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Quotations for Laughs #32 --- Political Debates & Filibusters
Political Debates & Filibusters Humor
Politics is interesting to me only because I like to watch people’s reactions. A discussion of the respective merits of the two major political parties arouses in me the same wild enthusiasm as would an argument about whether a zebra is a white animal with black stripes or a black animal with white stripes.
—Hamilton G. Park, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, Aug. 24, 1932.
The loudest debater is the man with the fewest facts.
—Bert Moses, Lake Charles American Press, Lake Charles, La., Aug. 25, 1942.
One thing always open to debate in Washington is the mouth.
—Al Morgan, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, May 4, 1952.
United States Senate: The last free forum of debate where senators can practice up for the weekend TV panel shows.
—Fletcher Knebel, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, May 4, 1958.
In any public debate it ought to be pointed out that just because a man is dedicated doesn’t mean he is right.
—Bill Vaughan, Milwaukee Journal, Milwaukee, Wis., Dec. 6, 1966.
In Washington a debate is what follows a politician telling his wife he’s getting dressed up to go to an affair.
—Lee R. Call, Star Valley Independent, Afton, Wyo., July 15, 1976.
The way Congress argues over some bills reminds us of the people who live next door.
—Morning Advocate, Baton Rouge, La., Aug. 10, 1956.
Politicians indulge in a lot of cheap talk about free speech.
—J.R. Hornady, Louisville Times, Louisville, Ky., May 17, 1902.
We had no great debates in our political campaigns, but singing commercials filled the void.
—Bill Vaughan, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, St. Louis, Mo., Nov. 14, 1968.
Some in Congress arise to great occasions while others who debate the national destiny are plainly out of their shallows.
—Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, April 18, 1942.
A dull political debate is as exciting as watching one ping pong player.
—Hal March, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Oct. 5, 1960.
Political philosophy: The weaker the argument the stronger the words.
—Hamilton G. Park, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, July 18, 1932.
A great many orators mix the oil of eloquence with the water of weak argument.
—Great Falls Tribune, Great Falls, Mont., Oct. 1, 1939.
If all these heated political arguments were placed end to end they would not come to any conclusion.
—Les Goates, Deseret News, Salt Lake City, Utah, Oct. 10, 1948.
The average politician these days can put up a sound argument–and that’s the trouble. TOO MUCH SOUND!
—Dan Valentine, Salt Lake Tribune, Salt Lake City, Utah, March 23, 1952.
Filibuster–A long speech about nothing by an authority on the subject.
—Lorrie Brooks, Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, April 20, 1955.
A filibuster is undemocratic. It's undemocratic to allow one man to speak 800,000 words saying nothing when 25 or 30 other men stand ready to split the job up.
—H.B. Fox, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, April 13, 1955.
A lot of lame ducks lose their bills in the congressional filibuster.
—W.A. MacKenzie, The Leesburg Morning Commercial, Leesburg, Fla., April 12, 1927.
Simplest way to cure filibustering is to require full attendance to sit through it.
—Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Aug. 3, 1948.
There's a difference between a filibuster and ordinary conversation. In a filibuster, even the speaker doesn't listen to what he's saying.
—Fletcher Knebel, Houston Post, Houston, Texas, July 29, 1954.
Filibuster: What happens in Congress when jaw is unconfined.
—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, Oct. 11, 1956.
In political discussion heat is in inverse proportion to knowledge.
—J.G.C. Minchin, New York Times Magazine, New York, N.Y., Oct. 22, 1950.
Congress seems to possess more mouth than it does head.
—Bert Moses, Lake Charles American-Press, Lake Charles, La., Feb. 9, 1927.
The hardest thing to do is to get the subject changed when two men are arguing about politics.
—Carey Williams, Beaumont Enterprise, Beaumont, Texas, Dec. 12, 1962.
We are tired of politicians who change sides like fleas in a dog fight without getting hurt.
—Arthur "Bugs" Baer, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Sept. 29, 1930.