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REDHEAD JOKES

Updated on March 7, 2011
ANGEL by Jason Levesque (aka Stuntkid)
ANGEL by Jason Levesque (aka Stuntkid) | Source

REDHEAD JOKES

As a redhead, I have always collected redhead jokes. Here are a few of my favorites!

REDHEADS ARE FAMOUS FOR THEIR TEMPERS AND UNPREDICTABILITY...HOW FAMOUS?

Redheads don't sleep...they wait.

If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3?
A redhead.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, a redhead jumps out.

How sexy are redheads? A group of redheads once visited the
Virgin Islands. They are now known as The Islands.

Redheads put the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

A cobra bit a redhead. After 5 days of excrutiating pain, the cobra died.

A redheads dog is trained to clean up its own poop, because a redhead refuses to take sh** off anyone!

If a redhead gives you the finger, she's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Death once had a near-redhead experience.

A redhead can have both feet on the ground and still kick your ass.

The only time a redhead was wrong was when she thought she had made a mistake.

A redheaded woman can make a paraplegic man run for his life...

Redheads don't have to use pick-up lines. They simply say, "Now."

Redheads don't play hide-and-seek. They play "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

A redheaded woman is so stubborn she can beat the sun at a staring competition.

A redhead is probably the reason Waldo is hiding.

There is no such thing as gay men - only men who haven't met a sexy redheaded woman.

When redheads run with scissors, others will get hurt.

A redhead gave Mona Lisa that smile...

What do you call a redhead with attitude?
Normal.


What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A redhead!

Which is safer; a redhead or a piranha?
A Piranha. They only attack in schools.

What two things make a redhead happy?
Let her think she's having her way, then let her have it!

What is the redheads motto?
The fastest way to a man's heart is through his ribcage.

What's the difference between a redhead and a pit bull?
Some people actually feel comfortable having a pit bull.

What's the difference between a blond and a redhead?
At least you can ignore the blond safely.

What's the difference between a redhead and a lawyer?
There are some things even lawyers wouldn't do to people...

What does a blond say after a party?
"Sure I'll go home with you."
What does a brunette say at a party?
"I wish that blond would leave."
What does a redhead say at a party?
"Next."

Why aren't there more redhead jokes?
Someone told them to a redhead.

Fear itself fears Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris fears a redhead.

What's the difference between a redhead and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Why do blonds have more fun?
Because there aren't enough redheads to go around.

What do a redhead, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.

Every man should love a redhead once in his life...Twice if he survives!

What is the difference between a blond and a redhead?
A blond does what you tell her to do. A redhead tells you what to do.

Good girls say thanks for dinner. Redheads say "What's for breakfast?"



When a redhead goes to get a cavity filled, anesthesia is applied to the dentist.

Redheads donate blood to the Red Cross. Just not their own.

Although it is not common knowledge, there are 3 sides to the force: the Light side, the Dark side, and the Redheaded side.

Redheads are so feisty, they drink napalm to quell their heartburn.

Redheads do not use spell check. If they misspell a word,
Oxford simply changes it.

Scientists have conceded that in the event of a nuclear war, cockroaches and redheads will be the only survivors.

There are no disabled men. Only those who once dated a redhead.

If you trust a beautiful redhead, she trusts you. If you do not trust her, you could be seconds away from death.

Redheads can slam revolving doors.

 

Comments

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    • profile image

      one who love redheads 

      3 years ago

      Coooooool

    • profile image

      Alexis 

      4 years ago

      A few were stupid and the people who write a few of those wait her are chewing on bricks or asking to get there teeth knocked out...redheads are special and amazing and fascinating!

    • profile image

      WonderRed77 

      5 years ago

      Wow, that was funny and i am a redhead myself! Not offensive, just downright funny!! Lol!

    • profile image

      psyco redhead des 

      6 years ago

      Love the jokes and my boyfriend loves them more cause he can't wait for me to untie him XD

    • profile image

      jade 

      6 years ago

      Lol well I'm a read head and a lot of that sounds abit like me ... Lol

    • profile image

      Ally 

      6 years ago

      OMG!!! i am a redhead....its still so funnny, although people say i should be a blonde.....

    • profile image

      Jenny 

      6 years ago

      I LOVE THIS AND IM A REDHEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • greenqueen93 profile image

      greenqueen93 

      6 years ago from savannah georgia

      just awesome XD

    • profile image

      Ghost32 

      6 years ago

      DEAD ON! Can't wait to read these to my redheaded Pam in the a.m. (You KNOW I'm not going to go wake her UP!)

      My favorite: "When you open a can of whoop-ass, a redhead jumps out."

      Voted Up and Across.

    • Katy Katz profile image

      Katy Katz 

      6 years ago

      This is easily the greatest thing I have ever read!

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 

      6 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      I had to stop mid-read and email this address to my daughter and Ghost32. I know they will love them. These are great.

    • profile image

      Nic 

      6 years ago

      These are amazing! simply amazing and so incredibly true!

    • profile image

      kitty 

      6 years ago

      WHOO!

      AND THAT'S FROM A RED HEAD!

    • lorddraven2000 profile image

      Sam Little 

      7 years ago from Wheelwright KY

      these are great.

    • profile image

      Susan Goodwin Hazzard 

      7 years ago

      I LOVE IT!!!

      ... And...

      I LOVE YOU!!!!

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