It was toward him and no one else. I don't troll what his followers say to him because I don't care. It doesn't interest me at all.

People say they worry I'm going to hurt Dominic, but I don't believe that one bit. I think they are worried Dominic will see right through them and go toward something where he won't need them anymore. I consider myself a huge threat. So did Dom's followers or they wouldn't have kept telling me to stop tweeting Dominic constantly. They continue to go to great lengths to push me away from Dom. Good luck! That hasn't worked in over two years and it never will. They lie, judge, obsess etc. Everything that I am against.

The lies – saying that Dominic Monaghan has a girlfriend/fiance. He might. But, it's not anyone who he's following on Twitter.

The judging – This is what strikes me as the most funny. They try to come off as if they are helping, but in actuality they just can't accept someone has feelings for Dominic Monaghan as a person because they only see him as an actor. They think they know people and their true feelings. There is one who claims to be a psychiatrist who does this all the time. I feel sorry for her clients. She's the most overly judgmental one of them all. Why would you want someone like that for a therapist?

The obsessing - They obsess over Dominic Monaghan and where he's going to be 24/7. Now, they are obsessing over me too. Hmmm, I wonder if there is a reason behind that... They better enjoy it while it lasts.

I've tried being kind to these people for Dom's sake, but after all that was said toward me ignorantly by them, I just don't have the strength anymore. All I can do is just forgive and move forward.

One time, I tried to get along with Evelien when she tweeted me. Wish I had kept that tweet to turn it into the police as evidence for harassment towards Dominic Monaghan. She was freaking out about someone posing as Dom on Facebook. I just shrugged it off and unfriended them. I didn't care. It was their Facebook page not mine. Evelien kept trying to tell me to block and report the “poser”. She seemed very obsessed with the idea in the first place. I was thinking, “Okay, Evelien, who cares?” I considered telling her to stop obsessing over it, but chose not to reply after that.

I also vent online from time to time. I will usually talk about people that make me mad, but won't use any names. They confronted me on this matter just to put the spotlight on them. I wouldn't judge them if they hadn't judged me first. They have their own opinions about me because they know nothing about me except for the fact that I love Dominic. I don't really judge. I get mad because they are insulting me for no reason.

None of us really know each other at all. But, I am going by messages I have received from them and what I have noticed by tweeting Dom since 2013.

But, even with all this going on, I still took the time to write. My writing improved more after all this as well. It was angry writing, but eh. Eminem does it all the time and he's a billionaire. But, just like him, I write because I enjoy it and why not profit from it financially as well? I'm not going to stop writing just because people don't agree or believe everything I say. I'm still going to say it because it comes from the heart. Yeah, I shouldn't splash my personal feelings online, but I'm not afraid to admit who I am. Honestly, it's everyone's choice whether they want to listen to what I have to say or not. I don't force people to respond. Sometimes I wish they wouldn't, but I am glad they did because I learned and grew from every response. I have come out of the mud a much stronger person because of it.

Writing this book was very difficult. It was an accomplishment in itself. I feel as if I got to the top of a mountain that I have been climbing for years. So it's a great feeling to achieve this long time dream of mine. It was a long time in coming, but it arrived at the perfect time.

The book is 805 pages long and doesn't even get to the Dominic Monaghan section in the Amazon Kindle preview which is the longest section next to the huge novel that was written by one of my best friend's Kristina and I. We started it as a sequel to the parody of Fellowship of the Ring film that we started in 2001. We started the one in my book started back in 2002 soon after I fell hard for Dominic.

Kristina and I had so much fun with it. Most of the content was based on spontaneous ideas that randomly popped into our heads at that moment or days later. Those ended up being the most memorable and funniest parts of our work. I am going to praise my book because I have the utmost faith in it. I am confident that every word written is brilliant and a work of art never seen before.

I started writing plays, well, scripts at age ten. I wrote about crushes I had starting in elementary school.

All in all, this has been a roller coaster ride. I never have like roller coasters to be honest. But, I would do it all over again to be where I am today. There's still a lot that even I don't know, but I do know this...things are going to iron out very, very soon.

My Quote That Fits Me Just Right

After saving the pic, I just added the text, "I look jazz dancing and tae kwon do as kid which means I could probably dance while I kick your ass."
After saving the pic, I just added the text, "I look jazz dancing and tae kwon do as kid which means I could probably dance while I kick your ass." | Source

Still Me!


Happy Birthday, Mercedes!

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    • profile image

      Large Marge 

      3 years ago

      I admit, I've been very critical of you in the past. You are 100% right when you say that I have no right to be. We don't have to agree on everything, and I am in no place to tell you what's right and what is wrong. I apologize for anything I've said to you in the past that was hurtful. You are insanely talented and creative. Keep the creativity flowing. While I may not agree with the Dominic Monaghan stuff, if you ever need to chat you can hit me up on Twitter: @joshypuu. I haven't said the nicest stuff to you from my account. I offer you my sincerest apology.

    • profile image

      Lynnette Griggs 

      3 years ago

      I consider you a good Facebook friend. You and your children are in my prayers and I know the while mess will work itself out because God is Greater than all our problems. Keep your chin up. You're a special person.

    • Amanda Abbott profile imageAUTHOR

      Meredith McLarty 

      3 years ago from Sioux City, IA

      Yes, I have. There is more on my blog: Some of it may appear more scattered and all over the place, but I was going through stuff as I wrote the majority of it. I need to finish more writing on here.

      As far as my book goes, I am having a book signing on October 31, 2015. Yep, it's soon. It is going to be live on Skype at 1:00 PM Pacific Time where I will send the group my book free of charge via email.

      I appreciate that you're taking a genuine interest in my hub. Please look for my future hubs. Thanks again!

      Meredyth Lynne

    • ThatMommyBlogger profile image


      3 years ago from The Midwest

      I don't fully understand what happened. I'll have to try and get more details from your other hubs. I'm on a tight budget or I'd buy your book (I went and checked it out).

      It seems like you've gone through a lot, though. I will keep you and your kids in my thoughts.


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