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Quotations for Laughs #24 --- Money Talks

Updated on March 8, 2011

Money Talks Humor

Money talks–but what can it say when every dollar is already spoken for?

—Gene Gleason, New York Herald Tribune, New York, N.Y., Aug. 4, 1957.

Money may talk, but most of us can't keep the blamed stuff long enough to know what it says.

—Harlan E. Babcock, Helena Independent, Helena, Mont., Oct. 1, 1915.

Money talks–but what it says cannot be classified as free speech.

—Jack Haney, The Times-Picayune, New Orleans, La., Feb. 10, 1926.

Money doesn't talk much until it becomes big money.

—Dan Dobbs, Austin American, Austin, Texas, Feb. 28, 1924.

Money is a little different from man. Money talks, it is true, but it never talks too much.

—Edwin E. Naugle, St. Petersburg Times, St. Petersburg, Fla., April 21, 1922.

Money talks, of course, but it is entirely dumb when it gets into the hands of a miser.

—Vera Wise, The Daily Herald, Biloxi, Miss., Nov. 22, 1943.

The only time some people listen is when money talks.

—Floyd W. Casebolt, The Ennis Daily News, Ennis, Texas, Oct. 28, 1961.

Money talks–it even squeaks, but I seem to be deaf to the language it speaks.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., July 5, 1966.

Money talks, but ours has a limited vocabulary. All it can say is goodbye.

—Wesley S. Izzard, Amarillo Daily News, Amarillo, Texas, Oct. 29, 1960.

Money still talks, but all it says is: “When shall we meet again?”

—Robert Quillen, San Jose Evening News, San Jose, Calif., Aug. 26, 1930.

Money talks. It has a rich voice.

—Jack Haney, The Times-Picayune, New Orleans, La., Jan. 24, 1926.

Money seldom talks today–easy credit and installment buying allow it to go without saying.

—Lee R. Call, Star Valley Independent, Afton, Wyo., March 12, 1964.

Money talks, but sometimes it has an awful impediment in its speech.

—C. Roy Dickinson, Puck, New York, N.Y., Dec. 18, 1915.

Money talks–and all too often it says, "Not guilty."

—Olin Miller, Daily Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., April 2, 1935.

Money talks, but it talks loudest when a man marries it.

—Hamilton G. Park, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, April 8, 1931.

We can be thankful money doesn't talk as much as some of the people who have it.

Lake Charles American Press, Lake Charles, La., Sept. 28, 1945.

While people seem to think that money still talks, actually it's more of a sneer.

Chicago Heights Star, Chicago Heights, Ill., Aug. 28, 1960.

Money may talk, but have you ever noticed how hard of hearing it is when you call for it?

Kellogg Evening News, Kellogg, Idaho, June 17, 1931.

Husband: It certainly is true that money talks.

Wife: Well, I do wish you would leave some here to talk to me during the day.

The Commercial Dispatch, Columbus, Miss., May 22, 1936.

It is true that money talks, but a man tells us that his weekly paycheck can barely speak above a whisper.

Crowley Daily Signal, Crowley, La., April 15, 1925.

Money talks, but a dollar sign is not necessarily a sign of intelligence.

Lewiston Teller, Lewiston, Idaho, July 20, 1907.

Money talks. But it never seems to call for people to come and get it.

Albuquerque Journal, Albuquerque, N.M., Nov. 14, 1924.

Money may talk, but most of us can't hang on to it long enough to hear what it says.

Hamilton County Herald, Chattanooga, Tenn., March 13, 1959.

When money does not talk too much it may properly be termed a modest sum.

Puck, New York, N.Y., Sept. 26, 1906.

When money talks it frequently says, "I told you so."

New York Times, New York, N.Y., Aug. 21, 1910.


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  • attemptedhumour profile image

    attemptedhumour 7 years ago from Australia

    Money talks, but Garychris only deals in gold. (attempted humour Melbourne Feb 2011)