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Updated on March 7, 2011
ANGEL by Jason Levesque (aka Stuntkid)
ANGEL by Jason Levesque (aka Stuntkid) | Source


As a redhead, I have always collected redhead jokes. Here are a few of my favorites!


Redheads don't sleep...they wait.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3?
A redhead.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, a redhead jumps out.

How sexy are redheads? A group of redheads once visited the
Virgin Islands. They are now known as The Islands.

Redheads put the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

A cobra bit a redhead. After 5 days of excrutiating pain, the cobra died.

A redheads dog is trained to clean up its own poop, because a redhead refuses to take sh** off anyone!

If a redhead gives you the finger, she's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Death once had a near-redhead experience.

A redhead can have both feet on the ground and still kick your ass.

The only time a redhead was wrong was when she thought she had made a mistake.

A redheaded woman can make a paraplegic man run for his life...

Redheads don't have to use pick-up lines. They simply say, "Now."

Redheads don't play hide-and-seek. They play "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

A redheaded woman is so stubborn she can beat the sun at a staring competition.

A redhead is probably the reason Waldo is hiding.

There is no such thing as gay men - only men who haven't met a sexy redheaded woman.

When redheads run with scissors, others will get hurt.

A redhead gave Mona Lisa that smile...

What do you call a redhead with attitude?

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A redhead!

Which is safer; a redhead or a piranha?
A Piranha. They only attack in schools.

What two things make a redhead happy?
Let her think she's having her way, then let her have it!

What is the redheads motto?
The fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.

What's the difference between a redhead and a pit bull?
Some people actually feel comfortable having a pit bull.

What's the difference between a blond and a redhead?
At least you can ignore the blond safely.

What's the difference between a redhead and a lawyer?
There are some things even lawyers wouldn't do to people...

What does a blond say after a party?
"Sure I'll go home with you."
What does a brunette say at a party?
"I wish that blond would leave."
What does a redhead say at a party?

Why aren't there more redhead jokes?
Someone told them to a redhead.

Fear itself fears Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris fears a redhead.

What's the difference between a redhead and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Why do blonds have more fun?
Because there aren't enough redheads to go around.

What do a redhead, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.

Every man should love a redhead once in his life...Twice if he survives!

What is the difference between a blond and a redhead?
A blond does what you tell her to do. A redhead tells you what to do.

Good girls say thanks for dinner. Redheads say "What's for breakfast?"

When a redhead goes to get a cavity filled, anesthesia is applied to the dentist.

Redheads donate blood to the Red Cross. Just not their own.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are 3 sides to the force: the Light side, the Dark side, and the Redheaded side.

Redheads are so feisty, they drink napalm to quell their heartburn.

Redheads do not use spell check. If they misspell a word,
Oxford simply changes it.

Scientists have conceded that in the event of a nuclear war, cockroaches and redheads will be the only survivors.

There are no disabled men. Only those who once dated a redhead.

If you trust a beautiful redhead, she trusts you. If you do not trust her, you could be seconds away from death.

Redheads can slam revolving doors.



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    • profile image

      one who love redheads 

      5 years ago


    • profile image


      6 years ago

      A few were stupid and the people who write a few of those wait her are chewing on bricks or asking to get there teeth knocked out...redheads are special and amazing and fascinating!

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Wow, that was funny and i am a redhead myself! Not offensive, just downright funny!! Lol!

    • profile image

      psyco redhead des 

      8 years ago

      Love the jokes and my boyfriend loves them more cause he can't wait for me to untie him XD

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Lol well I'm a read head and a lot of that sounds abit like me ... Lol

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      OMG!!! i am a redhead....its still so funnny, although people say i should be a blonde.....

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      I LOVE THIS AND IM A REDHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • greenqueen93 profile image


      8 years ago from savannah georgia

      just awesome XD

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      DEAD ON! Can't wait to read these to my redheaded Pam in the a.m. (You KNOW I'm not going to go wake her UP!)

      My favorite: "When you open a can of whoop-ass, a redhead jumps out."

      Voted Up and Across.

    • Katy Katz profile image

      Katy Katz 

      8 years ago

      This is easily the greatest thing I have ever read!

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 

      8 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      I had to stop mid-read and email this address to my daughter and Ghost32. I know they will love them. These are great.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      These are amazing! simply amazing and so incredibly true!

    • profile image


      8 years ago



    • lorddraven2000 profile image

      Sam Little 

      9 years ago from Wheelwright KY

      these are great.

    • profile image

      Susan Goodwin Hazzard 

      9 years ago

      I LOVE IT!!!

      ... And...

      I LOVE YOU!!!!


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