ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Quotations for Laughs #17 --- Basketball

Updated on March 8, 2011

Basketball Humor

We have a great bunch of outside shooters. Unfortunately, all of our games are played indoors.

—Weldon Drew, Sports Illustrated, Chicago, Ill., Jan. 18, 1982.

Everyone likes to see a fellow whistle while he works–unless he's a basketball referee.

—John Mooney, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, March 7, 1957.

Officiating is the only occupation in the world where the highest accolade is silence.

—Earl Strom, Sports Illustrated, Chicago, Ill., June 13, 1977.

You have to be respectful when arguing with an official. I usually say, "Sir, are we watching the same game?"

—Homer Smith, Sports Illustrated, Chicago, Ill., Nov. 4, 1974.

“I could star in this game,” said the basketball candidate, “if Dr. Naismith had gotten the idea from a bushel basket instead of a peach basket.”

—Les Goates, Deseret News, Salt Lake City, Utah, Jan. 22, 1927.

So many fights occur in basketball now that there's a move to change from quarters to rounds.

—Tom Ethridge, Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., Feb. 26, 1973.

The only thing that counts in basketball is the net result.

—Les Goates, Deseret News, Salt Lake City, Utah, Dec. 7, 1929.

Although he may have been tall enough, Abe Lincoln might have had trouble as a basketball player. Could anyone of his widely known honesty have feigned innocence after committing a foul?

—Bill Vaughan, Milwaukee Journal, Milwaukee, Wis., Nov. 15, 1968.

It would have been nice if Abe Lincoln could have had a college basketball scholarship, but suppose he had decided to turn pro instead of going into politics?

—Bill Vaughan, Milwaukee Journal, Milwaukee, Wis., Aug. 24, 1968.

Basketball: A game in which the players hoop for the best.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, May 2, 1964.

Health hints for players–Avoid if possible any inclination you may have to kick a referee in the face.

—Les Goates, Deseret News, Salt Lake City, Utah, March 8, 1924.

It’s a smart basketball player who realizes a relief role is better than a relief roll.

—John Mooney, Salt Lake Telegram, Salt Lake City, Utah, April 7, 1948.

You can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time–and any basketball official will go along with that idea.

—John Mooney, Salt Lake Telegram, Salt Lake City, Utah, Feb. 18, 1948.

Rough basketball: The rule was "No autopsy, no foul."

—Stewart Granger, Sports Illustrated, Chicago, Ill., April 4, 1983.

There was a college basketball player so tall he needed two desks so he could sleep in class.

—Hal Holbrook, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Jan. 9, 1961.

[Girls' basketball coach's comments:]

We play a man-to-man defense. Person-to-person sounds like a phone call.

—Vincent Tralka, Sports Illustrated, Chicago, Ill., March 19, 1979.

Basketball players and other athletes are numbered for easy identification. Why not people in other forms of activity?

—Parke Cummings, Family Weekly, New York, N.Y., Feb. 15, 1959.

Basketball: A game that’s won or lost by a drop in the bucket.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, May 1, 1958.

Some folks imagine the three "R's" of our educational process have been switched over to be: "Rah, rah, rah!"

—W.P. Ball, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Nov. 23, 1937.

The young man who married a cheerleader found her cries of "Charge!" exciting, but didn't realize she was adopting it as a lifetime slogan.

—Bill Vaughan, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, St. Louis, Mo., Dec. 19, 1966.

Being the under dog has some recompense–it gets the sympathy of those who do not think much.

—Edwin E. Naugle, St. Petersburg Times, St. Petersburg, Fla., Oct. 16, 1921.

They threw up enough bricks during warmups to build a condominium.

—Bill Foster, Sports Illustrated, Chicago, Ill., Dec. 2, 1985.

Another example of marvelous equilibrium is a basketball player standing on his past record.

—Les Goates, Deseret News, Salt Lake City, Utah, Jan. 17, 1939.

In basketball a forward is never successful if inclined to be backward.

—Al Warden, Ogden Standard-Examiner, Ogden, Utah, Feb. 4, 1925.

We formed a booster club, but by the end of the season, it had turned into a terrorist group.

—Frank Layden, Sports Illustrated, Chicago, Ill., July 4, 1983.


Submit a Comment

No comments yet.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)