Random thoughts to oneself
I have breathed so hard this year that at some point I wondered whether this will come to an end. I have fallen to one knee, felt the claws of failure upon my skin, and “occasionally” which turned to a habit. I have cried so hard that my tears have gone down my cheeks washing the remains of a faded life. But honey I discovered I am far more than a body, for more than the crystal you see your reflection in. I am strong like a flood in its power I am ready to embrace the change. Like the winds blowing from the north I don’t submit, in fact I am ready to pull the trees out in order to survive. I am a tyrant , a lovely rose yet deadly with its thorns. Like the water so powerful so agile I am ready to take the challenge and rise up to the occasion. I now know no backing out for life is short and I have to live the best out of it. I am no sore loser for I write my own track and trace in life and with the wings of the fallen angel I carve my name on this land. I back down on no battle and I am the only one who really wants to grasp the sun with my hand. Baby we can all fly but you are the one who determines how high you want to go. I fight for my sore existence only to learn more about who I am and what I want to be. I sail sometimes with a vivid picture of the place I want to be, yet sometimes the winds of fate throw me to a different, sometimes ominous direction but I have my fate in GOD for a better place. The breath-taking future so glorious always gives me a thrust, drafting me to a pursuit that I have to win. I have acquired the belief that I am the master of my body and soul. For when the body meets up with the soul’s burning desire and the fire inside ignites there is nothing to stand in my way. The whole body ignites with the desire to lead, the desire to conquer the desire to feel more of the world as well as myself. I am the angry nature furious yet just, the angry tiger motherly yet ready to pounce.
I can cry, also smile and when it comes to life, its scars and its tests I can endure. With the will of stone and the pride of a lion yet I know that it is my heart that makes me so utter. The absolute silence of equilibrium in body makes clarity. And so all emotions should find equilibrium in Faith and love; love to oneself as well as others. WE must learn to share the love as well as the happiness and pain.
Now I see the beauty in life; its glittering shimmery that binds up the little pieces of my spirit. By the will of the heavens I will be better person. I will take no doubt in life for I know that every single struggle will make me a better person. And in the end I will take pride that I have lived my life out till the last breath. And when the undertaker comes to visit I’d say “I am ready to meet my maker for I have no fears, I did my share of sins yet I have faith that he is The Merciful who will forgive. And so I live by the code” Live well, age well, and go bald. And if you can, die smiling.