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Reasonable Deception

Updated on July 21, 2014





Ritler Fernandez was a drug dealer without a conscious. He once shot a good friend, Nelson Rivera, over a ten dollar debt. He also chased down a transvestite on Barnum Avenue and shot him down like a rabid dog. However, he knew the law and the variations of it. He was released from prison when the detectives who charged him with murder lied. They told him that the murder weapon was covered with his finger prints, and the fact of the matter was, he was wearing gloves. The detectives underestimated their prey or overestimated his knowledge of the crime. Ritler made them lose precious credibility that simply came up in court.

Ritler’s latest dealings had him arrested once again. A superficial postmortem indicated massive internal bleeding and severe blows to the head. The detective Nathan Chambers took the case on head first. He wanted to make sure there were no more reasonable deceptions.

Ritler didn’t know the dead man. He just didn’t like the way he stared at him while he was enjoying his chicken Mcnuggets. He then followed the man behind a Rite Aid pharmacy and he beat him to death with a tire iron.

Chambers got a confession and was ready to finally get that piece of garbage off the streets. However, when Ritler was released into the hands of two officers, he swung at one of them and kicked the other. He suffered from a physical assault that was not part of the arsenal.

He stood in front of circuit court Judge Benjamin Fashjain and made sure his wounds were noticeable. The police who tried to regain control of the prisoner explained to the judge what had happened. Still, circuit court juries often prefer to think in conspiratorial terms about back rooms, and hot lights and rabbit punches to a suspect’s kidneys.

Ritler Fernandez testified that his confession was obtained only after he had been mauled by the two officers who beat him with a hard cover dictionary.

Nathan Chambers was sequestered and did not hear that testimony, but when he took the stand, the defense attorney asked what items were in the room during the interrogation.

“Tables, chairs, phone, coffee mugs, the usual stuff,” Chambers replied.

“Was there a hard cover dictionary?”

“Oh yeah, we call that the monster.”

“How did you know you had the right man?”

“His fear, nervousness, his confusion and his hostility.”

Only when the defense attorney looked approvingly at the jury did Nathan realize that something was wrong. After the not guilty verdict, Nathan swore he would never again hand over his suspect to anyone.

© 2014 Frank Atanacio

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    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      im sure you did too tobusiness and bless you

    • tobusiness profile image

      Jo Alexis-Hagues 2 years ago from Bedfordshire, U.K

      Frank, I'm pretty sure I'd already read this one, but I can't seem to find my comment. Just as good second time around.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      winged.. your guess is exactly right :) bless you

    • wingedcentaur profile image

      William Thomas 2 years ago from That Great Primordial Smash UP of This and That Which Gave Rise To All Beings and All Things!

      Hi Frank.

      This "Ritler Fernandez is a fascinating psychological creation. I can't decides what he likes more, committing violent crimes or getting away with them, his cat-and-mouse game with the police. But then again, I'm sure that was your intention, which I should think came off according to plan.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      lol thanks Clive

    • clivewilliams profile image

      Clive Williams 2 years ago from Nibiru

      I think you should write a book and make some good money frank...talented indeed

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      hey thanks Samuel yeah I wrote it LOL and thanks tomtom :)

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      Tom-Tom 3 years ago

      a fast pace drama, very well written

    • samuel hodges profile image

      samuel hodges 3 years ago from Winston-Salem NC

      Did you write this story?!? It's good. Real good. Short stories are hard to write without over writing. There are only so many words that can be used, (1000 words or less...) you know.

      I like the plot and the twist at the end. I was wondering how Ritler was going to get free this time.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      LOL yeah I did annart.. thank you :)

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 3 years ago from SW England

      Love the puns in this one! You have what I call a ruthless humour and it's great to read. Did you also realise there's a Chambers dictionary? Probably!

      I'm sure there'll be a come-uppance for Ritler Fernandez some time soon.

      Very entertaining.

      Ann

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      Ladyfiddler, hmmm..LOL Becky Kats funny girl :) and Thank you Genna East for stopping by... :)

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 3 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      I agree with Becky. I hope to read a sequel where Chambers puts him away. Not all outcomes are fair and just, and this story brilliantly conveys.

