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Quotations for Laughs #53 ---Beauty Parlors & Women's Hair

Updated on March 8, 2011

Beauty Parlor Jokes & Women's Hair Jokes (Set No. 1)

Women go to beauty parlors to get dirt out of their hair and into their ears.

—Ted Cook, Austin American, Austin, Texas, Aug. 21, 1930.

Suggested name for a beauty parlor: Curl Up and Dye.

—Chuck Norman, St. Louis Post-Dispatch, St. Louis, Mo., Aug. 8, 1967.

Hair tinting is more popular than ever. Many a girl is out to snare a boy friend or dye trying.

—Mark Beltair, Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., Feb. 14, 1973.

When a woman says she’s going to diet, most of the time it just means she’s going to change the color of her hair!

—Dan Valentine, Salt Lake Telegram, Salt Lake City, Utah, March 1, 1951.

Advice to the young men: If you marry a girl for her looks, you deserve every beauty parlor bill you get.

—Jackie Clark, Parade, New York, N.Y., June 10, 1962.

Sometimes a girl can learn more about Life in a couple of hours in a beauty parlor than in three or four years in the much overrated "School of Experience."

—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., Feb. 18, 1929.

A man's inability to understand women is matched only by his difficulty in recognizing them when they emerge from the beauty parlor.

—Harold Coffin, San Francisco Examiner, San Francisco, Calif., March 11, 1973.

Some women like to enjoy a ripe old age; others go to plastic surgeons and beauty parlors–and live to escape it.

—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., May 10, 1938.

All the world's a woman's beauty parlor, and every man's eyes are her mirror.

—Helen Rowland, New Orleans States, New Orleans, La., May 24, 1927.

Beauty shop–A place where men are rare and women are well done.

—Lorrie Brooks, Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Sept. 13, 1954.

Beauty salon: Where a woman acquires delusion of glamour.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, June 4, 1957.

Optimist: A married man who has an appointment with his wife in front of a beauty parlor, and gets there on time, thinking she will be through.

—Jack Haney, The Times-Picayune, New Orleans, La., June 11, 1927.

Average girl: One who would rather have beauty than brains because the average man can see better than he can think.

—Paul H. Gilbert, El Paso Times, El Paso, Texas, July 31, 1957.

A philosopher is a fellow who can enjoy a blonde’s lovely curls while knowing they have black roots.

California Pelican, quoted in Milwaukee Sentinel, Milwaukee, Wis., Dec. 23, 1945.

We need a cosmetic that will let a woman make up her mind as well as her face.

Milwaukee Journal, Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 1, 1968.

The girl who is real gone on wigs is hair-brained.

—Judy Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., June 22, 1966.

Why shouldn’t blondes have more fun? Think of all the other women they keep guessing.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., Feb. 28, 1969.

Old blondes don’t fade–they just dye away.

—Milton C. Bauer, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., July 18, 1969.

With women wearing so many artificial beauty aids today, it's becoming more and more difficult for men to determine where the truth lies.

—Pat McCormick, Parade, New York, N.Y., June 22, 1969.

Advice to wives: When your husband talks about your beauty, make sure he isn't reminiscing.

Houston Post, Houston, Texas, June 29, 1962.

The wife turned to her husband and asked, "Will you love me when my hair turns gray?" "Why not," he said. "Haven't I loved you through five other shades?"

—Soupy Sales, Parade, New York, N.Y., Dec. 3, 1967.

Woman is the only creature in the world whose every action depends upon the way her hair looks.

—Bill Copeland, Family Weekly, New York, N.Y., Dec. 17, 1967.

Hair tinting is more popular than ever. Many a girl is out to snare a boy friend or dye trying.

—Mark Beltair, Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., Feb. 14, 1973.

Every woman hates the first wrinkle ten times worse than she does the first gray hair.

—E.A. Brinninstool, San Francisco Chronicle, San Francisco, Calif., April 18, 1922.

Some women have such a fear of growing old that worrying over it makes them gray-haired prematurely.

—Herb B. Gee, San Francisco Chronicle, San Francisco, Calif., June 26, 1921.

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  • Hyphenbird profile image

    Brenda Barnes 7 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

    This is so great. I love it and laughed a lot. Great job!

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