Mr. Snot: Why Me? A Transplant Recipient's Lament
Mr. SNOT, Why Me?
I don't want it to seem tasteless, or crude, you see!
I have been sitting here, at home, for the past two days, with a #%^&%&^$ Cold.
You know, the standard, run of the mill, Cold; with the occasional Chill, stopped-up head, and achey all over feeling ..... Cold! (Didn't someone have a commercial using this phrasing?)
Anyway, one of the major tasks during this ordeal is the management of my new friend ..... Mr. SNOT!
I say friend, because we have been so close over the past two days.
I go to bed with it,
I wake up in the middle of the night to remove and handle it, and I lay around during the day cursing it.
I buy stuff at the store to better manage it, and I take non-prescription drugs to entice it to leave me alone and attack someone else.
I compare the common Cold to the famous Boll Wievel, in that old popular song of my youth. You Know ..... I'm Just looking for a Home!
Sadly, Mr. Snot, a partner with Mr. Cold, is presently resident in my head!
At this very moment, I have a fresh Supermarket bag, lying next to the Sofa, at my feet, just to hold my used tissues,drug packages, and unreadable instructions for the proper use of all!
How did I get this .... COLD?
A Suppressed Immune System
Actually, I am usually very careful when I venture out into the great, drooling, disease carrying, public. You see,as a rule they do not have a clue about how not to pass on Colds and other diseases, they may be carrying, to others.
You see, I have a Kidney Transplant that has survived inside me for some years now. It takes care of me, if I do the same for it, this new Kidney of mine.
What most people do not know is that along with a transplanted organ the new owner will have a suppressed Immune system. Otherwise, my own body would try to attack this strange new organ inside me as if it were the plague itself.
To prevent this internal attack on my Kidney, my Doctors prescribe some pretty strong medications to suppress my immune system and thus allow my Kidney to survive and work for me. Of course, a suppressed Immune System also means that I am susceptible to pretty much any disease or illness that I might be exposed to.
This kind of thing comes with the world of transplant survival, and I am quite used to managing myself when I go out into public.
Things You can do to avoid other peoples illness'
As a transplant recipient, I have become quite knowledgeable of thing that I need to do to ..... well..... Live.
Here are some rules you need to understand about other people and the world they take for granted and you need to manage. and follow:
Social Contact- Don't shake hands with people! Most of them are carriers of all kinds of things including a large sampling of the world of Bacteria.
Personal Contact- When they hold their hand out, just say something like: Nice to see you, My hands are Dirty, so I won't shake! This is just easier than saying: I don't know where your hands have been, so I'll just pass, on catching a disease from you, today, if you don't mind.
Waiting Room Paraphernalia- If you have to go to a Doctors Office or Waiting Room remember one thing.They treat sick people there! Try not to touch Anything, especially the staff. They have been touching Sick people all day!
Never, Never, Ever ....... pick up a magazine, or touch anything, in a waiting room. Besides the fact that the magazine is probably at least two years old,and bored, sick people have probably just put it down while they were waiting for the Doc. Ask yourself the question: What lovely ailment did they have to justify their being here?
Avoid Buffet Lines- Those Tongs in a Buffet Lines are the number one carriers of Bacteria and Germs in public eating places. And, handle that menu carefully also. They have been handled by thousands of people.
Wash Your Hands - I try to go to the bathroom and wash my hands before I eat, and I use the paper towel to open the door to leave, if they have them. Then, while standing in the door, I try for my own version of a 3-pointer to the trash can.
Door Handles- Most Door handles are larger than what you see on a cabinet or drawer. Most people are tall enough that they naturally grab the top of the handle when they leave the bathroom. I always try to use only a couple of fingers and I grab the bottom of the handle.
Personal Entertainment- I try to have my own entertainment for waiting rooms. I suggest that you carry your own; Crossword Puzzles, magazine or a good Book, or something that you know where it has been.
Carry your Smartphone or iPad with you, if you have one. Even if your Doctor is somewhat backwards and does not provide WIFI in his office, you can still entertain yourself with games and even your favorite downloaded book or magazine on your Smart device.
The Inconsiderate (or unknowing?) Public.
