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Crime Story Short - Room Service.

Updated on October 14, 2010

Room Service

“It’s amazing just how much mess a shotgun makes” James, the senior forensic investigator, said to Paul, his trainee, on arrival at the crime scene.

Four people lay dead in an executive hotel room.

Two of them, both male, appear to have been shot with a shotgun. A third male appears to have been stabbed several times to the chest and one female stabbed in the back, with the knife still in the wound.

One shotgun victim found sat against the wall, shot in the chest whilst standing and slid down to his final resting position.

The other, the only naked person, face down on the floor, and shot at close range to the back of the head.

The third male, who appears to have five stab wounds around the chest area, lay on his back in the middle of the room.

The female, lying face down on the bed over the shotgun, seems to have a single stab wound to the right of her spine with the knife still in the wound.

A serving trolley, tipped on its side, a champagne bottle, one broken flute, a squashed cake, two small plates and two spoons lay scattered around the area between the bed and the balcony doors, floor wet with what appears to be champagne. Another flute found to the right of the shotgun victim with the chest wounds.

On the glass balcony doors, two hand prints, in blood. The only person present with bloody hands being the stabbed man. Though the hot tap on the bathroom sink also has blood around it, suggesting that someone washed up?

“The clues are here, the evidence is here, it all needs piecing together,” James said in deep thought, “consider this your test case Paul, solve it, you’ve passed out”.


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    • carrie Lee Night profile image

      Kept private 3 years ago from Northeast United States

      A good start :) but I think it lacks spark. I think if this is tweaked and a slight bit longer to explain more than just a crime scene, it could transform into an intriguing mystery :). Thank you for sharing.

    • wilbury4 profile image

      wilbury4 7 years ago from England I think?

      Suspense Penny!!! Maybe one day I will follow it up. Cheers.

    • pennyofheaven profile image

      pennyofheaven 7 years ago from New Zealand

      Aww that's teasing! I want to know who dunnit now? Excellent write. I was captivated.

    • wilbury4 profile image

      wilbury4 7 years ago from England I think?

      Cheers Leni,

      It is a final challenging exam to James.

      Something I wrote to enter into a competition, a maximum 300 word one. I also did a 5000+ one, too large for a hub I think?

    • leni sands profile image

      Leni Sands 7 years ago from UK

      I like the way you describe the scene in this hub. I was just wondering when you are going to finish it off? It currently reads like the opening moments of a CSI style episode.

      The last couple of lines - does James mean that Paul has literally 'passed out' at the scene or that if he solves the puzzle he will pass his CSI course?

      I look forward to reading more on this.