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Quotations for Laughs #25 --- Self-Made Man
Self-Made Man Humor
The husband who washes the dishes is a self-maid man.
—Saturday Evening Post, Philadelphia, Pa., Dec. 28, 1907.
They say the man is self-made, but they never mention that his wife almost overworked herself helping.
—Jack Warwick, Toledo Blade, Toledo, Ohio, April 12, 1945.
A self-made man is like a bad egg; all right until broke.
—Grady Imes, The Starkville News, Starkville, Miss., April 11, 1941.
Some men are trying to be self-made but they never get finished with digging the cellar.
—George V. Hobart, The Comet, Johnson City, Tenn., Jan. 28, 1912.
Many a self-made man has left the attic unfinished.
---John P. Medbury, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Oct. 7, 1929.
Some self-made men must have bribed the building inspector.
—Roy E. Gibson, Nephi Times-News, Nephi, Utah, Oct. 24, 1974.
The trouble with most self-made men is that they adore their makers.
—Howard C. “Buck” Herzog, Milwaukee Sentinel, Milwaukee, Wis., Feb. 17, 1956.
The trouble with some self-made men is that they insist on giving everybody their recipe.
—Jackie Mason, Parade, New York, N.Y., Nov. 30, 1969.
When a fellow brags that he is a self-made man, you can see where there is a lot of remodeling to be done.
—Vera Wise, The Daily Herald, Biloxi, Miss., May 20, 1944.
Many self-made men are top-heavy.
—Clarksville Leaf-Chronicle, Clarksville, Tenn., June 6, 1922.
Some self-made men are just the average run of the mill type with built-in publicity agents.
—Roy E. Gibson, Nephi Times-News, Nephi, Utah, June 6, 1953.
The self-made man, so called, shows that self in his case is sometimes spelled without an "s."
—Louisville Herald, Louisville, Ky., July 24, 1906.
The self-made man will command more respect when he equips himself with a silencer.
—Chicago Heights Star, Chicago Heights, Ill., Sept. 12, 1963.
It takes a woman to add the finishing touches to a self-made man.
—John P. Medbury, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., July 6, 1930.
Unfortunately, too many self-made men didn't take enough time to do a first class job.
—Chicago Heights Star, Chicago Heights, Ill., Sept. 30, 1955.
Isn't it funny that self-made men are never discovered until they are named for some public position?
—Edwin E. Naugle, St. Petersburg Times, St. Petersburg, Fla., Nov. 3, 1921.
Self-made men are the greatest braggarts. Otherwise nobody would suspect that they had ever been made at all.
—Intermountain Catholic, Salt Lake City, Utah, Nov. 7, 1908.
Some self-made men should get themselves patented to prevent there ever being any others like them.
—Great Falls Tribune, Great Falls, Mont., July 26, 1940.
You don’t often hear of a man who has been married ten or twenty years having courage to claim he is self-made.
—Jack Warwick, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Pittsburgh, Pa., Nov. 28, 1936.
A lot of self-made men would have fared much better had they left the contract to somebody else.
—Macon County Times, Lafayette, Tenn., Dec. 1, 1932.
The self-made man is usually made of self-rising stuff.
—Emmet Rodwell Calhoun, Louisville Times, Louisville, Ky., Dec. 3, 1904.
He's a smart self-made man who admits that his wife bossed the job.
—Morning Advocate, Baton Rouge, La., Dec. 10, 1954.
Self-made man: One who goes through many alterations after he is married.
—Vera Wise, The Daily Herald, Biloxi, Miss., Dec. 14, 1944.
Some self-made men illustrate the example of what happens when you trust a job to an amateur.
—Clarin D. Ashby, Uintah Basin Standard, Roosevelt, Utah, Jan. 11, 1973.
Little Wilbur’s father was talking about himself again.
“You see, son,” he boasted, “I am a self-made man.”
The eight-year-old nodded. “That’s what I like about you, pop,” said the kid. “You always take the blame for everything.”
—Mark Hellinger, Milwaukee Sentinel, Milwaukee, Wis., April 7, 1946.