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50 QUOTES ABOUT DIVORCE | and Funny Divorce Quotes
Quotes about Divorce and Funny Divorce Quotes
50 Quotes about Divorce, broken hearts quotes, funny divorce quotes, quotes about moving on & divorce sayings. Exclusive collection & celebrities' quotations.
Quotes about divorce run the gamut from funny divorce quotes to quotes about moving on. This exclusive collection covers it all.
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Quotes about Divorce
Shania Twain tells all in this book about her life, divorce, moving on and remarriage.
Shania Twain Divorce Quote
Here is a quotation about divorce from Grammy winner Shania Twain, upon her divorce from husband for 15 years, Robert 'Mutt' Lange :
"My divorce was like a death - a genuine death of commitment and love. After I got over the shock, I was like, tell me there's some way we can save this. We can save this, right?"
The day after Shania's husband announced that he wanted a divorce, she found out about his long-time affair with her best friend.
"I wanted to die. I had a panic attack."
"I had been very angry, angry enough to lose control; none of us are above it."
Famous Canadian author Margaret Atwood has this to say on the subject:
"A divorce is like an amputation:
You survive it, but there's less of you."
Ann Landers (pen name of Eppie Lederer)
The late advice columnist Ann Landers wrote this in reply to a letter:
"Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all: this, too, shall pass."
Singer Cheryl Cole had this to say after her divorce from her unfaithful spouse, Ashley Cole:
"Yes, definitely I do feel betrayed, but I've got to take everything that's happened and learn from it. I accept that that's a chapter of my life that's finished. And I've just got to be grateful that I've got so many good things going on. I have."
This is how actress Nicole Kidman described her divorce from Tom Cruise, after he filed divorce papers less than two months after they renewed the vows of their ten-year marriage:
"I think that divorce is hard for anyone. It's a nightmare – it just is – and you can pretend you're fine. And [there are] days you're great [and] days you're not great."
In a November, 2012, interview in People magazine, Kidman had this to say about the famous divorce from Tom Cruise:
"It took me a very long time to heal. It was a shock to my system."
This divorce quote is from blogger Richard Oritz:
"The horror story about divorce is complete loss of control over what matters in your life. Right now, in fact, it is happening all around us. How's that for a nightmare?"
Jessica Simpson gave this quote in a Glamour Magazine interview about her divorce from Nick Lachey after their three-year marriage:
"It was like a death in the family: You go through the mourning stage, then the rebellion, and then all of a sudden you have to find life by yourself. . . . I loved everything about marriage. I loved having a companion to wake up with and have barbecues with. But things happen and people grow apart. I don't really ever talk about the divorce because it was a heart-wrenching thing to go through."
Eva Longoria Divorce Quotes
Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria gave these quotes about divorce when interviewed about the breakup of her marriage from San Antonio Spurs basketball player Tony Parker, due to his infidelity:
"It was heartbreaking . . . I think it was disappointing because I had such an identity in being 'Mrs. Parker', and being a wife, and so when that's taken away from you, you [think], 'Who am I?"
"It wasn't about who he chose. I mean, I had moments of, 'Am I not sexy enough? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not smart enough?' In so many of those questions, I immediately stopped and go, 'No, don't start doing that.' Because you can get stuck in that cycle and you can carry it on to other things."
"So many people want me to hate him and destroy him, but I don't want to. I want him to be happy. He's not a bad person."
"I do believe in forgiving and forgetting. There was a reason we were together. I just want to hold on to the good times."
"I do not regret getting married nor do I regret getting divorced."
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Quotes About Divorce Books
"During my 12 1/2 year marriage, I often thought about divorce. However, I was afraid - afraid of being along, afraid of being broke, and afraid of the psychological impact divorce would have on my children. I never, ever thought that a divorce would result in my husband turning unpredictable with rage. He had always been emotional, but not a violent person. Had I known what would happen when the separation was taking place, I'd have made definite plans and done things a lot differently." – from The Emergency Divorce Handbook for Women by Angela Hoy
This is a divorce guide for men.
Actress Jennie Garth described her pain from the March, 2012, divorce papers filed by her actor husband Peter Facinelli. The couple had been married for 11 years and have three children. Jennie spoke openly on her reality television show:
"I think with any sort of rejection, you're angry that you weren't enough for that person. So I don't know if I'm angry at myself for not being enough, or if I'm angry at him for not considering me to be enough."