    • Becky Katz profile image

      Becky Katz 3 years ago from Hereford, AZ

      Eating McNuggets can be dangerous in several ways. I did not realize this was one of them. Good story, and I am sure Chambers will get him someday.

    • LadyFiddler profile image

      Joanna Chandler 3 years ago from On planet Earth

      Frank whenever i go at a Franchise to eat i am going to be sure not to watch anyone least they give me blows to my head for staring them . LOL this guy is pretty psychotic , well yeah i guess he became a pro so obviously he'll do a clean slick job whenever he's doing it "gloves" the killers master mind weapon of no evidence left behind......

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      Thank you Jackie and Uban for visiting my short story :)

    • Jackie Lynnley profile image

      Jackie Lynnley 3 years ago from The Beautiful South

      Unique Frank; I liked this. Very interesting. Sort of outside the box. ^+

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 3 years ago from Lagos

      Lovely story once again, Frank. I just read the most flimsiest of excuses to murder. Just cos the guy stared at Ritler got him provoked to the point of murder. That's pathetic and for the Judge to release such an animal back to the society is a big shame. Kudos for this fantastic story, Frank. Your variations and storytelling styles beat my very sense of imagination. You are too good.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you Msdora for stopping by :)

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      The bad guy is good at his game, and makes the law come down in his favor. Only you, Frank, can make a story with such twists seem authentic.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you Lisa and Pallster for checking out my short story...:) bless you guys

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      Pallster 3 years ago

      I like how quick yet telling your story is and how you take us from the animal on the street into the courtroom yet he cannot be caged, great short fiction Frank antanachio

    • Lisawilliamsj profile image

      Lisa Williams 3 years ago

      Great story, as usual! I love how your writing always sucks me in!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      LOL..

    • carolinemd21 profile image

      Caroline Marie 3 years ago from Close to Heaven

      I'm tired! You know what I mean! LOL

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      what? LOL thanks caroline :)

    • carolinemd21 profile image

      Caroline Marie 3 years ago from Close to Heaven

      The titles grab your attention and the words are very grabbing your attention. Great writing Frank. :)

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you Faith for your comment hope all is well with you and thank you Flourishanyway for you comment too bless you both

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you Billy and Examiner for stopping by :)

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      Fitnezz, yeah I guess you're right LOL.. hey Valley good to see you my old friend

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 3 years ago from USA

      I'm sure someone will be giving ole Nathan a reminder that the first rule of providing testimony is answering only the question asked -- nothing more. I sure liked your approach. The details on this were awesome. Killing someone over not liking how they look at you eating your Chicken McNuggets. Yep! I can see that.

    • Faith Reaper profile image

      Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

      You always come up with great titles to your great writes. Exceptionally well written and clever.

      I believe we have plenty of those drug dealers without a conscious around these parts too. I have known them to kill for literally no reason at all ... Except around these parts, they would not do it behind a Rite Aid, but with the good ole boy network going on, you would just go missing in the back woods, never to be found. Eeks, now I am scaring myself LOL

      Voted up and more and away

      Blessings always

    • The Examiner-1 profile image

      The Examiner-1 3 years ago

      That was nicely written Frank. It is what I call "circumstantial evidence" in a good mystery novel. I voted that up, shared it and pinned it.

      Kevin

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 3 years ago from Olympia, WA

      This was an attention-grabber from the very first line...nicely done, Frank.

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      Valleypoet 3 years ago

      Great write Frank despite the lack of justice in this story...:-)

    • FitnezzJim profile image

      FitnezzJim 3 years ago from Fredericksburg, Virginia

      Too funny, in essence, he won his case by claiming they threw the book at him.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

      thank you Jodah and always exploring for checking out my shorts

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 3 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I liked this one too Frank. Ritler's day is coming. Karma can be bad...

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 3 years ago from Queensland Australia

      You can't win them all Frank, but Ritler will get what's coming one day. Well written as always.