Quotations for Laughs #13 --- Politics
Definitions of Politics
Politicians call their activities "politics." From the public's standpoint a better name would be "politax."
—Barrie Payne, Nashville Tennessean, Nashville, Tenn., Oct. 24, 1921.
The more one sees of politicians the more one wonders why it is not spelled "pulliticians."
—Salt Lake Telegram, Salt Lake City, Utah, Dec. 26, 1931.
Politics is the fine art of passing the buck–after passing the hat.
—Tom Ethridge, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., May 15, 1969.
Politics is like milking a cow–a lot can be accomplished with a little pull.
—Shelby Friedman, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, July 2, 1965.
Politics has been described as the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it wrong, and applying unsuitable remedies.
—Wesley S. Izzard, Amarillo Daily News, Amarillo, Texas, June 26, 1953.
Politics is the only business where you can promise the customer something for nothing–and have him believe you.
—Fletcher Knebel, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Oct. 22, 1955.
Politics is the fine art of studying popular ignorance and working it up into votes.
—Bert Moses, Lake Charles American Press, Lake Charles, La., Sept. 14, 1928.
Politics is a bed of ruses.
—Joseph F. Morris, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., Sept. 3, 1967.
Politics is the better part of evasion.
—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., Jan. 22, 1969.
Politics–The only thing that's harder to clean than a small boy.
—Lorrie Brooks, Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Jan. 7, 1955.
Politics: A strife of interests that masquerade as a contest of principles.
—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, April 6, 1957.
Politics is the art of telling people what you intend to do–and then explaining for history why you couldn't do it.
—Fletcher Knebel, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Oct. 21, 1963.
Politics is a science run by men whose ignorance of science is appalling.
—Bert Moses, Lake Charles American-Press, Lake Charles, La., Oct. 25, 1929.
Politics is a poor excuse for dishonesty.
—Jack Warwick, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Pittsburgh, Pa., June 27, 1936.
Politics is mud, threat, and smears.
—Kathi Norris, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Nov. 13, 1951.
Politics is the art of spending your friends' money so you can get into a position where you can spend your enemies'.
—Fletcher Knebel, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Nov. 28, 1954.
Politics is a school in which education is furnished at public expense.
—Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Nov. 17, 1950.
Politics: An endless process of tossing out those drunk with power and setting up drinks for the new crowd.
—Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, July 19, 1952.
Politics is the science of extracting money from the rich and votes from the poor.
—Daily Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., Feb. 6, 1936.
Politics: putting off till tomorrow what came undone today.
—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., Sept. 26, 1969.
Politics: a game with two sides–and a fence.
—Dorothea Kent, Family Weekly, New York, N.Y., Sept. 28, 1969.
Politics is the only profession in which a man can make a living solely by bragging.
—Ben Hecht, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Sept. 3, 1969.
Politics is the art of catching your opponent in the act of doing something that you're getting away with.
—Fletcher Knebel, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Sept. 30, 1955.
Politics is a game out of which everybody wants to harvest, but nobody wants to plow.
—Les Goates, Deseret News, Salt Lake City, Utah, May 4, 1950.
Politics: A game in which there is no one less candid than a candidate.
—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, Feb. 22, 1957.