Relationship between Mother And Child
The Bond Between Mother and Child
The most intriguing and challenging relationship on the planet is the one of mother and child. It is no shock as to why. There are so many factors involved in this relationship. There is a special and unmistakable connection between mothers and child. When a baby is born, the mother has an immediate connection that transcends comprehension. She knows that child is the best pieces of her. This child is connected to her as if it was her soul mate. "so beautiful, rapturous , pregnant with their child. She told no one but she knew the baby was to be a girl or boy. It would be herself again, reborn and this time perfect." As this little child grows up, the relationship gets complicated. Intense love and intense hatred surface.
“Sometimes when you pick up your child you can feel the map of your own bones beneath your hands, or smell the scent of your skin in the nape of his neck. This is the most extraordinary thing about motherhood - finding a piece of yourself separate and apart that all the same you could not live without.”
There is a special bond exists between mother and kids which can never be end. A mother never less her love and care to her kids and always give equal love and care to her every kid but we all kids together can never give her a little love and care like her in her old age. Even after she never understands us wrong and forgive us like a small child. She understands our each and every activity, we can never fool her.
She never wants us to get hurt by someone and teaches us to behave well with others. In order to pay attention and pay thankfulness to the mothers, May 13th has been declared as a Mother’s Day to celebrate every year. No one pay even a single role in our life as a mother. We too always take care of our mother all through the life.
Women are sociable. Talking about life's problems comes easy to a young girl and her mother. She comes home from school and tells her Mommy about her day, her friends and her dreams. As she grows up she will go to her mother for advice about boys and have many laughs together. When she becomes a teen, mother daughter relationship can go one of two ways. One Is just as likely to happen as the other. Either the Mother and Daughter will come together emotionally and bond over life's trials and tribulations. Or they'll become adversaries, suddenly making the mother who loved and nurtured her daughter, who was once her best friend, suddenly arch-enemy number one. The Mothers desire to be her daughter's best friend conflicts with her daughters need to be an individual.
Mrs. Dietrich is a divorcee mother that is yearning for meaning and love in her life. Nola is a young adult looking for independence and to feel like a grown woman. This is the theme throughout the story. "Nola saw Mrs. Dietrich watching her and walked away angrily and when Mrs. Dietrich caught up with her she said, "I can't stand it, Mother." Her voice was choked and harsh, a vein prominent in her forehead. "Let me go. For Christ's sake will you let me go." This relationship is a typical one of a seventeen year old girl and her mother, marked with the intensity only a teenage daughter can bring out of her mother . "As Nola glances up, startled, not prepared to see her mother in front of her, their eyes lock for an instant and Mrs. Dietrich stares at her with hatred. Cold calm clear unmistakeable hatred. She is thinking, Who are you? What have I to do with you? I don't know you, I don't love you, why should I?"
Teenage girls want their mother both close to them and far away emotionally, but they are not sure how to achieve this so they give mixed signals. The daughters push away and instinctively their mothers try to regain control of their connection by pursuing the emotional closeness. In the attempt to keep their relationship close, mothers tend to smother their teenage daughters. Mrs. Dietrich sees Nola as her only source of love so she tries to keep that alive, unbenonst to her she is smothering Nola with her overbearing need to feel attachment. "Sometimes in weak despondent moods, alone, lonely, self-pitying, when she has had too much to drink, Mrs. Dietrich thinks she is in love with her daughter." Mrs. Dietrich is not her own woman. Her divorce, compounded by her loneliness and alcoholism forces her to need Nola in a way that is not healthy. She hides behind her daughter because she doenst know how to live anymore. She spent her whole life being needed, by her husband and her daughter, and now that she doesn't feel needed she essentially is in crisis mode. As she tries to hold on to every little glance, every word and every breath her daughter takes, Nola asserts herself further from her grasp. "When Nola is away she seems to forget her mother entirely-doesn't telephone, certainly does not write. It's the way all their daughters are, Mrs. Dietrich's friends tell her."
Mrs. Dietrich's divorce from Nola's father is also a driving force behind each woman's behavior.
"In theory, divorce need not mean disconnection. In reality, it often does. One large survey in the late 1980s found that about one in five divorced fathers had not seen his children in the past year, and less than half of divorced fathers saw their children more than several times a year. A 1981 survey of adolescents who were living apart from their fathers found that 52 percent had not seen them at all in more than a year; only 16 percent saw their fathers as often as once a week. Moreover, the survey showed fathers' contact with their children dropping off sharply with the passage of time after the marital breakup." (world without fathers)
Once the oldest child hits adolescence, parents are catapulted into a process of life review. "Where have I been, where am I now, where am I going?" These questions gnaw at parents who observe their children at the brink of adulthood.
It hits hardest the parent who is the same sex as the adolescent. Mothers and daughters actually have more difficulty than fathers and sons. In either case, the children tend to serve as a mirror of their younger lost selves, and bear the brunt of parents' regrets as parents distance themselves. Among parents who have gone through a real divorce, the emotional divorce that occurs between adolescents and their parents can heighten difficulty. It may reawaken feelings of sadness. Parents who don't have many interests outside the family are also vulnerable. Their kids are telling them to "Get a life!" --and that is exactly what they need to do.(adolencents whose hell is it)
“In a child's eyes, a mother is a goddess. She can be glorious or terrible, benevolent or filled with wrath, but she commands love either way. I am convinced that this is the greatest power in the universe.”
“my mother, poor fish,
wanting to be happy, beaten two or three times a
week, telling me to be happy: "Henry, smile!
why don't you ever smile?"
and then she would smile, to show me how, and it was the
saddest smile I ever saw”