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Quotations for Laughs #18 --- Dentists

Updated on March 8, 2011

Dentist Jokes

A filling station: A dentist's office.

—Edwin A. Naugle, St. Petersburg Times, St. Petersburg, Fla., Oct. 7, 1921.

First things first is a great policy until you’re at the head of the line at the dentist’s office.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., May 7, 1965.

A dentist is a man who drills for gold.

—Carl E. Hayden, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, Sept. 27, 1953.

They aren’t just false teeth anymore. A major dentist now advertises: “We Specialize in Dental Ceramics.”

—Howard C. “Buck” Herzog, Milwaukee Sentinel, Milwaukee, Wis., April 8, 1960.

A man with a pull–the dentist.

Puck, New York, N.Y., Oct. 16, 1889.

Dentistry is like mosquitos–once the drilling starts, it’s too late.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., July 24, 1967.

Only a dentist gets paid for looking down in the mouth.

Daily Herald, Provo, Utah, March 27, 1925.

Romance between a dentist and a manicurist: A tooth and nail affair.

—Shelby Friedman, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., Jan. 12, 1968.

To protect your teeth, see your dentist twice a year and mind your own business.

San Francisco Chronicle, San Francisco, Calif., Aug. 28, 1967.

It was the absent-minded man who had the dentist pull his false teeth.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, July 1, 1905.

Repetitive questioning by the press is like going to the dentist three or four days in a row and getting the same tooth filled each time.

—Manny Fernandez, New York Times, New York, N.Y., Jan. 13, 1974.

A dentist is a strange type of chap. He asks a woman to open her mouth.

—M.W. Larmour, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Jan. 15, 1963.

Dentist: A man that gives you a pain that drives you to extraction.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, March 4, 1964.

The only fellow sure these days of the place he has to fill in the world is the dentist.

The Commercial Dispatch, Columbus, Miss., July 5, 1935.

A grouch is never happy. Let the dentists do the job of looking down in the mouth.

Morning Advocate, Baton Rouge, La., Oct. 3, 1959.

Wouldn't it be correct to call a dentist's association a "teething ring"?

Crowley Daily Signal, Crowley, La., April 17, 1926.

Dentist–The only man who can tell a woman to open and shut her mouth and get away with it.

—Lorrie Brooks, Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Sept. 7, 1953.

Vanquish: What you feel when the dentist drills too deep.

Tampa Morning Tribune, Tampa, Fla., Dec. 23, 1941.

The nearest a dentist ever comes to losing a battle with a patient is a draw.

—Carl E. Hayden, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, Sept. 27, 1953.

The little boy had sat bravely through the drilling. “Well, that’s over,” the dentist said. “Now what kind of filling should we have?”

“Strawberry,” the boy replied.

—Basile Shauner, Family Weekly, New York, N.Y., Aug. 13, 1961.

How do you explain the fact that a man who's afraid to go to the dentist will try racing a train to a crossing?

Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Oct. 15, 1963.

Just the man to fill a vacancy: the dentist.

The Independent, New York, N.Y., Oct. 4, 1883.

Dentist: A man who always tries to pull a fast one.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, Nov. 23, 1963.

Dentist–one who finds work for his own teeth by taking out those of other people.

Youth's Companion, Boston, Mass., March 7, 1867.

My dentist appointment was canceled because the doctor had 18 cavities to fill on the golf course.

—Ruth Buzzi, Parade, New York, N.Y., Feb. 15, 1970.

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