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50 QUOTES ABOUT DIVORCE | and Funny Divorce Quotes

Updated on December 18, 2013
Quotations
Quotations

Quotes about Divorce and Funny Divorce Quotes

50 Quotes about Divorce, broken hearts quotes, funny divorce quotes, quotes about moving on & divorce sayings. Exclusive collection & celebrities' quotations.

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Quotes about divorce run the gamut from funny divorce quotes to quotes about moving on. This exclusive collection covers it all.

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Quotes about Divorce

Broken Hearts Quotes

Funny Divorce Quotes

Quotes about Moving On

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Quotes about Divorce

Quotes about Divorce
Quotes about Divorce
Shania Twain
Shania Twain | Source
From This Moment On
From This Moment On

Shania Twain tells all in this book about her life, divorce, moving on and remarriage.

 

Shania Twain Divorce Quote

Here is a quotation about divorce from Grammy winner Shania Twain, upon her divorce from husband for 15 years, Robert 'Mutt' Lange :

"My divorce was like a death - a genuine death of commitment and love. After I got over the shock, I was like, tell me there's some way we can save this. We can save this, right?"

The day after Shania's husband announced that he wanted a divorce, she found out about his long-time affair with her best friend.

"I wanted to die. I had a panic attack."

"I had been very angry, angry enough to lose control; none of us are above it."

Ann Landers
Ann Landers

Margaret Atwood

Famous Canadian author Margaret Atwood has this to say on the subject:

"A divorce is like an amputation:
You survive it, but there's less of you."

Ann Landers (pen name of Eppie Lederer)

The late advice columnist Ann Landers wrote this in reply to a letter:

"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all: this, too, shall pass."

Cheryl Cole
Cheryl Cole
Nicole Kidman speaking about her divorce
Nicole Kidman speaking about her divorce | Source
Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson

Cheryl Cole

Singer Cheryl Cole had this to say after her divorce from her unfaithful spouse, Ashley Cole:

"Yes, definitely I do feel betrayed, but I've got to take everything that's happened and learn from it. I accept that that's a chapter of my life that's finished. And I've just got to be grateful that I've got so many good things going on. I have."

Nicole Kidman

This is how actress Nicole Kidman described her divorce from Tom Cruise, after he filed divorce papers less than two months after they renewed the vows of their ten-year marriage:

"I think that divorce is hard for anyone. It's a nightmare – it just is – and you can pretend you're fine. And [there are] days you're great [and] days you're not great."

In a November, 2012, interview in People magazine, Kidman had this to say about the famous divorce from Tom Cruise:

"It took me a very long time to heal. It was a shock to my system."

Richard Oritz

This divorce quote is from blogger Richard Oritz:

"The horror story about divorce is complete loss of control over what matters in your life. Right now, in fact, it is happening all around us. How's that for a nightmare?"

Jessica Simpson

Jessica Simpson gave this quote in a Glamour Magazine interview about her divorce from Nick Lachey after their three-year marriage:

"It was like a death in the family: You go through the mourning stage, then the rebellion, and then all of a sudden you have to find life by yourself. . . . I loved everything about marriage. I loved having a companion to wake up with and have barbecues with. But things happen and people grow apart. I don't really ever talk about the divorce because it was a heart-wrenching thing to go through."

Eva Longoria
Eva Longoria | Source

Eva Longoria Divorce Quotes

Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria gave these quotes about divorce when interviewed about the breakup of her marriage from San Antonio Spurs basketball player Tony Parker, due to his infidelity:

"It was heartbreaking . . . I think it was disappointing because I had such an identity in being 'Mrs. Parker', and being a wife, and so when that's taken away from you, you [think], 'Who am I?"

"It wasn't about who he chose. I mean, I had moments of, 'Am I not sexy enough? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not smart enough?' In so many of those questions, I immediately stopped and go, 'No, don't start doing that.' Because you can get stuck in that cycle and you can carry it on to other things."

"So many people want me to hate him and destroy him, but I don't want to. I want him to be happy. He's not a bad person."

"I do believe in forgiving and forgetting. There was a reason we were together. I just want to hold on to the good times."

"I do not regret getting married nor do I regret getting divorced."

The Emergency Divorce Handbook for Women
The Emergency Divorce Handbook for Women

Click to look inside and read more.

 

Quotes About Divorce Books

"During my 12 1/2 year marriage, I often thought about divorce. However, I was afraid - afraid of being along, afraid of being broke, and afraid of the psychological impact divorce would have on my children. I never, ever thought that a divorce would result in my husband turning unpredictable with rage. He had always been emotional, but not a violent person. Had I known what would happen when the separation was taking place, I'd have made definite plans and done things a lot differently." – from The Emergency Divorce Handbook for Women by Angela Hoy

Jennie Garth
Jennie Garth | Source
Susan B. Anthony
Susan B. Anthony

Jennie Garth

Actress Jennie Garth described her pain from the March, 2012, divorce papers filed by her actor husband Peter Facinelli. The couple had been married for 11 years and have three children. Jennie spoke openly on her reality television show:

"I think with any sort of rejection, you're angry that you weren't enough for that person. So I don't know if I'm angry at myself for not being enough, or if I'm angry at him for not considering me to be enough."