I have been amazed over the years by the thoughtless actions of people I am around,
Is it that they do not know that I can be made sick so easily?
Is it that they just do not care?
Even after all of these years I have survived with my transplant, I still cannot tell.
Good Friends and Relatives alike, who will walk up to me, telling me that they don't feel well, and immediately grab me for a hug, or at least a handshake.
I am always stunned by such actions. I read somewhere that "ignorance is Bliss" .
I like to add my own qualifier to this: "And I know some of the biggest Bliss-ters in the world".
To answer ,my own question; How did I get this darn Cold?
I obviously touched something or someone that was in the "Carrier Mode", and contracted this lovely strain of their disease.
Thanks You, whomever you are.
The Required Equipment for Battle
To do battle with my friends Mr. Cold and Mr. Snot can be a little confusing and at times costly.
Walk into any Drugstore, and you will see, immediately, just how lucrative fighting a Cold, and his buddy Mr. Snot really are.
There are literally aisles, of rows, of shelves, all full of almost any drug and device you might imagine, available for use in your search for relief. Without Prescriptions!
You will first notice that you need a firm grip on what you really want to relieve or control.
For example, I saw over a half a dozen boxes, by one company, that were generally for a Cold. But, each individual box contained a variant of the drug that was designed especially for a specific sub category. Such as: Head Cold, Chills, Achey Body, Runny Nose (Mr. Snot here!), and so on.
There were also, Super-Drug variants, they were designed for a prescription Shotgun treatment for you.
You know, Kill everything, that I have and might have. Just give me RELIEF!
My own personal concern was the proper control and management of the volume of Mr.Snot that was dripping from my nose! Amazing Volume to be exact!
I, in my ignorance and haste just grabbed a box of the cheapest tissues I could find and dropped them into my cart.
My wife, immediately pulled them out of the cart, and explained that I needed a different type of tissue. So back to the Tissue shelf, where my education began in earnest.
Did I just want those cheap rough tissues I had picked, or did I want one of the following:
- Tissues that were soft and soothing to my nose.
- Tissues with lotions made into them, so my nose would not become irritated and sore, as I captured and disposed of Mr. Snot.
- Tissues with a popular brand of chest rub made into them, just to open up my Sinuses and encourage a faster discharge of Mr. Snot.
- And there was even a box of Super Tissues. I don't remember what they did, but they cost even more than the others.
My wife said I really needed the ones with Lotion, whereupon she went into a comparison mode on the different brands infused with Lotion, and finally picked an acceptable one for me.
They do feel good!
Back to my Friend - Mr. SNOT!
I started this article, on Snot, without doing any in-depth research.
I know what it is.
I know that it is a Mucus excretion of the body!.
I know it is there for a purpose, to catch dust, dirt, and bacteria, and provide a path of drainage from the body, to protect the lungs etc.
I even know that its friend Mr Booger, is just dried up Snot.
I guess, I am just trying to vent my frustration, at having "yet another Cold" that I got from yet another anonymous donor.
I finally went to the web and "Googled" the word SNOT!
I was amazed. I got almost THREE MILLION hits!
As they say: "That Just Aint Right!"
How, in any sane world, can there be that many different pieces of information on this runny Mucus friend of mine.
Like everyone else in this lazy world of ours, I scanned through the first half dozen or so, from the top of the list.
Isn't that what Google counts on?
Information overkill struck me right between the eyes, after around the sixth listing, so I shut down Google Search at that time.
I did not care that Mr. Snot had made it into Wikipedia (Immortality that!).
I did not want to know the scientific names for Mr. Snot and all of the potential medical problems related to Mr. Snot.
And, I Did not want to know, how to MAKE MY OWN FAKE SNOT!
So, I, my drugs, and my specialized brand of Tissues will just sit here, and wait for Mother Nature to kick up my own internal antibodies, or whatever they are, and KILL the NASTY PRICK.
Sorry Mr. Snot, but ...... You Gotta Go!
Then I will be rid of him!
At least until some other un-thinking, inconsiderate, illness-carrying, relative or friend donates another variant of a Cold to me!
Excuse me while I open another box of Tissues!