Susan B. Anthony
Susan B. Anthony (1820-1908), a founding mother of the American Civil Rights movement and a leader in obtaining women's right to vote, gave what was at the time a provocative opinion on divorce:
"I do not consider divorce an evil by any means. It is just as much a refuge for women married to brutal men as Canada was to the slaves of brutal masters."
Princess Diana Divorce Quote
Diana, the late Princess of Wales, had this to say on a television interview during the 1995 breakup of her marriage to Prince Charles :
"Well, there were three of us in this marriage, so it was a bit crowded."
Diana was referring to Camilla Parker-Bowles as the third party. (Camilla is now married to Prince Charles.)
This quote about divorce comes from professor and divorce blogger Molly Monet:
"I realized it wasn't divorce that's devastating; it's the way divorce is handled."
"How hard it is sometimes to really separate from your former spouse when you share children."
Actor Ryan Reynolds had this to say about his 2011 divorce from actress Scarlett Johansson:
"Anyone who gets divorced goes through a lot of pain ... I don't think I want to get married again."
Christina Aguilera gave this quote to USMagazine.com upon her divorce from Jordon Bratman:
"I've gone through a really hard divorce, and anyone who has gone through a divorce will speak about how hard the journey is from start to finish. It's a life-uprooting time."
Actress Jaime Pressly gave this account of her 2011 divorce from Simran Singh:
"We fell in love quickly. We got married very quickly. It didn't work out the way we wanted it to. There's nothing more to it."
Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher Divorce Quotes
Demi Moore gave this public divorce announcement when she discovered Ashton Kutcher had been unfaithful:
"It is with great sadness and a heavy heart that I have decided to end my six-year marriage to Ashton. As a woman, a mother and a wife there are certain values and vows that I hold sacred, and it is in this spirit that I have chosen to move forward with my life."
Immediately after the divorce announcement, Ashton posted this on Twitter.
"Marriage is one of the most difficult things in the world and unfortunately sometimes they fail."
Broken Hearts Quotes
Read more about Stacy Morrison's divorce.
Actress Victoria Principal had this to say about taking a year off of work at the termination of her 21-year marriage:
"There's got to be grief."
These broken hearts quotes are from Redbook magazine editor Stacy Morrison, as given to the Chicago Tribune:
"At first I thought I wanted answers. Why is this happening? Why is he leaving me? But what I really wanted was peace, clarity, to let go and to not have my divorce be the thing that defined me."
Stacy describes her divorce journey in her book, Falling Apart in One Piece: One Optimist's Journey Through the Hell of Divorce. In her book, Stacy gives many broken hearts quotes, such as:
"What I wanted on the other side of all this pain wasn't to win, to be right, or even just to be able to claim the cruddy consolation prize of being the one who was wronged. What I wanted was peace."
Singer and song writer Mariah Carey wrote this in her song, Love Takes Time:
"Losing my mind
From this hollow in my heart"
Danica McKellar (child star of TV's The Wonder Years) had this to say about the end of her three-year marriage:
"The end of a marriage has got to be one of the saddest events one can experience. I've heard that the pain [of divorce] is second only to an actual death in the family, and that sounds about right."
Virginia Woolf (1882 - 1941)
This quotation is from British author Virginia Woolf:
"The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder."
American actress Jennifer Aniston had this to say about the breakup of her five-year marriage to actor Brad Pitt, due to his adultery with Angelina Jolie:
"The greater your capacity to love, the greater your capacity to feel the pain."
William Congreve (1670 – 1729)
The English playwright wrote this famous line in his play, The Mourning Bride:
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."
Country singer/songwriter Keith Anderson wrote these words for his famous broken heart song, I Still Miss You:
"I don't know how to let you go/ You are so deep down in my soul."
Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809 – 1892)
The beloved Poet Laureate of Great Britain wrote the most famous quote for broken hearts:
"It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."
Funny Divorce Quotes
From the authors: "We developed strategies and methods to rally mess with the ex in such a way that we were no longer good victims and all our ex's wanted to do was get as far away from us as possible and as soon as possible. There is an art to playing with your ex. This is mental chess and should be treated accordingly."
If you are looking for a divorce quote on the lighter side, the following quotations range from the mildly humorous to the outrageously funny.