Susan B. Anthony

Susan B. Anthony (1820-1908), a founding mother of the American Civil Rights movement and a leader in obtaining women's right to vote, gave what was at the time a provocative opinion on divorce:

"I do not consider divorce an evil by any means. It is just as much a refuge for women married to brutal men as Canada was to the slaves of brutal masters."

Princess Diana
Princess Diana

Princess Diana Divorce Quote

Diana, the late Princess of Wales, had this to say on a television interview during the 1995 breakup of her marriage to Prince Charles :

"Well, there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded."

Diana was referring to Camilla Parker-Bowles as the third party. (Camilla is now married to Prince Charles.)

Molly Monet

This quote about divorce comes from professor and divorce blogger Molly Monet:

"I realized it wasn't divorce that's devastating; it's the way divorce is handled."

"How hard it is sometimes to really separate from your former spouse when you share children."

Ryan Reynolds
Ryan Reynolds
Christina Aguilera
Christina Aguilera

Ryan Reynolds

Actor Ryan Reynolds had this to say about his 2011 divorce from actress Scarlett Johansson:

"Anyone who gets divorced goes through a lot of pain ... I don't think I want to get married again."

Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera gave this quote to USMagazine.com upon her divorce from Jordon Bratman:

"I've gone through a really hard divorce, and anyone who has gone through a divorce will speak about how hard the journey is from start to finish. It's a life-uprooting time."

Jaime Pressly

Actress Jaime Pressly gave this account of her 2011 divorce from Simran Singh:

"We fell in love quickly. We got married very quickly. It didn't work out the way we wanted it to. There's nothing more to it."

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher Divorce Quotes

Demi Moore gave this public divorce announcement when she discovered Ashton Kutcher had been unfaithful:

"It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton. As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life."

Immediately after the divorce announcement, Ashton posted this on Twitter.

"Marriage is one of the most difficult things in the world and unfortunately sometimes they fail."

Broken Hearts Quotes

Broken Hearts Quotes from the Bible, Psalm 34:18 (verse 19 in Hebrew)
Broken Hearts Quotes from the Bible, Psalm 34:18 (verse 19 in Hebrew)
Victoria Principal
Victoria Principal | Source

Victoria Principal

Actress Victoria Principal had this to say about taking a year off of work at the termination of her 21-year marriage:

"There's got to be grief."

Stacy Morrison

These broken hearts quotes are from Redbook magazine editor Stacy Morrison, as given to the Chicago Tribune:

"At first I thought I wanted answers. Why is this happening? Why is he leaving me? But what I really wanted was peace, clarity, to let go and to not have my divorce be the thing that defined me."

Stacy describes her divorce journey in her book, Falling Apart in One Piece: One Optimist's Journey Through the Hell of Divorce. In her book, Stacy gives many broken hearts quotes, such as:

"What I wanted on the other side of all this pain wasn't to win, to be right, or even just to be able to claim the cruddy consolation prize of being the one who was wronged. What I wanted was peace."

Mariah Carey

Singer and song writer Mariah Carey wrote this in her song, Love Takes Time:

"Losing my mind
From this hollow in my heart"

Virginia Woolf
Virginia Woolf
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt | Source
Keith Anderson
Keith Anderson

Danica McKellar

Danica McKellar (child star of TV's The Wonder Years) had this to say about the end of her three-year marriage:

"The end of a marriage has got to be one of the saddest events one can experience. I've heard that the pain [of divorce] is second only to an actual death in the family, and that sounds about right."

Virginia Woolf (1882 - 1941)

This quotation is from British author Virginia Woolf:

"The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder."

Jennifer Aniston

American actress Jennifer Aniston had this to say about the breakup of her five-year marriage to actor Brad Pitt, due to his adultery with Angelina Jolie:

"The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain."

William Congreve (1670 – 1729)

The English playwright wrote this famous line in his play, The Mourning Bride:

"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."

Keith Anderson

Country singer/songwriter Keith Anderson wrote these words for his famous broken heart song, I Still Miss You:

"I don't know how to let you go/ You are so deep down in my soul."

Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809 – 1892)

The beloved Poet Laureate of Great Britain wrote the most famous quote for broken hearts:

"It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."

