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Raindrops (poem)

Updated on September 28, 2013

The raindrops of that evening still return

Upon the dim lit streets of long ago

My heart still bears the pain within its flow

As moments wash away all clear discern

-

Within its stream is washed away regret

The blossoms which were for another day

Before the winds of winter wrought decay

And seeds of always in a soul were set

-

There in wet streets are echoes of a past

As drops of ever cast their timeless song

Of dreams and wishes destined to go wrong

In love’s confusion raindrops meant to last

-

So once again the streets will see me cry

With raindrops of the night she said goodbye

Music only

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    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 

      4 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      Rain can be the tears of humanity collected and distributed all at once.

    • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

      Gypsy Rose Lee 

      4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

      Voted up and awesome. You certainly can pull at the heartstrings. Pearling.

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 

      4 years ago from Hawaii

      A sad but lovely piece.

    • Tuatha profile image

      Kari Shinal 

      4 years ago from AZ

      Love the rain, it does much for the soul as do the tears we cry. Thank you Martin!

    • BlossomSB profile image

      Bronwen Scott-Branagan 

      4 years ago from Victoria, Australia

      Some pains fade a little with time, but never disappear. Lovely, thoughtful poem. You are such a master at this kind of poetry it's always a treat to read.

    • Max Havlick profile image

      Max Havlick 

      4 years ago from Villa Park, Illinois

      Yes, Martin, I concur with these comments by your readers. This sonnet communicates a beautiful, clear message, showing both poetic talent and promise for the future. Especially impressive to me, your insertion of two inventive phrases, "seeds of always" and "drops of ever," into the rigorous format of a classical sonnet.

      May I suggest for line 6 you try "The blossoms blooming for another day," and see how you like it. For one thing, it removes a vacant passive "which were" (still leaving two other passives in the same 4 lines), but also the two "b" words in line 6 would help highlight your excellent alliterative use of three "w" words in line 7 ("before the winds of winter wrought decay") and four "s" sounds in line 8 ("and seeds of always in a soul were set").

      For line 8 why not try the same words in active voice? I.e., "and set the seeds of always in a soul," because "the winds of winter" is still your active working subject of the verb "set," and the change might make your meaning that much clearer.

      But overall, this work contains many signs you diligently study sonnet craftsmanship, and I commend and encourage any work that shows such talent and hard work. Best wishes,

      Max, Workshop for Writers, Sept. 29, 2013

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      4 years ago from Texas

      Seeds of always within a soul were set... Love the way you use words!

    • profile image

      DJ Anderson 

      4 years ago

      Most of us can relate with the sad, yearning heart which

      can find no solace.

      You have evoked memories from long ago.

      Brilliant work, Martin. Your talents know no bounds.

      You are the poet master!

      DJ.

    • James-wolve profile image

      Tijani Achamlal 

      4 years ago from Morocco

      Wow so beautiful .Pain takes time to be washed.Voted up!

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 

      4 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      What a sad and wistful poem, and the music really complements it. It is easy to cry in the rain - the tears mix with the raindrops.

      Thanks for sharing this with us, and I hope you have a great Sunday.

      ~ Kathryn

    • jhamann profile image

      Jamie Lee Hamann 

      4 years ago from Reno NV

      Well done Martin. Jamie

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      4 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Just plain bleak.

    • Rosemay50 profile image

      Rosemary Sadler 

      4 years ago from Hawkes Bay - NewZealand

      This is beautifully writted Martin. The sadness and pain expressed in this piece is heartfelt

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 

      4 years ago from southern USA

      Stirring and haunting words here of that dim lit street with the raindrops falling and that pain from then still remaining in the heart.

      Perfect haunting piano music too.

      Up and more and sharing

      God bless you,

      Faith Reaper

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