Actress Pamela Anderson gave this divorce quotation after her third divorce:
"Men are just like a book - with a beginning, middle and an end."
Rap singer Kanye West, known for his way with words, wrote these lyrics:
"Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but she ain't messin' wit no broke nigga."
Ann Landers gave a piece of advice in this famous divorce quote:
"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife."
Guns N' Roses rocker Axl Rose gave this funny divorce quote to Rolling Stone magazine in 1989:
"It's really hard to maintain a one-on-one relationship if the other person is not going to allow me to be with other people."
(It's my guess that Axl didn't realize how funny that divorce quote is!)
Zsa Zsa Gabor
These two funny divorce quotes come from actress and nine-times-married Zsa Zsa Gabor:
"You never really know a man until you have divorced him."
"Conrad Hilton was very generous to me in the divorce settlement. He gave me 5,000 Gideon Bibles."
Three times divorced, humor columnist Lewis McDonald Grizzard (1946 – 1994) wrote this famous divorce quotation, which has been used by singer Rod Stewart more than once:
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
Johnny Carson (1925 - 2005)
Talk show comedian and four-times-married Johnny Carson gave this definition of a legal separation:
"The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money."
Billionaire Charles Bronson had this to say at the joint divorce party he and his wife gave to announce the end of the marriage (his third):
"Guess what? It didn't work."
Sir Paul Coleridge
British senior judge Sir Paul Coleridge is attributed with this divorce quote:
"It's easier to get a divorce than pass the driving test. Now it's just a basic form-filling exercise."
American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers
The American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers issued this divorce quote:
"Facebook holds the distinction of being the unrivaled leader for online divorce evidence with 66 percent citing it as the primary source."
Comedian Woody Allen gave these funny divorce quotes after the breakup of his first marriage in the 1960s:
"A wife lasts only for the length of the marriage, but an ex-wife is there for the rest of your life."
"I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her."
"In New York State they have a strange law that says you can't get a divorce unless you can prove adultery - and it's weird, because the Ten Commandments say 'Thou shalt not commit adultery.' But New York State says you have to. Well, finally, what happened was that my wife committed adultery for me. She's always been more mechanically inclined than I have."
Actress Nicole Kidman gave this funny divorce quote when her marriage to Tom Cruise (reportedly 5'7" tall with his shoes on) dissolved:
"Now I can wear high heels again."
Professional boxer Mike Tyson is credited with this quote about divorce:
"You can't stay married in a situation where you are afraid to go to sleep in case your wife might cut your throat."
Garrison Keillor, twice-divorced and producer of the radio show A Prairie Home Companion, told this joke on a radio broadcast:
"Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!"
All-time funny man and twice divorced Robin Williams gives this definition of the divorce process:
"Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Divorce Accountant to a Divorcing Client:
"It's cheaper to keep her."
Kim Kardashian Divorce Quotes
Kim Kardashian had this to say about her decision to divorce her husband of 72 days, Kris Humphries:
"It just wasn't the fairy tale I had hoped for."
These are Kris Humphries' words describing the divorce process that took 20 months to complete:
“It was a sh*t sandwich."
Funny Divorce Quotes Video
Did you think any of these divorce quotes were funny?
Quotes about Moving On
Denise Richards gave this moving on quote as her marriage to actor Charlie Sheen was ending:
"I'm a single mom picking up the pieces of my life. I'm not the girl who is portrayed in the press. I am not a husband-stealer, a gold-digger, or a bitch. My life right now is my kids, my friends, and my work."
Loved for her practical advice, Ann Landers wrote many quotes about moving on in her newspaper column. This is one of the most-quoted:
"Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it."
Jennifier Aniston had a very public split from her marriage to Brad Pitt, but was eager to let the public know that her life would go on without him in it:
"I'm not defined by this relationship. I wasn't when I was in it, and I don't want to be in the aftermath of it. And that's really important to me. Let's let everybody move on and live their lives, and hopefully everybody will be really happy."
Samantha Waltz contributed this quotation to the anthology, Ask Me About My divorce: Women Open Up About Moving On:
"I was much happier after my divorce. My husband had been very controlling and I literally felt like I'd been let out of prison. Colors were brighter, sounds sharper. My depression lifted."
Herman Hesse (1877 - 1962)
German author and poet wrote this famous line about moving on:
"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."
Eva Longoria Describes Moving on After Divorce
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