SELF for MY SELF
When I saw my SELF
He passed away on 20th November 2018 and I started living with grandpa at village on my own accord. Nobody knew why I prefer living there. "I'm living over there for my grandma" was just a lame excuse; The fact was... I got tired of all the relationships before his death. the reason might be my speculative thinking towards our society. This tiredness eventually transformed into hatred when my eyes captivated In-sensitiveness among the crowds at funeral day. Horrific Sounds of mourning were being raised with no drops of water. Some were trying their best to shade tears and I with my contemplation was trying to discover the truth behind the drops of water in their eyes winking at me. They were pretending to be faithful and sympathetic towards the cadaver and we were being deceived by the devious.
“I don’t wanna be deceived anymore” I raptured the silence of my "self" and made up my mind to confront all the expected dissimilarities. I learnt only the positive aspect of our society before; now I wanted to experience the negative aspect of society for better understanding of positivity and then my stereotypical way of thinking improved to a matured one. Staying apart of the society I was observing it like an object. I discovered the true image of my “self” among the individuals. That was the end… the erosion of my expectations with my society.
The image of society was explicit. “I will design my SELF for myself” I thought. “there’s only one shadow while I’m standing; that’s mine but still I’m not alone” I have the silent images… of God, of past, of thoughts and of You… “I’m not alone at all” I repeated for so many times I spent five months at village in rebuilding my SELF with the help of those abstract ideas. and then I flew so far away with my SELF that dust blurred the land.
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2019 Samiya Maryem