Funny Divorce Quotes

Funny Divorce Quote: Include the Frozen Wedding Cake in the Freezer in Your Divorce Settlement
Funny Divorce Quote: Include the Frozen Wedding Cake in the Freezer in Your Divorce Settlement
Funny Divorce Quotes
Funny Divorce Quotes
Axl Rose
Axl Rose | Source
How To Make Divorce Fun
How To Make Divorce Fun

From the authors: "We developed strategies and methods to rally mess with the ex in such a way that we were no longer good victims and all our ex's wanted to do was get as far away from us as possible and as soon as possible. There is an art to playing with your ex. This is mental chess and should be treated accordingly."

 

If you are looking for a divorce quote on the lighter side, the following quotations range from the mildly humorous to the outrageously funny.

Pamela Anderson

Actress Pamela Anderson gave this divorce quotation after her third divorce:

"Men are just like a book - with a beginning, middle and an end."

Kanye West

Rap singer Kanye West, known for his way with words, wrote these lyrics:

"Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but she ain't messin' wit no broke nigga."

Ann Landers

Ann Landers gave a piece of advice in this famous divorce quote:

"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife."

Axl Rose

Guns N' Roses rocker Axl Rose gave this funny divorce quote to Rolling Stone magazine in 1989:

"It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people."

(It's my guess that Axl didn't realize how funny that divorce quote is!)

Zsa Zsa Gabor

These two funny divorce quotes come from actress and nine-times-married Zsa Zsa Gabor:

"You never really know a man until you have divorced him."

"Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5,000 Gideon Bibles."

Lewis Grizzard

Three times divorced, humor columnist Lewis McDonald Grizzard (1946 – 1994) wrote this famous divorce quotation, which has been used by singer Rod Stewart more than once:

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."

Johnny Carson (1925 - 2005)

Talk show comedian and four-times-married Johnny Carson gave this definition of a legal separation:

"The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money."

Blame your divorce on Facebook
Blame your divorce on Facebook

Charles Bronson

Billionaire Charles Bronson had this to say at the joint divorce party he and his wife gave to announce the end of the marriage (his third):

"Guess what? It didn't work."

Sir Paul Coleridge

British senior judge Sir Paul Coleridge is attributed with this divorce quote:

"It's easier to get a divorce than pass the driving test. Now it's just a basic form-filling exercise."

American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers

The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers issued this divorce quote:

"Facebook holds the distinction of being the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence with 66 percent citing it as the primary source."

Woody Allen
Woody Allen | Source

Woody Allen

Comedian Woody Allen gave these funny divorce quotes after the breakup of his first marriage in the 1960s:

"A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life."

"I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her."

"In New York State they have a strange law that says you can't get a divorce unless you can prove adultery - and it's weird, because the Ten Commandments say 'Thou shalt not commit adultery.' But New York State says you have to. Well, finally, what happened was that my wife committed adultery for me. She's always been more mechanically inclined than I have."

Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise Divorce
Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise Divorce
Robin Williams
Robin Williams

Nicole Kidman

Actress Nicole Kidman gave this funny divorce quote when her marriage to Tom Cruise (reportedly 5'7" tall with his shoes on) dissolved:

"Now I can wear high heels again."

Mike Tyson

Professional boxer Mike Tyson is credited with this quote about divorce:

"You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat."

Garrison Keillor

Garrison Keillor, twice-divorced and producer of the radio show A Prairie Home Companion, told this joke on a radio broadcast:

"Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!"

Robin Williams

All-time funny man and twice divorced Robin Williams gives this definition of the divorce process:

"Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

Divorce Accountant to a Divorcing Client:

"It's cheaper to keep her."

Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian | Source

Kim Kardashian Divorce Quotes

Kim Kardashian had this to say about her decision to divorce her husband of 72 days, Kris Humphries:

"It just wasn't the fairy tale I had hoped for."

Kris Humphries

These are Kris Humphries' words describing the divorce process that took 20 months to complete:

“It was a sh*t sandwich."

Funny Divorce Quotes Video

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Quotes about Moving On

Moving on after divorce
Moving on after divorce
Denise Richards
Denise Richards | Source
Jennifer Aniston
Jennifer Aniston | Source

Denise Richards

Denise Richards gave this moving on quote as her marriage to actor Charlie Sheen was ending:

"I'm a single mom picking up the pieces of my life. I'm not the girl who is portrayed in the press. I am not a husband-stealer, a gold-digger, or a bitch. My life right now is my kids, my friends, and my work."

Ann Landers

Loved for her practical advice, Ann Landers wrote many quotes about moving on in her newspaper column. This is one of the most-quoted:

"Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it."

Jennifer Aniston

Jennifier Aniston had a very public split from her marriage to Brad Pitt, but was eager to let the public know that her life would go on without him in it:

"I'm not defined by this relationship. I wasn't when I was in it, and I don't want to be in the aftermath of it. And that's really important to me. Let's let everybody move on and live their lives, and hopefully everybody will be really happy."

