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Quotations for Laughs #68 --- Trains

Updated on March 27, 2011

Train Humor (Set No. 2)

In so many cases a person's train of thought consists of one carload of junk and fourteen empties.

—Olin Miller, Daily Clarion-Ledger, Jackson, Miss., Jan. 9, 1936.

An orator is a fellow whose train of thought operates with hot air and has no caboose.

Nashville Banner, Nashville, Tenn., April 13, 1925.

Many a train of thought is nothing but a load of old lumber.

Deseret News, Salt Lake City, Utah, Jan. 28, 1914.

Many a man fails because his train of thought is only a local.

—Roy E. Gibson, Nephi Times-News, Nephi, Utah, March 24, 1955.

Many a train of thought carries no freight.

Idaho Statesman, Boise, Idaho, March 3, 1918.

Trains that never run on sleepers–trains of thought.

Michigan Farmer, Detroit, Mich., March 21, 1887.

A contradiction is a head-on collision in which two trains of thought telescope each other.

Y News, Provo, Utah, March 24, 1926.

A train of thought is easily ditched.

—J.R. Hornady, Louisville Times, Louisville, Ky., June 28, 1902.

There is a great deal of mere baggage on most trains of thought.

Deseret News, Salt Lake City, Utah, Oct. 3, 1916.

Don't run your train of thought on two streaks of rust.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Aug. 16, 1915.

A train of thought won't do you much good unless you get up enough steam to carry it through.

New York Times, New York, N.Y., Aug. 22, 1909.

A train of thought sometimes runs on a side track and can't go any further without backing up.

Intermountain Catholic, Salt Lake City, Utah, Nov. 20, 1915.

The wheels in the head have nothing to do with the train of thought.

Florida Times-Union, Jacksonville, Fla., Nov. 30, 1924.

Fast trains of thought frequently jump the track.

Wheeling Intelligencer, Wheeling, W. Va., Dec. 3, 1908.

When you find Happiness, don't go looking around for a railroad train to find out where Misery has gone.

—Frank L. Stanton, The Atlanta Constitution, Atlanta, Ga., Oct. 19, 1908.

The man who travels the road to ruin generally takes a through train.

Owyhee Avalanche, Silver City, Idaho, Oct. 30, 1903.

A brainless man is as useless as a trainless railroad.

Great Falls Tribune, Great Falls, Mont., Aug. 14, 1938.

Don't race trains to a crossing. If it's a tie, you lose.

Houston Post, Houston, Texas, Feb. 6, 1961.

Racing to beat a train to a crossing is one way of getting your rites.

Daily Idahonian, Moscow, Idaho, Oct. 29, 1943.

Every time a train and an automobile meet at a railroad crossing, the great teacher Experience gets a boost in salary.

Norfolk Journal and Guide, Norfolk, Va., Nov. 3, 1923.

The great trouble with many races to beat a train to a crossing is that they are a dead heat.

Wayne Countian, Clifton, Tenn., May 29, 1925.

Our idea of an egotist is a man who thinks his train of thought exceeds the speed limit.

Dallas Morning News, Dallas, Texas, Oct. 21, 1911.

The trouble with a man in a hurry is that he usually bypasses the train of thought.

Hamilton County Herald, Chattanooga, Tenn., July 13, 1956.

She was only a railroader’s daughter, but she made all the boys woo-woo.

—Bill Copeland, Sarasota Journal, Sarasota, Fla., June 10, 1964.

Many a man has a train of thought, but he can't get the engine rolling.

—Carey Williams, Beaumont Enterprise, Beaumont, Texas, Nov. 12, 1957.

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