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Quotations for Laughs #23 --- The Honeymoon Is Over

Updated on March 8, 2011

Honeymoon Is Over Jokes

The honeymoon is definitely over when she starts calling him "Listen" instead of "Honey."

—Herm Albright, Family Weekly, New York, N.Y., June 2, 1968.

The honeymoon is over when he stops calling her "Darling" and calls her “say!”

The Commercial Dispatch, Columbus, Miss., Oct. 28, 1929.

The honeymoon is over when he gives up the pleasure of your company for the company of his pleasure.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., Dec. 30, 1966.

The honeymoon is over when she’d rather keep you waiting than keep you company.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., Oct. 13, 1965.

The honeymoon is over when the Mrs. stops dropping her eyes and starts pulling her rank.

The Gunner’s Post, quoted in Milwaukee Sentinel, Milwaukee, Wis., Aug. 19, 1945.

The honeymoon is over when “I Do” changes to “No You Don’t!”

—Red O’Donnell, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., Nov. 20, 1967.

The honeymoon is over when love and kisses no longer rhyme with Mr. and Mrs.

—Jack Warwick, Toledo Blade, Toledo, Ohio, March 3, 1945.

The honeymoon is over when the wonderful look in her eyes changes to a look of wonder.

Saturday Evening Post, Philadelphia, Pa., Dec. 3, 1938.

The honeymoon is over when your ideal becomes an ordeal.

Wood Wind, quoted in Milwaukee Sentinel, Milwaukee, Wis., April 4, 1948.

The honeymoon is over when he finds it might be best to lie to her about a few things.

Crowley Daily Signal, Crowley, La., Jan. 8, 1926.

The honeymoon is over when there are more bills than coos.

—Vera Wise, The Daily Herald, Biloxi, Miss., July 22, 1944.

The honeymoon is over when the inlaws become outlaws.

---Chicago Heights Star, Chicago Heights, Ill., Jan. 31, 1958.

The honeymoon is over when he stops to play with the dog before coming in the house.

The Bug, quoted in Milwaukee Sentinel, Milwaukee, Wis., Dec. 16, 1945.

The honeymoon is over when she reminds him that he hasn't paid her that ten he borrowed.

—Carey Williams, Beaumont Enterprise, Beaumont, Texas, Jan. 10, 1955.

The honeymoon is over when she refuses to help you with the dishes.

—Horatio Fuller, Parade, New York, N.Y., Feb. 28, 1965.

Perhaps the honeymoon is over when the little woman begins to complain about all the noise her husband makes while he is cooking breakfast.

—Boyd Pierce, Sudan Beacon-News, Sudan, Texas, Feb. 6, 1969.

The honeymoon is over when the bride discovers that married life is going to be a series of blue Monday mornings, instead of lone long, glamorous Saturday night.

—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., March 8, 1934.

The honeymoon is over when he and she stop pitching woo and start throwing fits.

—Purser Hewitt, The Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., March 19, 1968.

The honeymoon is over when the bride stops worrying about why he doesn't make more love to her and beings worrying about why he doesn't make more money.

—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., March 21, 1935.

The honeymoon is over when the bride no longer sits in the kitchen talking with the groom while he does the dishes.

—G. Norman Collie, Look, Des Moines, Iowa, March 27, 1962.

Positive proof that the honeymoon is over is when all the baby talk around the house is done by the baby.

San Francisco Chronicle, San Francisco, Calif., April 11, 1974.

The honeymoon's over when you realize that everything she says or cooks disagrees with you.

Houston Post, Houston, Texas, July 27, 1960.

The honeymoon is over when the bridegroom gets up in the morning and counts his money.

—John P. Medbury, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., July 14, 1930.

The honeymoon is really over when he phones to say he'll be late for dinner--and she's already left a note saying his TV dinner is in the freezer.

—Jack Benny, Parade, New York, N.Y., Oct. 15, 1961.

The honeymoon is over when those bushels of kisses are reduced to small pecks.

Chicago Heights Star, Chicago Heights, Ill., Nov. 18, 1955.

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