Samantha Waltz

Samantha Waltz contributed this quotation to the anthology, Ask Me About My divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On:

"I was much happier after my divorce. My husband had been very controlling and I literally felt like I'd been let out of prison. Colors were brighter, sounds sharper. My depression lifted."

Herman Hesse (1877 - 1962)

German author and poet wrote this famous line about moving on:

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."

Eva Longoria Describes Moving on After Divorce

Divorce Poems
Divorce Poems

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    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Haze 3 years ago from Sunny Florida

      I enjoyed reading your quotes. I like the way you tied in the pictures and had quotes from people we know. Very well put together.

    • Writer Fox profile image
      Author

      Writer Fox 3 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      Thank you, KoffeeKlatchGals. There are probably millions of other divorce quotes that we cannot chronicle because they weren't said by famous people. I would love to list more of them.

    • brakel2 profile image

      Audrey Selig 3 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

      Hi Writer Fox - Great hub! The photos add so much to this hub, and make it more personal. Many of the personalities are my favorites, especially Jennifer Anniston and Nicole Kidman. Their comments on the situation bring their personalities to life even if they were public comments. They talked with class but some were funny like the one who had her depression lifted. That can be the truth at times. Some people celebrate their divorces. Thanks for the research and sharing your findings.

    • Writer Fox profile image
      Author

      Writer Fox 3 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      I'm so glad you appreciated this article. I think it helps anyone who is going through a divorce or has been through one to hear what famous people said about their own divorces. Thank you for your comment!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 3 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      50 QUOTES ABOUT DIVORCE and FUNNY DIVORCE QUOTES truly funny and really made me laugh divorce is painful just to think of how many couples get married and divorced and remarry but only to make the same mistakes all over again. Repeating the same process and still fail.Great hub and well approached.

    • Writer Fox profile image
      Author

      Writer Fox 3 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      Yes, some people do make the same mistakes and others, I think, learn from their mistakes and move on to better relationships. World over, people still choose marriage.

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 3 years ago from North Texas

      Divorce is indeed like the death of a dear loved one, and the most humiliating betrayal, all at the same time. No matter how adult one tries to be, no matter how organized and agreeable the proceedings, nothing can prepare a person for, or stop the huge kick in the gut.

      Interesting to read what different people have had to say. Voted up, interesting, and pinned to my 'Relationships' board.

    • Writer Fox profile image
      Author

      Writer Fox 3 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      Thank you Au fait for adding this comment. Nothing can prepare someone for divorce, as you point out. It's a time when the emotional floodgates open. People going through a divorce have so much going on that it is difficult to imagine that there is life after divorce.

    • sprickita profile image

      sprickita 2 years ago from Reno

      brilliant as usual ... miss the fox tales... so but here is a (I think) funny divorce quote I heard a while back from???From I am not sure where from but it is funny & not mine

      ~~ Who ever said money can't buy happiness, has never paid for a divorce ~~

    • Writer Fox profile image
      Author

      Writer Fox 2 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      I like that quote! Thanks for posting it.

    • Glen Kowalski profile image

      Glen Kowalski 2 years ago

      When I first got divorced I had a bumper sticker that read "I tried to drown my sorrows but the ***** learned how to swim." I've since gotten over it but the divorce hurt initially :D

    • Writer Fox profile image
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      Writer Fox 2 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      I appreciate your humor, Glen. Divorce is painful for everyone in the beginning. You never really get over it, but you do get through it and life does go on! I appreciate your taking the time to comment here.

    • Billie Kelpin profile image

      Billie Kelpin 2 years ago from Newport Beach

      I was really doing something else when I started reading these quotes, Writer Fox, but the something else is still waiting :) Very clever to focus in on celebrities. It's comforting to see that some of the most talented, beautiful people of the world can be "thrown away" by a spouse as well as those of us of the common variety. During the years of grieving over my husband leaving, I searched for healing words like a dying person searches for the one doctor that can cure him or her. For me there were three quotes that got me through: "He who has a WHY to his existence, can bear with almost any HOW" (Neitzsche) "The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong in the broken places" (Hemingway) and "I'm not afraid of storms for I'm learning to sail my ship." (Louisa Mae Alcott. Congratulations on your million view milestone! Well deserved!

    • Writer Fox profile image
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      Writer Fox 2 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      Thank you so much, Billie, for adding those quotations. Each one contains words of wisdom. I especially like the one from Hemingway. Did you know that when a broken bone heals that it is stronger than it was before?

      So many people today have been through the experience of a personal divorce, or have close friends or family members who have. It's comforting to know that there is a huge support group everywhere you look.

      Thanks for the compliments.

    • profile image

      Nicole Austin 18 months ago

      These quotes can definitely help cheer someone up after a divorce! Prince charming is out there, ladies! It is really nice to know there is a support system and this page to help pick someone up after this ordeal. Thanks!

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