Quotations for Laughs #11 --- Adam & Eve
Adam and Eve Jokes
Good thing there were no neighbors around to say Adam and Eve would never make a success of marriage.
—Jack Warwick, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Pittsburgh, Pa., Jan. 16, 1945.
Adam was the first to discover what a young chicken can do to a new garden.
—Howard C. “Buck” Herzog, Milwaukee Sentinel, Milwaukee, Wis., June 12, 1954.
Eve took the first bite of the apple. But if Adam had taken the first bite, he would probably have said it was because Eve dared him to.
—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., April 18, 1930.
Some funny guy wants to know how far it was from Adam's rib to Women's lib.
—Jimmy Ward, Jackson Daily News, Jackson, Miss., May 7, 1972. Eve:
"Do you really love me?" Adam: "Of course, darling. There's nobody else but you."
—Tom Ethridge, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., July 13, 1970.
Anyway, this can be said in Eve's favor: She didn't marry Adam for money.
—Bert Moses, Lake Charles American Press, Lake Charles, La., June 23, 1944.
Quite a number of persons are firm in the belief that in Eve's making, Adam's backbone and not one of his ribs was used.
—W.P. Ball, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., June 9, 1934.
Another advantage Adam had: Eve couldn't threaten to go home to mother.
—Wheeler County Texan, Shamrock, Texas, Aug. 28, 1924.
Adam: An old-timer who couldn’t kid his wife about how well his mother used to cook.
—Vera Wise, The Daily Herald, Biloxi, Miss., April 13, 1944.
Adam: The first man to rib anyone.
—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, March 20, 1964.
Adam’s rib: The original bone of contention.
—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, March 8, 1957.
An acquaintance is willing to bet that Eve complained she took along all the wrong clothes when they left the Garden of Eden.
—Bill Vaughan, Milwaukee Journal, Milwaukee, Wis., July 17, 1957.
When Adam came in late, Eve couldn't accuse him of running around with other women.
—Bert Moses, Lake Charles American Press, Lake Charles, La., Nov. 14, 1939.
Eve was the first person to get caught leavesdropping.
—Clifford M. Crist, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, April 15, 1968.
Eve: "Do you love me?" Adam: Who else?"
—London Lee, Parade, New York, N.Y., Feb. 9, 1969.
"Eavesdropping again," said Adam as his wife fell out of the fig tree.
—Houston Post, Houston, Texas, May 19, 1961.
Eve may have committed the first sin, but if Adam hadn't been in such a rush to help her the apple might never have stuck in his throat.
—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., May 30, 1928.
Adam may have had his troubles, but he never had to listen to Eve talk about the other men she could have married.
—Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Aug. 2, 1962.
Probably the only pair of lovers who did not imagine that they were "absolutely different" from all the other lovers in the world were Adam and Eve–who had no chance for comparison.
—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Oct. 13, 1937.
What three words did Adam use when he introduced himself to Eve, and which read the same backward and forward? Madam, I'm Adam.
—Youth's Companion, Boston, Mass., Oct. 27, 1864.
Anyhow, Adam had no mother-in-law to start arguments.
—Bert Moses, Lake Charles American Press, Lake Charles, La., Nov. 12, 1936.
The Garden of Eden was called Paradise, because, among other things, none of the inhabitants could get on a stump and prate about the “good old days.”
—John Mooney, Salt Lake Telegram, Salt Lake City, Utah, Oct. 27, 1948.
Garden of Eden: The first co-educational institution.
—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, Oct. 9, 1963.
A young fellow asked an older fellow, "What was the first thing Eve did when Adam came home very late one night?" "She counted his ribs," came the quick reply.
—Dorothea Kent, Family Weekly, New York, N.Y., Dec. 22, 1974.
Perhaps no hardship was so difficult for Adam and Even to bear as their inability to blame the state of the world on an older generation.
—Franklin P. Jones, Family Weekly, New York, N.Y., July 13, 1969.